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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

I bought my son a doll

42 replies

Ticklemonster2 · 07/10/2011 21:00

my son is 16 months old and loves trucks and diggers. He has lots of boys toys. He is also really loving and cuddly. Apparently he cuddles the younger babies at nursery.
We would like to have another baby in the next year or so. Given that he shows a lot of care for other babies I had the great idea of buying him a doll( got him baby alive that coos and bounces). He loves it. He put it on his changing mat and fed it a biscuit. Very sweet role play.
I see no harm in it, but my husbands not so sure. Any thoughts?

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MadameJ · 07/10/2011 21:05

Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all, my DD loves diggers and tractors and I don't mind at all. Bless your DS feeding the doll a biscuit, he must be a lovely little boy

Hulababy · 07/10/2011 21:07

Of course there is no harm in it. Lovely for him to look after his baby so well :)

You could ask your DH why he is not so sure. What harm does he think may arise from it? Surely your little boy is just copying the kind of activities his mummy and daddy carry out for him after all.

thisisyesterday · 07/10/2011 21:12

does your husband do anything for his son?

cuddle him? change him? feed him?

if so then you could ask him how come it's ok for him to play with a baby but not for his son to

kelloo1 · 07/10/2011 21:24

nothing wrong with it! my DS is 2.7 and at nursery he plays with the dolls, calls them babys and dresses them, puts them to bed. He also likes dressing up with the girls at his nursery, wearing jewellery and carrying handbags! On the other hand he loves his cars and trucks and other 'boy' things. I don't see anything wrong with it, after all girls play with 'boy' toys too.

TimeWasting · 07/10/2011 21:27

Nothing wrong with it at all. It's great!

Sirzy · 07/10/2011 21:27

DS has a doll, he also has cars and trucks.

I buy him toys he likes rather than sticking to gender sterotypes!

YankNCock · 07/10/2011 21:35

I got DS a doll and a stroller. Nothing at all wrong with it. DS wants to do what ever adults do, he doesn't give a stuff what it is. He wants to cook, wash dishes, run the hoover around, do DIY, play guitar, use the computer, walk the dog, etc etc. Why not pushing a stroller or taking care of a baby?

Sadly I know a couple that have a DS the same age. Their DS was playing with my DS's doll and stroller, and the mum snapped a picture and sent it to the dad. He went nuts, texting her back to 'take that off him right now!'. Poor kid.

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/10/2011 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helpmabob · 07/10/2011 21:38

Of course there is nothing wrong with it. Your dh is being an idiot. God I hate this gender stereotyping. Do we want the men in our lives to help look after the babies, cuddle them, change then etc etc. Then it starts by not just giving the girls role playing toys such as dolls. My ds has a few baby dolls and he even pretended to breast feed it after seeing a mum doing that. Who the fuck cares. And he prefers the pink accessories - shock, horror.

sprinkles77 · 07/10/2011 21:40

Of course there's nothing wrong with it. He's copying his parents nurturing skills. Surely your DH pushes his son in the buggy, feeds him, changes him and kisses and cuddles him? My DS (19 months) had a doll with blinking eyes which he feeds, cuddles, kisses and pushes around in a pink hello kitty buggy. My DH was not impressed at first, but then I pointed out that DS was just copying him he found it fine. though neither of us like the buggy. I wish they did neutral ones

hermioneweasley · 07/10/2011 21:40

THIS WILL TURN YOUR DS GAY!!! Only joking. God, men are so precious, aren't they?

mousymouse · 07/10/2011 21:41

nothing wrong.
nice for him to have the choice.
ds got a doll for his first breakfast, it is still sleeping in his bed (he just started school)

YankNCock · 07/10/2011 21:43

sprinkles, they've got a blue stroller with white spots at ELC, that's what we got. The sales lady said they started making them in blue because so many little boys wanted one but didn't want (or their parents didn't want) pink.

newportstateofmind · 07/10/2011 21:47

I absolutely agree with you!

