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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby Whisperer - 6 week old will not nap even though she is tired

40 replies

HollyHocks25 · 26/07/2011 18:16

Have read the Baby Whisperer and am finding the EASY advice is really working with my little one who is 6 weeks old.

The E A and Y is working well, and even the S is brilliant...once LO goes down!!! t's not the time that she naps, its getting her to fall asleep which is the killer. I can take up to an hour and a half like it did this morning. But once she is down she can sleep for up to an hour and half. Afterwards she is so content. Even if I brought her down to try and sleep with me in the living room or kitchen she is grumpy and cries and cries so i know shes knackered. I have been trying to prevent this by putting her down at the first yawn as suggested in BW but still no good. She just fusses and cries. Eventually she does settle but its a long hard slog.

Any advice on how to settle her??

OP posts:

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noblegiraffe · 26/07/2011 18:21

At 6 weeks old I would say rocking, cuddling and feeding will all work well :)

I found the Baby Whisperer to be rubbish, it was never EA, it was always ESA.

sedgiebaby · 26/07/2011 18:22

Try white noise and shortening her awake time a little - before any yawns start the 4's thing. Once mine yawns it is already too late!

sedgiebaby · 26/07/2011 18:23

EASY worked well for me at 6 wks, overtired/over stimulated can be a problem when it comes to settling to sleep

needtoexercise · 26/07/2011 19:33

Hi, have you tried putting her down slightly earlier? I found my DDs took AGES to get to sleep if they were overtired. My youngest could only manage to stay awake for about an hour at that age :)

RitaMorgan · 26/07/2011 19:45

Do you have a sling? I found popping ds in a sling and walking around was great to get him to sleep at this age. Also rocked him to sleep a lot, or went to bed with him in my bed.

theidsalright · 27/07/2011 13:33

step away from the book!! quick! you will drive yourself MAD. your baby is ONLY 6 WEEKS!

Octaviapink · 27/07/2011 14:21

Feed her to sleep. If babies don't eat before they sleep, they find it hard to get to sleep because they're hungry! There are dozens of threads on here agreeing that the Baby Whisperer doesn't know what she's talking about.

Also agree with RitaMorgan and theidsalright - throw away the book and keep your baby with you in a sling. You will make your life MUCH easier immediately!

Kiwiinkits · 27/07/2011 21:52

You'll probably get a few people like theidsalright who will tell you not to use the book, but stick with it because it really works. Feeding to sleep creates all sorts of sleep cue / association problems down the track so I wouldn't go down that route.

Have you tried a dummy? I found my DD was a really sucky baby and loved her dummy. Also are you swaddling?

ledkr · 27/07/2011 22:10

I pushed the pram to get her to sleep and then gradually reduced it by stopping rocking as she was going to sleep and doing this earlier and earlier every day.she is 5.5 months now and soes off a treat.
The feed to sleep was tricky for me cos she had reflux and a cleft palate so couldnt be put down for ages after but she now goes down no probs and self settles using the baby whisperer re training technique after her reflux was controlled by meds,i like the bw,its simple and child/parent friendly but each child is different,i also like the sling idea,dd used to sleep well in it and i could get on with drinking tea and watching tv jobs.

AngelDog · 27/07/2011 23:10

Agree with Octavia, Rita and theid. DS was a terrible sleeper while I tried to use the Baby Whisperer ideas on him. He just wouldn't nap, or took 2 hours to get to sleep each time. Yawning doesn't necessarily indicate tiredness either - DS showed the classic signs of being tired about 45 mins before he was actually ready to go to sleep.

Once I gave up trying to follow her method and just used the sling / fed him to sleep, he slept much, much better - and I completely saved my sanity.

Feeding/rocking/whatever to sleep is only a problem if it causes you a problem. I think it's great myself, but DS didn't start feeding to sleep till he was about 10 weeks and by then I was completely desperate with sleep deprivation & exhaustion. :)

noblegiraffe · 28/07/2011 09:04

What Kiwiinkits means is 'Baby Whisperer really worked for my child'. They are all different. Baby Whisperer didn't have a chance on mine. It took me a few weeks to realise that my child would not fall asleep when he was tired. He hated falling asleep. He would have to be forced to sleep by feeding or violent rocking, otherwise he would get increasingly more miserable and whiney.

I remember being out at baby groups looking in astonishment at children gently nodding off on their mother's laps just from being held, and being told of them falling asleep on their playmats or whatever. Mine was a sleep fighter.

Original poster

HollyHocks25 · 28/07/2011 10:22

Hi all,

Thanks for the advice. It just seems that she gets overtired so incredibly quickly. One second content and the next fussing and suddenly screaming from being overtired. Even rocking, singing, bringing her down out of her room, keeping her in my arms - nothing works. I am literally at my wits end because I feel like everyday I am fighting the same fight.

She does loves the baby sling but only until she gets tired again, and then she starts to fuss. Cue - we play the nap game all over again.

Also - Have tried a dummy. It does soothe her EVENTUALLY once she has stopped screaming.

She is def a sleep fighter, I'm just hoping this is a phase??

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 28/07/2011 10:26

How long is she awake for before the fussing starts? Is she breastfed?

RobynLou · 28/07/2011 10:26

DD2 fights naps, DD1 never did, though she didn't self settle till over a year, she'd always go to sleep easily with a little help.

with DD2, she doesn't really get upset about hunger, just tiredness. She lives in a wrap and sucks my finger while I jiggle her, eventually she gives in....

