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Original poster

Mummy and little boys bathing together......?

86 replies

Meanoldmummy · 14/01/2006 14:14

I've always enjoyed having my babies in the bath with me, ever since DS1 was born. I bath every day and it just seemed the right thing to do, as well as being fun and lovely. However DS1 is 3 now and I've sort of stopped doing it lately and started putting them in together without me... I suppose I'm worried that it might be "inappropriate" for a three year old boy to be in the bath with his naked mother, especially now that he asks questions about body parts etc (which I have always tried to answer frankly and without embarrassment)... I feel that DS2 (16mths) is missing out on the lovely intimate bathtimes with Mummy that his brother had, and I miss having them in with me too. Any thoughts? Is it perfectly natural or is it bordering on child abuse? I'm very confused.

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Pinotmum · 14/01/2006 14:18

Natural, completely. My ds is 3 yo and goes swimmming and of course I take him in the ladies changing area. Woman stand there naked and he doesn't bat any eyelid. He's seen mummy's lumps and bumps and fluff (his word) and so no embarrassing pointing or questions. Please don't stop bathing with your 3 yo - you are doing nothing wrong

emily05 · 14/01/2006 14:20

my 3 year jumps in my bath sometimes. agree with pinotmum - completely natural - if he was still djumping in when he is 15 I would worry!

beansprout · 14/01/2006 14:21

I was the bath with my dad later than that I seem to recall. Nothing untoward whatsoever AND he let me pour water over his head!!!

Pinotmum · 14/01/2006 14:23

Yes my dd is 5 yo and still takes over dh's bath. He comes in late and tired and runs a bath to soak in, as soon as dd and ds hear the word bath they strip off and insist in jumping in. Not a lot of relaxing by dh but I have a wonderful time watching "grown up" telly while he washes their hair

Piffle · 14/01/2006 14:25

I bathed with my mum or dad until I was 7 - the my little bro arrived and they got in with him
I bath with dd now and she is 3
I bathed with my ds until he was about 4 or 5
Mainly stopped as I preferred the shower in the morning.
Parents being natural with their own kids is not chld abuse - my mother was often naked around us 3 kids (me and two brothers) growing up
My ds is 12 and I often sit next to him in the bath and wash his hair for him or just chat about the day etc
He is private around dp and exp his natural father, I presume this openess with me will end soon though.
DD is a pleasure to bath with now that she has stopped pinching my nipples

tiredemma · 14/01/2006 14:26

i no longer allow ds1 ( age 5) to bath with me after he commented on my "boobie's" resting on my thighs...

nannyjo · 14/01/2006 14:28

i don't think there is anything wrong with it at all it is natural. However for some reason i can't do it now, i have always bathed with DS but just last week i felt a bit uncomforable (stupidly but you cant switch those feelings off) he is only 16 months but has started to stare or grab at my bits!!

I wish i could stop being silly and just enjoy it before i regret it later.

Enjoy it while you can i say.

Also DH has never bathed with him and i whenhe was a tiny baby i think it was the nicest feeling ever but he felt wrong sharing a beth from day 1 which is a shame i think.

Original poster
Meanoldmummy · 14/01/2006 14:29

Oh, this is so reassuring... I really don't want to lose that precious time with them but just wasn't sure it was OK. DS1 starts nursery school on Tuesday (waaah!) having NEVER been away from me, and I am feeling a bit sad that he seems to be slipping away from me and getting older really quickly. I was a bit nervous that other parents/nursery teachers/HVs etc might think it's not appropriate. It sounds as though I am just being paranoid though!

OP posts:
macwoozy · 14/01/2006 14:29

tiredemma
My ds still baths with me, and he's 5. He rarely questions my 'bits' as he's entirely used to seeing me naked. I used to often see my dad walking around naked, although it did start embarrasing me when I hit my twenties.