I got DS a doll for his 2nd birthday. Sounds like he is similar to your DS - very much into trains, trucks and Bob the Builder, but very affectionate towards babies. I wanted him to have the opportunity to play with a doll as well because he loves pushing his cousin's doll around in her buggy. TBH he's not that bothered about it - it stays in his cot with his teddies! But I wanted him to have the opportunity, and don't want him to ever be told that he can't play with or has to play with anything on the basis of gender.

He also loves his kitchen set, when I picked him up from nursery today he was completely absorbed in 'cooking tea'!

naturalbaby · 07/10/2011 21:50

ds1 had a fascination with the baby dolls at toddler groups around this age, ds2 was born when he was 15months and he was a fantastic big brother - always very gentle and kind, no jealousy at all.

ds2 is a different kettle of fish and keeps trying to push/poke/kick/sit on ds3 . he just likes to make a noise and "bash bang!!" all day.

kelloo1 · 07/10/2011 22:00

I agree with the toy kitchen, my DS loves his ('tea ready mummy!') and his hoover. He also takes the babys (any doll or teddy he can find) for walks in his toy shopping trolley. hermioneweasley you made me laugh! It doesn't matter what they play with, it teaches them life skills.

helpmabob · 07/10/2011 22:05

So they make prams in blue so parents of boys don't buy pink. Do people not see the irony in this? FFS who cares what colour, who cares which toy. Its time the toy manufacturers used all the colours in the spectrum and stopped declaring girls are pink, boys are blue. Its a bloody wonder children know their colours when they start school. Society is so pathetic sometimes. I just do not get parents who only want their dcs to have "girly" or "boy" stuff. I despair, I really do.

sprinkles77 · 07/10/2011 22:12

yank i did see a toddler out with that blue one recently. Actually, DS rather likes pink, and loves cats, so pink hello kitty is perfect for him. and he'll probably break it soon anyway the way he keeps crashing it down the stairs making siren noises.

helpmabob, i agree. why is everything blue or pink? What happened to green and brown and yellow etc etc? I actually hate light blue as much as I hate baby pink. boak

Oh, and as to turning them gay....well we all know that's bollocks of course. but when someone's DH brings up that old chestnut, probably best to remind them that it is heterosexual sex that makes babies. and most men pushing buggies are not gay. and so what if DS is gay?

newportstateofmind · 07/10/2011 22:20

What really pisses me off is when you get pink versions of standard toys. As in, megabloks in primary colours.....and then pink megabloks for girls!! When did primary colours become unsuitable for girls??!! Why are people so desperate that everything girls play with MUST be pink??!! And parents then declare that their DD 'will only wear pink'. Is she even aware that other colours exist?!

helpmabob · 07/10/2011 22:21

Those parents have years ahead when their pretty in pink dds will only wear black - aah revenge

YankNCock · 07/10/2011 22:34

I can't stand pink. If I'd had a girl, I would have been steering her towards the blue stroller. DS doesn't care, as long as it has wheels. He pushes a pink pram when he's at the childminder's.

newport, I've been wondering the same thing. Perfectly neutral toys, NOW IN PINK!!!

helpmabob, while I do agree there is some irony there, at least some boys will get a stroller now, rather than being denied because the only option is pink. A step in the right direction, I think. (please note, I wouldn't have denied him a stroller if pink was the only option!)

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/10/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyArmadillo · 07/10/2011 22:40

My 3 year old loves cars, trucks, diggers and trains. One of his most precious possessions is a second hand pink toy pram that he takes to parks and walks into town. I get the odd strange look but I've also seen plenty of other little boys pushing prams. He also has a doll. If anyone says something, even in jest, I ask them if they think there's anything odd with dads pushing prams.

Fixture · 07/10/2011 23:21

Yes, of course it's fine :)

cory · 08/10/2011 12:59

I remember buying a car mat as a present for a friend's dd and her mum looking all shocked and taken aback. Yet this woman drove a car every day and was totally dependent on it, so I don't know what undesirable new messages her dd was supposed to get from rolling a toy car around.

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