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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

has anyone else's child NOT had separation anxiety?

31 replies

starlover · 02/05/2006 21:41

DS is 15 months and he has not yet shown even the slightest sign of separation anxiety.
He is happy to do his own thing wherever we are, he has NEVER been clingy. he also hates having cuddles.

We went to a new toddler group when he was about 10 months old and he just shot through the door without a backward glance and was happily playing when i found him.

He is the same now. Today we were walking through the park and he wandered off to look at some flowers. I called him and he vaguely looked in my direction... I called him and he wouldn';t come (i know, i know he's only 15 months!) but then I said "bye bye" and walked off and he just waved to me and went the opposite direction!

He seems to have no fear at all. Don't get me wrong I adore how independant and gregarious he is... but is it worrying that he has shown no signs of separation anxiety? I keep reading about how it's an important stage of development...

OP posts:

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Original poster

starlover · 02/05/2006 21:58

bump

OP posts:

chipkid · 02/05/2006 22:04

has he been at nursery from a youngish age?
My ds was similar-his separation anxiety came later-nearer to 2

TheBlonde · 02/05/2006 22:04

No sign of it here either

Nightynight · 02/05/2006 22:05

sounds like 3 of my 4. 2 of them have never shown any separation anxiety at all. I like to think that this is a sign of extraordinary intelligence....

Mirage · 02/05/2006 22:40

DD1 never showed any sign of seperation anxiety.She never went to nursery & was only ever looked after by my mum or sister whilst I was at work.At 2 she started pre school without turning a hair & just said 'bye bye mummy ' & went off to play.She has just been on holiday for a long weekend with my sister & a group of my sisters friends & was perfectly happy.

She was never a cuddly baby,& never clung to anyone,but now,at 2.5,she is very affectionate & likes to curl up on my lap whilst I stoke her hair.

I like to think of it as a sign that she feels very secure.Your ds may be the same & feel so secure of you that he has 'skipped' the separation anxiety phase?

Original poster

starlover · 02/05/2006 22:54

nope, he has never been looked after by anyone except me, aside from 3 or 4 occasions when my parents have babysat (and he's been asleep)... that said he did wake up once and wasn't at all fazed by my mum being there instead of me!

Glad it isn't just him though... keep thinking it's something awful wrong with him or something! lol

nightynight, i think you might be right about the intelligence

mirage, my mum says it's just because he's secure as well, so maybe that is what it is. I am very laidback and maybe he picks up on that. I hope he becomes cuddly one day like your dd though!

OP posts:

blueteddy · 02/05/2006 22:58

DS2 has been passed around from a very young age & has never shown the slightest sign of seperation anxiety either. Infact I think he is happier to be left with my mum or MIL as it is far more exciting than staying with Mummy!
He even had a tantrum about leaving nursery when I picked him up from his second session! How bad does that look??!

Thomcat · 02/05/2006 22:59

DD1 never ever even slightly fazed by me leaving her. She's had friends pick her up from school, my mums or wherever and never batted an eyelid. She's stayed overnight at my friends without me and has been totally cool. i've dropped her off at a totally new playscheme place during easter holidays and she just took off with a quick 'bye-bye' mummy and not even a glance over her shoulder to check i was still there! she always seems pleased to see me though at least!

brimfull · 02/05/2006 23:03

my ds has never really shown any separation anxiety.He's always been looked after by me or dh or dd and occassional friends.He started nursery at 3 without a backward glance.It's a blessing!

cat64 · 02/05/2006 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

starlover · 02/05/2006 23:27

yeah i know what you mean... kind of glad he isn't clingy! lol

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 03/05/2006 00:17

Starlover, I remember being about 13 and looking after my little cousin aged 2. We were outside in the freezing cold and I just wanted to go home. So I waved at my cousin , called "bye-bye" and pretended to leave. She waved back "bye-bye" with the hugest grin and walked off! She is a perfectly normal girl now, a nurse and fabulous ! (Though she did leave Ireland to study nursing in England! Definitely no separation anxiety!)

Chandra · 03/05/2006 00:22

Mine was exactly as yours, he would go with anybody! someway I thought he had the idea that the world was there to smile at him... now... he takes a goo ime hiding behind my legs before joining in any activity...

tensing · 03/05/2006 09:26

None of mine did

Mog · 03/05/2006 09:35

All three of mine are like this - and it can be a bit worrying from the point of view that they don't seem that bothered whether you are there are not. Must admit I wouldn't mind a bit of clingyness, especially when I left them at grandparents for 4 days and they all just waved me off! It can make you feel like you're just wallpaper to their lives.

poppiesinaline · 03/05/2006 09:44

DS1 didnt have it at all.

DD was a bit clingy but nothing bad

DS2 (12 months) hasnt had it yet. Will glady be passed to strangers in the street

Uwila · 03/05/2006 10:25

DD is 3, and yet to suffer separation anxiety. When she was about 13 months old and I would show up at the childminder's door to pick her up after an 11 hour day, she would run the other way because she didn't want to leave. You'd thinkI beat every night or something. She was just happy to play, and the childminder had LOTS more toys (and two young boys whome DD adored).

DS is a bit more clingy (11 months now) but I wouldn't say there has been a separation anxiety. He get a bit pissed off if everyone leaves the room, but he doesn't really mind who stays (so long as he knows them).

alex8 · 03/05/2006 10:45

Mine is almost 3 and has never had it

katiebl · 03/05/2006 12:19

My son (19 months) has never suffered from seperation anxiety. He is a very confident child and is not scared of things like loud noises (he joins in) or new situations or people. It used to upset me but I've seen the problems people with clingy kids go through and I wouldn't like to go through that. I know now I have a very strong bond with my son and am glad that it won't suffer the problems I do because of shyness and lack of confidence. Was expecting him to be a clingy child though cos I was really really clingy (until about when I left home!!) but now am just glad he a happy confident child.

suzywong · 03/05/2006 12:23

nor mine
not anxiety
Ds2 went through a very bossy stage letting me know I could leave the room when he said so and only then.
As I am a SAH/FTM I have never left either of them except for a few hours at friends' houses or with MIL at home and have never had any trouble whatsoever

prettybird · 03/05/2006 12:40

Mine netiher. Dh and I used to joke that separation anxiety kicked in first with us

He was going f/t to a childminder from 4 months - used to go in with a smile and greet me with a smile when I picked him up - who couldask for mre? :)

CorrieDale · 03/05/2006 12:45

Mog, that's a really good description of how I feel! DS (10 mo) will cry when Jessie Cat gets put away at Sing & Sign, but he hardly seems to notice when I leave the room. I know I should be grateful, but a small whingelet would be welcome!

GDG · 03/05/2006 12:46

Ds1 never did either. He started a morning nursery at age 2 and never looked back!

elliott · 03/05/2006 12:46

ds1 was/is just like that. Very happy just to go off and do his own thing. ds2 is more 'attached'.

CaptainDippy · 03/05/2006 12:54

Yep - neither of my two (both DD's, 2.2yrs and 11 months) have had much in the way of separation anxiety - a little bit occasionally, but nothing to write home about. They both go to nursery two afternoons a week and love it, couldn't care less about me leaving them. They don't mind spending an afternoon with people without mummy or daddy, even if they do not know them that well. Guessing they must just be very well adjusted, confident children - I must have done something right! Mine aren't much in for cuddles either, which is a bit ; but if they are happy, I'm happy!

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