Baby Whisperer - 6 week old will not nap even though she is tired

[HollyHocks25]

Have read the Baby Whisperer and am finding the EASY advice is really working with my little one who is 6 weeks old.

The E A and Y is working well, and even the S is brilliant...once LO goes down!!! t's not the time that she naps, its getting her to fall asleep which is the killer. I can take up to an hour and a half like it did this morning. But once she is down she can sleep for up to an hour and half. Afterwards she is so content. Even if I brought her down to try and sleep with me in the living room or kitchen she is grumpy and cries and cries so i know shes knackered. I have been trying to prevent this by putting her down at the first yawn as suggested in BW but still no good. She just fusses and cries. Eventually she does settle but its a long hard slog.

Any advice on how to settle her??

ah see I just never put DD2 down... in the day she's in the sling, in the evening shes in my arms and at night she's in our bed!

I've never looked at a baby book so don't know about that bit, but at 6 weeks I just do whatever keeps everyone the calmest for the longest, if that means no shower till DH is home the so be it, making a cuppa can def be done with DD in the sling and weeing can be done with them still in the sling too, just don't flush unless you have to - too noisy!

I'd consider getting a stretchy wrap, so so much more comfortable and v easy to use. I don't know how I'd cope with a not-put-downable baby without it. look up moby wraps.

Rita and Robyn are right. Don't worry about creating bad habits or sleep associations - your baby's brain literally can't make those associations at the moment - all she needs is physical contact.

Also, get into the habit of ignoring what babies at your NCT group do, becuase babies generally behave completely differently when they're out and about than they would at home...

and people often say lo's in such and such routine and it works really well, but working really well might mean something different to you...

I was v jealous of sil with her bedtime routine which apparently meant their DD went to sleep on her own, they just put her to bed, read a story and left her 'to doze off' they then came to stay with us and we realised dozing off to them meant the child crying for half an hour before going to sleep...

I think DD2 would be quite happy in a strict routine but then I think DD2 would be quite happy if I left her in the woods to be raised by wolves- she's that kind of baby. DD1 on the other hand would be bloody miserable if I tried to get her into a routine. They are all different and yes, parents' interpretations and expectations are different as well so don't worry about what everyone else says they are doing.

Stretchy wraps are infinitely better than baby bjorn type carriers, much more comfy for you and DD. You can get really cheap second hand ones on ebay or you can just make your own, they are really just a long bit of fabric.

Yep, your NCT friend probably has an 'angel baby' Holly and if you're a BW fan you'll know that's only about 1 in 5! You can do anything with an angel - routine, no routine, they just take it all on the chin.

And don't forget that sleeping through the night = 6 hours so don't give it a second thought if people are smug about that. DD 'slept through the night' from 4 weeks. And screamed the other 18 hours! Ok she wasn't that bad but she wasn't a happy baby either and I should have just held her and held her instead of fannying around with patting and what not.

Agree that you should do what you need to do and not stress too much: kenobi's right, you may not have an angel baby!

One other suggestion, other than swaddling in stretchy fabric, is actually to use a hammock instead of a moses basket or crib. Hammocks are wonderful gentle ways to sleep. At least my baby loved it. They're called NatureSway in NA but I think they're called ambi swing or something like that in the UK.
Good luck sweety, just do your best.

Like this: www.naturessway.co.nz/

Um, last advice, do you know all the tired signs? Yawns are the last tired sign to show.

For little babies like yours they include:
kicking vigorously and jerky motions with arms
touching ears or rubbing eyes
whining
if having tummy time, not attempting to raise head

I'd agree with Kiwiinkits about the hammock. Our Nature's Nest was utterly fantastic - you can simply bounce them rather than having to walk around and rock.

you see, the BW gets everyone a bit emotive! people have been very helpful here!

I said to leave the book because personally it drove me insane. I felt insecure not knowing what I was doing right/wrong and the BW told me very clearly that I was wrong to begin with and then simply that I was failing (because DS didn't do as the book said). There are no instructions. Every baby is different.

