feeling down - 4 week old doesnt stop crying...

[may08]

Hi,
My 4 week old DD will not stop crying when she is awake. She seems constantly hungry so I am continualy feeding her (even though she is having loads more than recommended) but even this doesnt seem to help. We have tried Colief and Infacol in case it is colic but neither seems to make any difference. Its getting me down as it doesnt seem to matter what I do (I also pick her up for cuddles etc. but again it doesnt make any difference).

She isnt too bad for sleeping at night time thankfully but I am just finding any awake time really difficult as I cant get anything done and my DS1 (age 4) is hard work to. I know its a horrible thing to say but I dread it when she wakes up because I know what is coming...screaming and more screaming! I tried ignoring her but she turned hysterical and purple within minutes and I couldnt do it.

Has anyone had a similar experience they can share or any advice to offer?

I had a screamer

it's horrid

carry as much as possible (folk on here will recc slings to try) as she just wants to be close

GP to see if it's reflux?

awww

congratulations

My ds is 7 months now and he used to scream all day , literally. He was very prem and has reflux and I think he was in pain looking back now. It is incredibly draining and I have felt so isolated . I also have an old daughter and I think it really affected their bonding ( on top of all the hospital time) . I have been told my many 'helpful ' people that babies don't cry like that unless there is something wrong . Do you think she could be in pain? We have on,y in the last months got the reflux under control and he is mostly happy but does cry more than all my friends babies.

Are you breast feeding? This is going to be hugely unpopular on here but my friends newborn screamed the whole time and as soon as he was out on formula he stopped and is such a chilled out baby it's untrue. Obviously that is totally up to you but I know just how awful being shouted at at least 12 hours a day is.

First, go see your GP to check there's nothing medically wrong.

Second, watch . I've just recommended it on another thread about colic. It was recommended to me when DS went through similar.

Third, have an unmumsnetty hug, a and a It will pass. I promise!

Thank you all,

bishboscone- started breastfeeding but am mainly bottle now - tbh i thought it would help but it hasnt made much difference. Last night we gave her 4x 4oz bottles in the space of 5 hours as she seemed so hungry - surely this is way too much? eventually she settled. at the moment i am holding her while she hysterically screams, she seems hungry despite having a bottle only an hour ago!

Had a similar experience with DS1 but it wasnt quite this bad, didnt think it would be so bad 2nd time round!

I basically sat on the sofa holding my DD for the first few weeks after she was born. I fed her (for what felt like hours) and then held her while she slept. If I put her down she would cry.

The only variation was when the weather was nice enough to go for a walk with the buggy. Better still were the odd times when someone else held DD and I got to go for a walk on my own.

It did all pass and she became a very relaxed baby once we hit the 3 month mark (I have a theory that babies know exactly how far they can push you before you break - then they throw in their first smile, or a decent day time nap, or something - and suddenly you have the ability to cope for another few weeks).

My now 11 year old was like that 24/7. I found using a sling was best and my elder daughter was 2 1/2 at the time so needed amusing as well.

Do you take her out in a buggy to try settle her?

My D2 had a reflux - ou would know if she had one due to projectile vomiting. Try keep as stressless as possible yourself and calm. The more you get stressed about it the more baby will pick up obit and your milk wil start disappearing.

Just as an aside do you thnk she may not be getting enough milk? Maybe a chat with the dreaded HV - I had to top dD1 up from about 4 weeks with a bottle but she also breast fed till she was about 6 months old

Yes, movement helps . Have you gt a swinging chair? It was a godsend for us. I have one you can have if you are anywhere near me .. Sympathies because it is horrid .

Ps, I wouldn't worry about over feeding , if she is hungry she will drink . Is she a big baby?

8lb 4oz when she was born, now she is 9lb 130z!

Sympathies.

DS was like this and it is really really hard.

It wasn't even a case of being cuddled, I had to be walking around bouncing him around constantly. Sling helped but even then he'd wake up, scream, feed, scream, scream, scream for 2 hours, fall asleep for 20-45 mins then start again. But at least the screaming was slightly less frantic when he was in the sling than if I tried to put him down.

The swing/carseat/buggy had all worked brilliantly for dd to stop her crying but ds hated them all-every car journey was hell with him screaming the whole way.

I spoke to the hv and gp about it and they said it wasn't reflux as he wasn't worse at certain times eg after feeding. Just said some babies cry a lot and recommended infacol or colief. Neither worked but by then I was too exhausted to fight for a diagnosis.

I don't think people realised how bad it was as they'd offer well intentioned but pointless advice (such as try gripe water, take him for a drive, go for a walk etc-all of which had failed to work) and I just wanted to shout this isn't normal crying-it isn't that simple!!

It got much better once he could move, especially once he could walk (which he thankfully did at 10/11 months)

Four weeks is still tiny, she is maybe just finding life hard to process. That may be nonsense but I see a kind of logic to it! It must be horrible but it will pass. I wish I had a concrete suggestion but I don't. Just remember that if it gets too much it's OK to put her down somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes.

BTW some babies seem to respond to gripe water even though there's apparently nothing active in it. So if you haven't tried it (I don't think you mentioned it), it might be worth a go. It won't do any harm.

Good luck, I really feel for you and I'm sure when she gets a bit bigger things will improve a lot. Glad to hear she is sleeping OK at night, long may that continue.

