How have your toddlers embarrassed you? Tell me I'm not alone....

[We3kingsofOrinocoare]

My 2.6 dd2 had her 18-24 month check the other day (yes late I know!). One HV assessed her, whilst another talked (lectured!) to (at) me.
I overheard some questions the HV was asking my dd:
"Do you know what colour my top is?" "yes, pink" (It was blue - she does know her colours really!)
"Do you know how old you are?" "yes, my 22" (no, just acts it at times)
and then as we were leaving I asked her what she wanted for lunch... "sauce again Mummy"... "what with"... "no, just sauce again Mummy"

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! Tell me you've heard worse...

pmsl!!!!

luckily my ds is only 10 months old, so still got all that to come! lol

my ds who is three announced very loudly in tesco "mummy zacky has a stinky a**e, i think he may have poohed!" i wanted the floor to swallow me up

there is my 3 yo dd with speech delay but who can manage to perfectly form the word tampon

Mine threw a full on wobbly in Asda the other day. He is 4y5m. He was screaming and kicking (tired, bless him!) People had looks of either empathy (other parents of young children) or disgust at me!

My ds 3, told the electrician, who was fairly attractive and young, that mummy and daddy slept in different rooms. How embarrasing he just laughed, . I felt really old and dowdy!!!
He also told my mum that daddy had a winky and mummy didnt in front of her guests!!!

DS1 (aged 2) wandered into our sitting room/lounge/front room/whatever.....I 'aint getting classist here ...during an evening when we'd invited some friends over.....with a pair of my dirty, and I mean dirty - knickers on his head.

Gusset outwards.

oh Bauble sorry to laugh at your pain but thats made my night!!!!!!!

I recently bought myself an alarm clock, nothing too fancy, just a samll size pink round clock with an alarm on it.

DS who is 2 is really taken with this alarm clock. (so much so I wish I'd bought him one now)
Anyway, the other the day the inlaws are visiting, when DS comes in brandishing the clock delcaring "look nana. mummys pink cock" ARGH!!
MIL didn't know where to look, or what to say. Thankfully DH said something along the lines of "oh you mean mummys alarm clock?"

bauble-I needed to laugh like that tonight.!! My 4.5 year old is constantly embarrassing me. Singing "fuck it,fuck it,fuck it" (overheard dh) at the age of 2.5, on the way into nursery one morning-in front of heavily pregnant-potential new nursery user and husband...

lol at these!

dd a few years ago in the toilet of a busy shopping centre said loudly (but thankfully in french!) 'mummy why do you have hair down there?'

so glad for a bilingual education

Last time we moved house, we had a house-warming party. Someone brought us an Ikea lantern as a present - as I thanked her I winced because I knew what was going to happen - sure enough dd1 piped up "Give it to me mummy, I'll put it with the other four!"

I'm pregnant, and we all know how things are a little more, ahem, leaky downstairs at this 'wonderful' time... Anyway, I took ds 2.8 to the ladies loos at the local shopping centre. Sitting on the loo and he says as loud as humanly possible 'oh mummy, you did wees in your pants'. Full disapproving voice as well. I tried to shoosh him, but figured the truth was just as embarrasing... God, where did my dignity go?

DD pointing at an enormous earthworm, spied at a Garden party, and asking very loudly "Is that like the worms I had in my bottom?"

DS pointed at acne ridden shop assistant and asks him why he is at work if he has chicken pox!!

Ds1 needed the toilet while we were out shopping so I took him to Mothercare. They have a child's toilet and an adult's one in the same little room so I thought I might as well go while I was waiting for him. Ds1 only ever sits down on the toilet when he needs a poo (sorry if TMI) and still doesn't understand why girls don't just wee standing up.

So, picture me striding back out through a crowded Mothercare on a busy Saturday afternoon, walking over to where dh was waiting with ds2. Ds1 shouts across the shop:

"Daddy! I did a wee in the toilet. And Mummy had a poo!"

I tried to explain to ds1 that girls have to sit down etc. Big mistake.

"Yes she did, Daddy! Mummy had a poo in the toilet!"

Hi CT!!!

MrsF!

I love this thread! DS1 has dropped a few clangers in his time but the best one I ever heard was from a small boy in the checkout queue in front of me when faced with a cashier with rather a lot of facial hair:
"Are you a lady or a man?" I've never seen a mother pack a carrier bag so quickly...

My neice at her 3rd birthday party was wearing a lovley party frock. Someone commented how pretty it was, She said 'I know, but it's a bitch to iron'

ds did a double-take when he saw a man with his leg amputated above the knee-and I mean real cartoonesque double-take before uttering at top volume "mummy that man's leg has fallen off"

bauble99 I am holding my sides laughing at that one

lol lol

crying with laughter coppertop!!

ROFL at this thread but esp. 'it's a real bitch to iron'. Class!

Dh was upstairs at the weekend trying to get Christmas decorations down. Tripped on the ladder or something, forgot we had guests, and said several major swearwords one after the other. Loud enough for us to hear downstairs. Ds turned to me, in front of said guests, and said: 'Mummy, daddy's saying bugger again.'

Funnily enough bugger was about the only swearword dh hadn't used!

Ds went into a room with Santa (who was sat in a wheelchair) and loudly said;

"Mummy it's not the real Santa"

long pause while I waited for ground to open up and swallowed me.

"...because we just passed him outside the veggie shop".

My sister's youngest used to do this to her all the time. The ones remember vividly is:

In the very busy Boots queue she was playing up and near the counter there was an offer for sanitary towels. She points and says "Ohhh look mummy just like the ones you have in your knicky nacks now, mummy look over there!"