Pinotmum · 14/01/2006 14:33

My manager says her ds who is 14 yo still gets into bed with her and her dh for a cosy up some weekends but only when his 2 older sisters aren't around. There's quite a big age gap between him and his sisters. I think it's lovely he feels he can do this.

trefusis · 14/01/2006 14:33

This reply has been deleted

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Pinotmum · 14/01/2006 14:34

to clarify - his sisters would tease him

Freckle · 14/01/2006 14:34

DS3 is 7.5 now and he will still bowl into the bathroom when I'm in the bath and chat to me. Neither of us is bothered by it. I don't bath with any of the boys simply because I now feel bathtime is my time, candles, book, wine. Not really compatible with boys who want to splash you!

I still get changed in the bedroom regardless of whether a boy is in there or not. DS2 and DS3 don't seem fazed by it, although DS2 will keep mentioning it when I'm putting on my "boobycase" as he calls it (he's 10). DS1 at nearly 12 still rushes into my bedroom or bathroom without thinking, but will now tend to go straight back out saying "Ooops, sorry". That's his own wish; I've never indicated that he shouldn't come in when I'm bathing or changing. If I'm doing something that I'd rather not share with them, I close the door and tell them not to come in without asking.

spacecadet · 14/01/2006 14:35

my elder 2 are 14 and 11 but i bath with ds2 who is 4 and dd2 who is 17 months.

Original poster
Meanoldmummy · 14/01/2006 14:40

What age do people feel it's right to put a stop to it then? DS1 is very bright and verbal and has asked some fairly searching questions about anatomy!! Has anyone ever encountered any disparaging/shocked responses from anyone, such as HVs or other parents?

Sorry if I sound paranoid!!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 14/01/2006 14:52

My 8yo son still gets into the bath with me sometimes, why ever would there be anything wrong with it? When he doesn't want to any more then fine. Bodies are normal imo.

Freckle · 14/01/2006 14:59

Never encountered any shocked responses mainly because it's just not something I tend to discuss with people. What happens at home is our business.

Heathcliffscathy · 14/01/2006 14:59

i don't think there is a right age to stop from a moral point of view. but i certainly think that if the child starts showing any embarassment or not wanting to then stop!

nakedness is not something that causes confusion. no nakedness can and does.

i love bathing with ds. so does dh and in fact it is dh that does it weeknights with the three of us all bathing together at weekends. we'll take our cues from ds, when he feels like stopping we will (or when we just get fed up with it!).

Original poster
Meanoldmummy · 14/01/2006 15:00

I feel like a bit of a weirdo for asking now

Thanks for reassurance everyone!

OP posts:
iota · 14/01/2006 15:00

I don't actually bath with my ds's - they have each other and I usually shower. However they have seen me naked a lot as I don't wear anything in bed. I think they've both noticed that I don't have a willy

Heathcliffscathy · 14/01/2006 15:01

not weird at all. we'd be living in a bubble if we weren't affected by the hysteria around adult and child sexuality. but that doesn't mean it's right.

BudaBabe · 14/01/2006 15:17

My DS is 4 and I tend to hop in the bath quickly with him if I am going out after. I usually have a shower in the morning. He likes it and it doesn't make any comments.

He is at the stage of commenting on willies and bums but that's just being a 4 year old.

colditz · 14/01/2006 15:31

I shower with my 2.9 year old ds, and wander to the loo nude in the morning. It never occurred to me that people make an effort to cover up when their children are this young.

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 14/01/2006 15:34

Yes, I agree with others in that there is no need to ever cover up unless your child wants you to. If you are all comfortable with it, it is fine at any age, surely? It's sexual behaviour that would be inappropriate, not nakedness. Nakedness isn't sexual in itself, it's just....nakedness.

poppiesinaline · 14/01/2006 15:55

I bath with DS (he's nearly 9), so does DH. Until I read this thread I hadn't even given it a thought!
DS and DD still bath together too (nearly 9 and nearly 6). Hadn't given that a thought either! I presumed DS and DD will let me know in their own way when they want a bit of privacy. Anyway - saves on water!