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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

WWW's Ds has a question for all you with 8yos - do they just do as they're told when they're asked to do it?

34 replies

WideWebWitch · 30/03/2006 19:29

Ds is 8.5 and wants to know, he's sitting here now. We have just had a minor confrontation because I wanted him to have a shower (once a week, am very lax on this) and he wanted to argue with me about it for 10 minutes first. Anyway he's here and fragrant and I said I'd ask you lot if your 8yos are more or less compliant?

Thank you on behalf of www's ds!

OP posts:

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/03/2006 19:34

hopeful bump!

OP posts:

QE2 · 30/03/2006 19:37

Once a week?!! No wonder your mum describes you as "fragrant"!!

Some things are allowed to be up for negotiation, some things aren't. That means on certain things, you have to do what mums tell you even if you don't like it cos mums know best!

When my boys were 8, they did as they were told especially with things like showers!

LadyTophamHatt · 30/03/2006 19:37

Well, young wwwizard my ds isn't 8 yet (infact he's 7 in a few weeks) and he never ever ever does something when I first ask.
I have to say it again...then again...and normally again before I have to shout it.

I not sure if this means I'm on your side or your mums side but I hope it helps anyway.

(BTW you looked cool as a jedi)

starlover · 30/03/2006 19:37

well.... i worked with 5 boys and they did all LOVE showers!

but then, they were faced with that or a bath with their baby sister... lol!

starlover · 30/03/2006 19:38

oh yeh, and they had to have one EVERY night! so think yourself lucky

bran · 30/03/2006 19:38

What would you like people to say WWW? I don't have an 8yo so can't comment I'm afraid. Your title make me think of that favourite refrain of children though "everyone else's mother lets them ...", MN could be a great resource for parents to check and then tell their child "everyone else's child does x when they're told to".

tamum · 30/03/2006 19:39

Hello www's ds :) My ds is now 11, but he has not been doing as he's told first time for quite a while now. You are not alone....

SaintGeorge · 30/03/2006 19:39

Reply to WWW DS - yes of course my 8 yr old ds is very compliant. I only have to ask or tell him once and he does as requested. No arguing. All his friends are the same.

Reply to WWW - compliant? What's that then? Previous discussions and agreements are forgotten unless they favour him, needs to be asked/told 20 times for everything and will then still argue the point.

tortoiseshell · 30/03/2006 19:39

Dh's godson (same age) is very compliant, has his moments of rebellion but generally does what he's asked without arguing.

tegan · 30/03/2006 19:40

DD1 is 8 next month and I am repeatedly argueing with her to do anything.
Everything is a confrontation is this house.

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/03/2006 19:40

Once a week is very lax isn't it? He doesn't stink honestly! I would like people to tell the truth, really! I agree, we could all be checking that 'everyone else's mum lets them' thing here couldn't we? Ds is coming over to read this now.

OP posts:

LIZS · 30/03/2006 19:42

ds isn't keen on showers but he has to after games and swimming at school - so that is up to 3 times a week ! Count yourself lucky Sometimes he is compliant but more often needs reminding again ,and again, and again....

Orlando · 30/03/2006 19:44

DO THE SHOWER THING MINI-WWW!

Bet you can't get in, wash and get out in less than 5.5 minutes.

That's my 8 yo's record

Orlando · 30/03/2006 19:45

And she's a GIRL

stoppinattwo · 30/03/2006 19:45

Just make sure you do the same for him when he wants something.
QE2 is right there are somethings that are negotiable some things just are not up for debate............ Maybe a choice would be the answer. ie ask him what nights he thinks he should have a bath? If he says none of them then tell him hes obviously not old enough to make such a decision on his own so you will make it for him - that way you have given him a choice .
..........The alternative is to put a big easter egg in the shower basin and the while hes in then switch it on? [evil grin]

QE2 · 30/03/2006 19:45

5.5 minutes - pah! mini QE (aged 10 ) can do it in 3 minutes and 12 seconds! Ner!

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/03/2006 19:47

OK, this is from ds:

and - he typed the grin and is sitting here smiling and smelling lovely. Right, have well and truly embarrassed him now so off to read him a story!

Thanks all, you've made us laugh!

OP posts:

Orlando · 30/03/2006 19:48

Ah QE2, but that would be in the 10 to 14 age category.

Different level altogether.

(That's when speed-performance peaks. After 14 it goes backwards quite dramatically with an average score of around 43 minutes)

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/03/2006 19:49

Ds just asked why that post didn't come up as an evil grin! Hmm, we need one hey? Thanks everyone, he will try to beat 5.5 minutes next time and we'll report back! Night.

OP posts:

kalex · 30/03/2006 19:49

My DD 7, 8 in 8 days and counting, will argue for a little while, generally until I point out in the time she was arguing, she could have been finished and back doing the things she wants,

So to recap, Mothers don't change their minds, if the decide you need a shower - you will have one. You can argue, but it only detracts from the time you get to do your stuff - coz believe me, homework is not the thing that your mum is going not make you do, you are more likely to lose TV time.

When she asks you - GO DO IT, saves on the shouting and the aggro.
How often do you hear her fighting with the alarem coz she doesn't want to get up.
Or fighting with the oven when she doesn't want to cook dinner.

PS you look cool as a Jedi

RedTartanLass · 30/03/2006 19:51

WWW DS, when you're 14 and she's banging on the bathroom door, because you've been too long in the shower, for the third time that day, remind your mum of this conversation!!

Sorry WWW!!!

sniff · 31/03/2006 09:54

er no mine doesnt we have to have a debate on it even if he really wants to do it

he does shower though but only because we told him he smelt for two weeks !!!!!!! now he seem to enjoy it (touch wood)

fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2006 10:23

my 8-yr-old also realises the importance of the MN jury LOL! We've had a prob with uncollected rubbish and my ds suggested that I should write to MN as ''they'll get it sorted'' :)
But no, he doesn't do what he is told straight away. Partly down to dyslexic tendancies which means asking him something takes a while for the question to register, and partly cos he's an 8-yr-old boy!!! Our marble jar comes in for things I want him to do regularly tho (30 marbles = easter hols trip to conema at the mo) He earns them for things like doing his homework without 4 hours of tantrums first, remembering to put clothes in the laundry, rather than cramming them under his bed etc etc. Thanks god he goes swimming twice a week, or we'd never get him showered or bathed either

grumpyfrumpy · 31/03/2006 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMuddle · 31/03/2006 16:45

WWW, it's made me feel great reading that your DS only has a shower once a week. My 9 year old DS is the same, but I've never admitted that in RL before to anyone. PS, he does do what he's told, but only cos he sees the trouble his big brother (10) gets into for arguing about EVERYTHING.

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