I found my tricot slen wrap sling fantastic but not until DS was about 12 weeks. Prior to that I drove myself to the edge-of-wanting-to-run-away trying to get him to sleep by "the instructions". Even then I had to sing songs, walk around the house, but at least I got to drink tea/go on MN/phone people, have a rest myself. I also fed to sleep and just sat there/slept for the hour or two, having learned that trying to put him down was futile.

He DID not learn "bad habits" nor did I make a rod for my back. We worked it out in our own time using trial and error and much less gnashing of teeth than when following a book.....

I am sure your NCT friends are lovely but in my experience, there will be a LOT of bullshitting going on right now (about how happy they are, about sleeping through, etc etc), that everyone will admit the truth about when the babies are between 9-12months old....

I read this book and got myself in such a state! I was also using the forum for advice, but nothing worked with my DS, now 7.5 months old. I felt like a failure because he would cry so much and people were telling me I was doing it all wrong. Some babies do conform to the BW routine, others, like mine don't. Only after 6 months did he start having more than 30 minute naps, and I put that down to him having a full tummy now he's on solids. I really tried to keep up with the BW but I wish I had just fed him to sleep now! As others have said, you do what you want to and sometimes it does mean feeding to sleep, holding, walking, rocking - you will look back on those moments later on and cherish them.

We used a rolled up towel in DS crib when he was tiny. We do this for premmie babies in hospital. Being in the womb is cramped and babies feel safe with boundaries. Even a rolled towel at the bottom for her to push her feet against will work. Tuck her arms into her body and let her feel her hands with her mouth. Also try swaddling - no need for a special blanket. We use a soft sheet with one corner turned down - easier and safer to layer sheets and blankets depending on temperature. You can also swaddle her then hold her and its easier to put her down once she is asleep. Another calming 'trick' is skin to skin contact. When its warm she can just wear a nappy and you can put her 'up' your top, and just use your body heat and top to keep her warm, try feeding at the same time, you might have to get used to being slept on.

If it was late afternoon, I used to go up to bed, lie down and feed him and we'd both have a nap, I miss that now as he now does not fall asleep whilst feeding! My DS is proof that eventually they learn how to go to sleep, albeit a massive 6 month learning curve for both of us! I can now put him down in his cot and leave him to just go to sleep on his own - no sleep associations!

DS still cannot last for a whole stay and play session, and he will not fall asleep in my arms, he still fights sleep in this situation. Some babies just don't want to go to sleep! Good luck and keep your chin up xx

he he. My baby is JUST like this! She's 10 weeks now and seems to go mental with overtiredness only an hour (Or less) from when she last woke up. I've been reading too many books also. She screams blue murder the longer she's awake from then and is hellishly hard to settle. Baby Bjorn best method so far, but only if you keep walking and then don't take her off the whole time she's asleep. I never know if to feed her when she wakes though. She'll sleep 30 - 45 mins and then be awake again and then we go through the whole sleep fighting again. If I then feed her to sleep and cuddle her she'll stay so deep asleep we could stay on the sofa rest of day. With a 2 year old, this is not feasable! Wish I could help her settle in cot or pram in day. Oh well. Good luck to all those with sleep fighters. Watch for a yawn....! Yeah right, mine loses it in seconds happy to crazy tired in a blink.

RitaMorgan is right (as always)! Hold your baby, feed your baby and do whatever you feel your baby needs. Don't worry about what you feel you should be doing.

I did the EASY routine when DS was six weeks too. Getting him down for a nap was always a bit of a challenge but I found that rocking him one hand under bottom one hand back of head/back with a lifting motion and a constant shooooosh sound seemed to work. You've got to hold him away from your body to do it that way when you put them down they don't miss mummy's warmth. Keep shooshing noise going when you put baby down and all the way out the bedroom door :)