This thread is incredibly reassuring and well timed, meanoldmummy, and I don't think you should feel silly at all for asking the question because I gather it's something that people have wildly differing reactions to, so I think it's totally fair that you'd want to know if it's OK. If you're interested, here's what just happened to me. . .
I've been bathing with my kids since they were babies. . .not regularly, but, say, once a week. They're now 6 and 3. I honestly don't even think about it it seems so natural. . .the kids just play with their toys and we have a chat & they don't even seem to pay any attention to my nakedness because they're so used to it! Dh is often there too, not in the bath, but ready to take the kids out of the bath and dry them off--so he, too, finds it very natural that I do this. Well, I had an upsetting conversation with my mom in America last week when I was there visiting. She pointed out how odd it is that my kids eat butter on their sandwiches (not so much the done thing in the US) and I said that was an English/European thing. She then asked, sternly & accusingly, "Is it also an English/European thing to bathe with your children?" I guess she noticed that I'd had a bath with the kids that morning, as I'd had no time to have one on my own, as my mom is not the type to offer to take the kids for 5 mins so I can bathe. I said, I'm not sure it's necessarily a European thing, but it may be a generational thing. . .more common among my generation of mums. She said, "Well, it was a big no-no in my generation, so I think you'd better ask a psychiatrist what the thinking is now, because you may be doing damage!"
So I phoned a psychiatrist I'd worked with (in the US) and his response was not as reassuring as I'd hoped. He said that it's very much one of those things that varies from culture to culture, but that he's not a big fan of opposite sex parent-child bathing after the age of 4 or 5, so he recommended that I phase it out as my son is now 6. He says that sexual curiosity starts around then, and that kids pick up more than we realize, and it's just not worth the riskeven if it's a minimal riskof giving your child the sense that a boundary has been crossed. He said it's highly unlikley that bathing with me has damaged him in any way to date, but that it's not impossible that it could have a confusing effect on him at some time in the near future, so he recommended that I stop it.
I have been feeling almost ill with guilt since having that conversation, so it's incredibly reassuring to hear that so many other mumsmums on here that I really respectalso bathe with their sons. Dh has repeatedly reassured me that I've done nothing wrong, and that the psychiatrist's opinion doesn't take into account the individualtiy of our kids and what our kids are used to. I know he's right, but I do feel less easy about the whole thing after my trip to the US! But of course everything is "bad" in America.
Upshot is I'm probably going to phase the group bathing out, but I do feel sad about it, particularly about the implication that there's anything wrong with it at all. (Sorry for the long post!)