To ask what your three year old can do

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My three year old DS was late walking ( 22 months) and when he did he never steadied up ( still falls regularly now). So we have been seeing a paediatrician and physio about that. His walking is very slowly improving, but I don't particularly have any concerns about his development otherwise

Today though he saw a different paediatrician, who was distressingly negative. She said he was slow in his speaking, needed a speech therapist. Slow in fine motor development, was unlikely to be able to write, would need a scribe and OT therapist.

I'm shocked, and don't know whether to be worried or angry. I think he's ok, a little slower than others perhaps but now I'm scared. He's already had a year of tests under neurologist and physio care, and seemingly there's nothing wrong with him.

So what can your three year old do? Does my boy sound terribly abnormal?

Movement- He can walk and run, climb, kick a ball, dance, but not jump yet, and is still wobbly on steps, falls over a lot. He can walk with his balance bike, but not run yet. He can't use a scooter. He can kick and reach out in the swimming pool, but can't float on his own.

Eating- he eats everything you give him pretty much, with a preference for using his hands. Can use cutlery messily, but needs encouragement. Makes a mess.

Drawing- can hold a pen and scribble, but no interest beyond that.

Speaking- new words everyday. Uses sentences, refers to the past, the future. Uses tenses. Not 100 percent clear, maybe half of what he says makes sense. But manages conversations with old ladies on bus and other children. Chatters away constantly. Males up lots of own words

Education- understands counting, can count uptown twenty but not necessarily in the right order. Understands colours and letters, but gets them wrong mainly. Remembers all his favourite story books and reads them to himself. Remembers words to songs.

Social- will talk to anyone, join in any game, likeable and happy. Can share easily although going through a stage of telling children to go away and pushing.

Sleep- sleeps 12 hours a night and 1-3 hour nap every day

Does he sound normal?

Oh and

Toilet- toilet trained for eight months or so. Can take himself to toilet, and pull down trousers and pants to use potty or wee standing up in loo. Can't get trousers back up. Still on nappies at night

Sounds normal to me. My son does all that but he's not toilet trained yet, we've just started.

He was three 2 weeks ago.

I think you should ignore the pead and listen to the neurologist.

He sounds absolutely gorgeous.

She sounds incredibly insensitive. Some children do struggle and absolutely blossom with the help of speech therapists etc. Can she really say at this point that he's never going to be able to write, ffs?

I take up all offers of help by any therapists going, but would at the same time take everything she said with a ton of salt.

Sounds absolutely normal to me, by which I mean not too dissimilar to my son (who is almost 3). DS doesn't nap during the day and has (just) learnt to jump - oh how proud we all were! He doesn't like walking very far, falls over a lot (even when just standing!) and has poor balance - but I think that is just him, he'll never be a sportsman (and I'm not in the least sporty)

All the other stuff about you boy sounds likes he is achieving very well!

Mime is just three and sounds pretty similar to yours!

Sounds absolutely normal. And lovely. Especially the making his own words up bit.
My DS2 is slow at speaking, but as long as his vocabulary is growing, I am confident he'll get there.

DS is almost 3 and doesn't do that much! Sounds normal to me.

My DS is slow at stuff and we've been worried about him in the past but he's repeatedly been given the all-clear. It's hard when other kids' seem to be doing all sorts of things. But it's just how some children are. Try not to worry

He sounds ok to me! Is he 3 or almost 4 though?

OP,he sounds fine to me. I have a 3.4 DS who could learn plenty from your DS.

Sounds about the same as my DS who is also 3. Does he go to any pre school or anything yet?

he sounds like he's probably within the range of "normal", but that doesn't mean that he doesn't need help with his fine motor skills and speech.

I would say, if you are offered help then grab it with both hands! if he has speech therapy and they say actually he is fine then you don't have to go back. but if he does need it then you need to get on the waiting list asap as it can sometimes take a long time.

my 3 year old speaks very clearly, and I think (having an older child who has had hearing/speech difficulties) that if only about half of what he says is intelligible then yes, that would concern me slightly and i'd be getting it checked out

again, with the fine motor skills, they'll give you some things to practice and improve that.

you don't need to be worried or angry (although i can see why you feel that way). the paediatrician maybe needs some lessons in tact, but if she feels he'd benefit from help and is willingly offering to refer for that assistance then that's a good thing!

When was he three? That makes a big difference. He sounds fine to me, apart from maybe needing a SALT. My boys were slow speakers.

He sounds pretty similar to my DS at the same age to be honest. He was a late walker and didn't say a word until he was around 20 months.