EauRouge · 28/07/2011 10:32

How often is she feeding? Does she get much wind? Careful with a dummy if you are BF, some mothers find they can interfere with BF- www.kellymom.com/bf/start/concerns/pacifier.html.

I'm another one voting for ditch the book, I'm afraid Babies grow so fast and change every day, some days they sleep more, some days they eat more- you may go nuts trying to get your DD to do the same thing every day.

kenobi · 28/07/2011 10:37

I loved the Babywhisperer and it really helped me but you know what? She's only 6 weeks old. Get her to sleep any way you can. This will NOT affect her sleeping patterns as an older baby - they don't code (remember) anything for the first couple of months anyway. Hug her, sling her, walk her. It will make no difference.

Once you have a good few naps in her and she's a bit older then you can start looking at EASY. Also Secrets Of The BW explicitly says that you can't do EASY on an overtired baby, so get her down quicker. www.babywhispererforums.com/ is a brilliant site with average timings for people doing EASY

Original poster

HollyHocks25 · 28/07/2011 10:49

That's the thing RitaMorgan, she is only awake for about 30mins before she starts to show signs of tiredness so I feel like I am spending my life trying to get her to sleep. Yes, she is breastfed and doing brilliantly.

I just this second got her to sleep in my arms, and had put her down, now not 2 minutes later she is screaming!! She WILL NOT be put down!! I honestly don't know what to do! She won't even go down in her push chair for a walk!! So I feel like I'm house bound the whole time!

The book was only bought to try and help me with this nap problem!!

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 28/07/2011 10:55

OK, I know BW doesn't approve of this but - babies are designed to fall asleep at the breast, and in the early weeks the boob does seem to fix most problems. If you try feeding her when she fusses will she not fall asleep then?

New babies do need to be held a lot too - I spent many arms watching TV while ds napped in my arms. Also took him to bed with me and napped as well. What kind of sling do you have, is it comfy enough for her to sleep in? A good tip I had was that if you want to put a sleeping baby down you have to hold them til they are really asleep, about 20 minutes in - check her arms and legs are limp and then lower her down gently with your whole body onto warm sheets. You might need to keep leaning over her, pressed against her in the cot/basket for a few minutes before you can safely let go!

sedgiebaby · 28/07/2011 10:57

How many hours sleep is she getting in 24 hours maybe she is chronically overtired and fighting going down for sleeps.

Hold her for 5-7 minutes before putting her down so she is sound asleep and you can get your hands free to shower and go to the loo! You could try two rolled up towels in a half moon under her sheet (cocoon her body, but no higher than arm pit), they do this in hospital to make a normal cot smaller for small babies, also try to swaddle her. Use white noise. If this does not work, go with what kenobi says, it will get better...

EauRouge · 28/07/2011 10:59

Rita is right, you might find this useful. I know the early days are tough but it doesn't last. Is there a BF support group you can go to, they might have some ideas on how you can get your DD to sleep?

RitaMorgan · 28/07/2011 11:02

Many hours watching TV not arms

kenobi · 28/07/2011 11:08

Holly - your baby is completely normal.

Newborns (and 6 wks is still pretty newborn) have spent 9 months in the womb being held. Not being held is not what they want. Just suck it up - honestly, they do start sleeping without needing to be held, regardless of what happens at this stage. It wont last forever. Also only being awake for 30 minutes is fiiiiine, I couldn't get over how much sleep they need in the early days. Don't forget that feeding is awake time - DD used to bf for 55 mins, then want to go to sleep after about 10 mins of staring at me, the lights or the ceiling. I couldn't get over that.

I'm pg with number 2 and I'm going to let him/her sleep any old how until about 12 weeks.

kenobi · 28/07/2011 11:10

Sorry if I sound militant but I could have written your thread 2 years ago and I wish I hadn't tried so hard and had just accepted how much newborns need to be held. It all changed around 3-4 months, when DD accepted being put into her cot quite naturally.

Original poster

HollyHocks25 · 28/07/2011 11:19

Hi all,

I think you are right! She does fall asleep in the baby bjorn but as soon s i put her down so i can shower of pee or make a cuppa she screams, even if i am sure she is sound asleep. Maybe I am not keeping her with me for long enough though. I have to admit that I haven't been holding her for 20 mins before putting her down so maybe I need to wait longer to make sure she is in a deep sleep.

I think I am finding it even more difficult because I have a fab NCT group but one of the girls has her baby in a really great routine. But I have tried and tried and its just not working for my little one.

I know it won;t last forever, but boy oh boy it seems like an eternity when you hear her heartfelt screams for an hour and a half!!! Breaks my heart.

Thanks for the advice all. Wish me luck...keep the suggestions coming if there is anything else. I'm open to all suggestions x

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 28/07/2011 11:48

Try not to compare babies - they are all so different! My ds got himself into a routine at around 4 or 5 months, and nowadays you could set a clock by him, he self settles no problem. I didn't even try to get him to nap in a cot til he was 5 months old, fed him to sleep, carried him constantly. I have to wake him up from his naps now My friend's baby has never had a routine, terrible daytime napper but sleeps 13+ hours at night (my ds does 10.5 and seems to think 6am is a lie-in ). Another friend had her dd in a strict routine from about day 3, worked for them but required far too much effort and crying for me.

Right now, I would just do whatever works. If it stops working in the future, change it then. Whether you get a baby who thrives on routine or who needs a lot of holding and carrying is mostly luck!

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