Totally know how hard it is when they scream for no particular reason. I read a book & bought a video (sucker?) called 'Happiest Baby on the Block', which recommended a few things for screaming babies, 1. A dummy, 2. Shhshhing pretty loudly, 3. swaddling 4. very gently giggling their head in your hand (NOT SHAKING THEM) while you hold them and do the shhshing.

The video is kind of irritating because you see the Dr/author visiting frazzled families with inconsolable screaming infants and getting them to chill out in a few minutes.

The best advice however, would be to get someone you trust to take over for a bit so you can get some rest and clear your head. It's not easy to be screamed at day in day out & everyone needs a break.

A friend of mine has a DS who used to cry all of the time, day and night, he just seemed very angry! He was diagnosed with silent reflux. The things she found to help were holding him more upright instead of lying down and he was prescribed special milk that when drank went thick so it couldn't come back up again.

Hope things improve for you soon.

DD cried all the time too. It's just awful, you feel like you can't take them anywhere, and it's so thankless isn't it?

Would definitely second going to the doc to check for silent reflux, we found a regime of medication and food thickener helped.

A swinging chair that went side to side was good for us, as were very lengthy walks with the pram.

Dummy dummy dummy. She might be a sucky baby who is getting a bit over-full on the bottle because she jkust wants to suck. I would second the thing about getting a doctor to check over for anything like reflux or dairy intolerance (not lactose intolerance, intolerance to cow's milk protein). I have had two babies with both these problems and boy did they scream until we got the right medication/ milk combination.

IF there's anything like eczema, constipation or diarrhea then suspect cow's milk as the issue.

Hi there- really sorry it's like this at the mo but promise it will improve. My dd was a but like this at the start & it's actually the reason I introduced a dummy as she just wanted to suck all the time & I actually thought she was really hungry but ended up giving her a bit too much milk for her small tummy so that made it worse. Def get her checked out by the GP & dummies are a personal choice but mine was a life saver & I just got rid of it this week. Take good care of yourself too x

Have you considered a Cranial osteopath? Really helped my newphew who cried a lot in the early days.

brutallyfrank.wordpress.com/2009/06/12/cranial-osteopathy-easing-the-trauma-of-birth/

Def check if she has reflux, ask your hv for infant gaviscon (or can you get it over the counter these days?). It takes a couple of feeds to help but dd2 was a changed baby when we finally got gaviscon at 8 weeks.

my sympathies
i have had two screamers

get a baby swing thing if you can - ebay, freecycle?
Agree with offering a dummy as well. Both my dds loved to comfort suck. dd1 had a dummy, and dd2 sucks her fingers.

Hi, I had a screamer too! He cried non stop, every day from 2 weeks to 13 weeks. I nearly went out of my mind.

Walking around with him was the only thing that helped, and he also wanted to feed constantly. Wouldn't take a dummy at all.

It will pass, but in the meantime, try and get out as much as you can. Company helps, and passing him over to a friend to walk up and down was a godsend.
Xxx

I feel for you. It is SO SO hard! I could always locate DH in supermarket if he had DD as I could hear her.Like you it was pretty near all day (from mid morning) EVERY day but she slept reasonably OK.
DD had reflux/colic.In the end I settled on Infacol and Dr Brown bottles and a dummy.A sling was of some help.The most help was a baby swing.
Take any offers of help - particularly if you can get something regular.Even a couple of hours a week is something to look forward to.
It WILL pass and one day you will be looking back on it.
Grit your teeth when helpful elderly ladies come up to you and say "I think she might be hungry/tired,Dear". People just cannot understand unless they've had a baby like that!

Oh countess I have that all the time...a woman tapped me on the shoulder the other day and said" does he needing feeding mum?" err fuck off ...!!!i can't be bothered to explain he was prem , reflux, is in pain bla bla so I just say no and walk away . I mean seriously do you think I starve him?

Mine screamed for 4 months solid. Ive posted this before but everyone used to say its colic meaning wind and i knew it wasnt. I breastfed on demand too so i knew it wasnt hunger. Colic is described as inexplicable prolonged crying. That was my dd.

Things that worked, dummy and movement. Either the car, pram or sling. We used to drive and drive dd around. Or i'd be pounding the streets with her. It meant i got no rest when she did though so in the end i bought a 'robopax' dream machine thing. A platform that the pram/carseat can sit on and rock. Worked really well and freed me from her physically enough to sleep!

It did pass but for months i was a wreck as she just would not settle. The night she was born she just cried and fed cried and fed. A midwife came into my room saying 'do you realise we all have to listen to that out there?'

The second night my mum stayed and went to bed at 9pm, she came back down at 7am and we were where she had left us, dd still crying and no sleep. I called my midwife in tears and she told me to get her out in the cold. My mum went mad at the suggestion. I put dd in a pram suit, dh took her in tje garden and she literally zonked out. He sat on a chair in the shed with her saying 'for christ sake go to bed whilst you can!'

I also used to get VERY cross bish (and still do,to be fair) when people say "Oh my baby had colic" and you then find out they've come to that diagnosis because their baby cries for a half hour and evening twice a week.......

Tis not quite the same,is it???!!!!!

that's an evening ,not and evening