His 'drawing' capabilities are about right for his age. He's showing an interest in holding a pen and scribbling - that's great! That's all I'd look for in a 3 year old really.

If you want to help him in that department, get him 'drawing' in gloop (cornflour and water - plus green food colouring to turn it into slime) with his fingers - lovely and messy. Little boys love it!

And give him a stick and some wellies to 'draw' in the mud. You could model drawing lines, the first letter of his name, squiggles and get him to copy you. Those will both develop his co-ordination, and the gross motor skills that will help him with the fine motor skills required for writing.

You can do the same with sandpits or moondust (sand on a tray with glitter mixed into it).

It sounds like he's still having some difficulty walking, but you're already aware of that and are receiving support.

Daft question but have you had his eyes tested? He sounds like both my daughter and son who did need very strong prescriptions but really improved with spectacles.

He sounds fine to me. My DD is three and a half and he sounds at a similar stage to how she and her little friends were at 3.

My friends have got children of a similar age to my DD and it's amazing how different they all are. Some are very verbal, some are very active, some are very good at counting, drawing etc, some were potty trained earlier than others, some are very sociable, some shy etc.

My nephew could not speak at just three and it came all of a sudden in the following months.

They are all different and your son sounds definitely normal when compared to the children I know of a similar age.

I would absolutely ignore the bit about being unable to write FFS what a terrible (and unfounded!) thing to say. But if she's offering OT and SALT help I would grab it with both hands to be honest. It's not just handed out on a plate and I have found both OTs and SALTs to be the most incredibly practical, helpful people. He does sound a little behind in some of his physical stuff and maybe there's some pronounciation issues.

What I'm basically saying is, none of this sounds serious but if someone is offering him some help to catch up, then take it and ignore the unhelpful negativity.

(for context, my DS has a full diagnosis of a social communication difficulty, and has OT problems (1st percentile at last assessment) but gets NO help from OT or SALT. So bite their hands off.)

Sounds a lot like DS, who was three two weeks ago. Except DS isn't toilet trained - we had a go at training last weekend but he's not ready so have stopped again for now, he doesn't nap, he sort of jumps and has recently mastered his scooter, but he can't pedal a bike or pedal car.

Quenelle, do we have the same son? Mine was born 11th June...

Is he just 3? If so, he sounds completely normal. Probably slightly delayed physically (which you know).

He was just three last month.

Thanks everyone, all comforting and supportive and interesting answers.

I am and remain worried about his walking. But every single blood test, scan, biopsy etc has come back negative. I don't know what to think and am trying to just accept it's how he is and beyond helping him with physio, not worry too much.

But she thinks because he prefers to eat with his hands, doesn't show much interest in drawing beyond the odd scribble and can't dress himself them he has trouble with fine motor skills and won't be able to write.

His speaking isn't as clear as some some as his three year peers that I know who are 100 clear, but he just said " thank you for getting chocolate buttons for me mummy" perfectly. I hadn't worried up till now.

I worry about getting him speech, occupational and educational therapists. I don't want him to think he's abnormal. I already worry about him at the paed and neurologist apts, with them talking about him do negatively while he sits and listens. He 's such a happy spirited funny wee boy, I don't want him to be sad and worried.

He goes to nursery a day a week. He'll go two days from September.

Thanks for suggestions for drawing games, really helpful!

my dd is 3.5 she has low muscle tone, she didn't walk till she was 23 months. Your sons abilities sound more advanced than my daughters she cant take her own clothes down, run or climb stairs. She has no where near the involvement that has been suggested to you. She gets regular physio and has recently been referred to SLT.

I think some professional can be overly negative I had a similar app with a community paed earlier this year. She met my daughter for all of 30 mins and basically said our neurologist and physio's who have known my daughter for 2+ years where wrong.

He's not 'abnormal'. He's a little boy and his own person. He is who he is. Whatever his strengths/weaknesses turn out to be

No I haven't had his eyes tested, but wouldn't the neurologist and paed have covered that? I think he's ok tho, he generally sees things before I do!

Mine is three a month tomorrow and is my DC3. I am not remotely worried about him and he sounds very similar to your DS, perhaps better at walking/jumping etc but nothing else. All my three walked before they were one, but the boys were late talkers.
Mine has been toilet trained for about 5 months and can pull his pants up but that is it, he can't do buttons or anything like that. He isn't really interested in drawing, he will just scribble. Won't sing, would rather jump up and down.

I really think your DS sounds absolutely fine TBH, I'd just taking him to SALT and sack everything else off. Mine starts school nursery in September, five mornings and he is only two still!

Folk girl. Thanks! That's exactly what I think and want to keep thinking. Today shook me up a bit :-(