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Original poster

Mumsnet behaviour-is it a police state?

499 replies

talktalk · 04/05/2006 14:18

Hello, I've been lurking on Mumsnet for some time now but finally decided to post having been horrified at the reception that some people have received.

I always assumed that, within reason, mumsnet would be a place for parents/carers to come and, mostly anonymously, discuss their concerns. Over the last few weeks I have seen some ghastly behaviour from mns against innocent posts.
Are some of you out there assuming the mantle of "mumsnet police" and if so should you not announce that fact?

Why are people so aggressive? I've researched some of the more aggressive posters and it seems that there is a pattern to their behaviour.
If you disagree with a post or challenge its viewpoint perhaps you should just make it known and move on-berating people for their view or concern seems wrong to me.

There are lovely people on mumsnet and its such a shame that there are others who seem to get too busy and bully people into submission when they don't agree with them Sad

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expatinscotland · 06/05/2006 23:56

Oh, so it's up to YOU then to determine who's being cliquish, sanctomonious, 'unwelcoming', judgemental, sarcastic, 'more pride than sense' and whatever other adjective you wish to apply to whomever as you see fit.

Hmmm, that seems a little judgemental.

It's a net forum.

Honestly, I'll never understand how some people have the energy to spend getting upset about a bunch of random strangers online.

sansouci · 06/05/2006 23:57

Yeah, I've been on MN for years but I'm not popular.

expatinscotland · 06/05/2006 23:57

Where did I say I owned this site, catalogue?

Nowhere!

And who said anything about leaving?

expatinscotland · 06/05/2006 23:57

Did I say leave? No, I asked a question - why would a person hang round a forum that upset them so much?

sansouci · 06/05/2006 23:58

It's good. I like to keep a low profile.

expatinscotland · 06/05/2006 23:58

And FWIW, catalogue, 'bovver' spent a lot of effort personally attacking people by name.

sansouci · 06/05/2006 23:59

expat dear girl, please calm yourself!Grin

expatinscotland · 06/05/2006 23:59

:o, sans. mind how you park! :o

SaintGeorge · 07/05/2006 00:00

WTF?

I come back to find out I'm suddenly the baddy?

I don't mind anyone having a go at me for my opinions but I don't bloody well see why you need to call me a 'stupid t*at'.

Well guess what, now I am f**ing fuming Angry

Have the guts to post what you say under your own name and then we can fight this out properly eh?

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:01

Perhaps custardo and GS posted what they did just b/c that's what they believed, not just to support SG.

Just a thought . . .

sansouci · 07/05/2006 00:02

you can say that again! I've never done anything naughty (with the car) since.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:03

The one time I double parked, I got a ticket.

sansouci · 07/05/2006 00:04

a-HA! so I'm not the only sinner... wait, let me get my ammo out...

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:06

£30. Man, that hurt. It was a cold, hard bust, too. 'Is this your car?' 'Yes. Just finish writing it so I can be off.'

Grrrrr.

bovverboots · 07/05/2006 00:07

i personally attacked people by name who had attacked someone else. of course it's not up to me to determine who is what, but if people want to make sarcastic or aggressive comments then they should be open to some comeback. you made a withering comment about newbies, expat, on a thread about that sort of behaviour. i was commenting that it didn't seem welcoming.

your comment about not being on the site if it upsets me so much could apply to dozens of MNers at any one time. but like real life there are good times and bad times and most of the time i really like this site.

SaintGeorge · 07/05/2006 00:08

I am waiting for an apology.

Don't suppose I will get it, but hey, I live in hope.

Do you intend to apologise or retract your personal remarks?

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:08

Open to comeback fair enough, but is 'stupid twat' necessary? B/c when you're going to come on and slag people for being aggro, and then you personally call them a stupid twat, it doesn't do much for your credibility.

sansouci · 07/05/2006 00:09

I know exactly how you feel bovver but you can't change 'em!

as my ol gran used to say: if you can't stand the heat, keep out of the kitchen.

good night.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:11

Don't hold your breath, SG.

Kind Regards
Snobby Cow

bovverboots · 07/05/2006 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:14

am i arguing? are you one of those defensive types that sees everything around you as an argument, a pop at you, etc?

i don't assume ANYTHING is about me unless i'm named.

i'm not upset, angry or bothered. i'm bored and curious w/bad insomnia.

that's about all.

never a good idea to assign emotions to a stranger online - it gives away too much about you.

SaintGeorge · 07/05/2006 00:16

Err, no I did not get aggressive. You aint seen nothing if you think that was aggressive.

I admit I was slightly miffed and offhand with TaiTai, because she seemed determined to keep this argument going despite seemingly having called a truce already. The subject had pretty much been done to death but she wanted to go over it all again.

You obviously have some major sort of grudge against me, but since you don't want to own up to who you are I can't do anything about that.

I am still waiting for an apology for the personal remark though.

I really don't give a damn what you think about me - but I will not put up with anyone calling me that.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2006 00:17

in addition to being a namechanger, you're dull.

night night.

bovverboots · 07/05/2006 00:17

no, i don't see everything around me as an argument at all. 'arguing' was perhaps the wrong word, sorry, i meant it loosely to mean you still posting.

bovverboots · 07/05/2006 00:23

i don't agree that TaiTai seemed determined to go through the argument all again. she simply mentioned the policy. OK, maybe it would have been more concillatory if she didn't, but she didn't have a go at rhubarb again and she had a point, don't you think? That if on this site we use there is a policy of giving people the benefit of the doubt, why are some people calling others trolls instead of keeping schtum but quietly reporting if they're worried? and you weren't a BIT offhand...