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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

when will she be happy again? No more bottles

73 replies

BeeMyBaby · 21/06/2011 06:55

On Sunday we decided to take away DD's (16months) bottles as she can drink water fine from a sippy cup or straw and was just refusing to drink milk from them. We are now on day 3 of miserable baby at milk times and she is taking in about 100ml of milk a day instead of about 500ml - she does seem to be replacing the calories with food though. For those who took the tough approach (after I had been too lenient) when did your child cheer up and drink their milk without screaming in horror at the sight of no bottle? She even tried to wrestle her cousin for her transition bottle yesterday (which incidentally I had previously tried with her and she refused).

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mrsravelstein · 21/06/2011 07:04

the bottle is a comfort item for LOTS of children, so probably quite a long time. she's only tiny, why not just let her have it back rather than making everyone's life a misery? there have been lots of threads on here in the past, lots of kids still have a bottle of milk until considerably older than 16 months without any ill effects.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/06/2011 07:07

My 3.5yo has just given up the bottle of her own free will after it being her major comfort item. I used to stress about it then decided to leave it up to her as I would never try to take away a blanket or bear etc. I'm very glad I did it this way, no stress for her at all and I would do it again.

PegPolkadot · 21/06/2011 07:10

My DS3 will only have milk from a bottle as it is obviously a comfort thing - he is 20 months. Every now and then I try him with a sippy cup but cries for his bottle. At the moment I am just being relaxed about it but hope he is not doing it at 3. I would definitely start taking a harder approach then as he can be reasoned with but not now (plus he is my last baby- my first was off them by 18 months

inmysparetime · 21/06/2011 07:30

Don't give it back now, you'll lose credibility and she'll kick off every time you try anything thinking that's how to get round you. At that age a few weeks is a long time and she'll be over it pretty soon ( then you'll be battling over something else!) The trouble with labelling everything "only a stage " is that you just seem to spend your life lurching from one stage to another!
Seriously, well done ditching the bottle, they are a really unhygienic comfort object once they get chewed.

4madboys · 21/06/2011 07:42

my ds4 who is 3 still has one bottle of 5oz before bed, i dont see the big deal, two of my children bfed until nearl.y 4 yrs! its the same thing, a comfort, tbh if she is really upset i also would let her have it, but give her less milk, she doesnt need 500ml, i think they say 12oz a day once over one? :)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/06/2011 07:44

Yes because raggy old sucked and chewed bears and blankets are really hygienic...

Original poster

BeeMyBaby · 21/06/2011 07:44

I really don't want to give in as then the three days of miserable baby milk time will have been for nothing, she never had a dummy or any other comforter and is only now starting to get interested in cuddly toys - do you think if I found her a really lovely soft toy that would take her mind off it?

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 21/06/2011 07:53

My son has no comfort objects beyond his dummy, his bottle and his eyelashes. He has no soft toy or blanket he cuddles.

He is 2. I am not taking those things away just because some book or, even worse, some HV says I should.

Why let her be miserable when you can fix her misery in 2 seconds flat?

mrsravelstein · 21/06/2011 08:50

i really wouldn't worry about 'losing credibility' with a 16 month old, either

blindmansmuff · 21/06/2011 08:59

She likes her bottle so give it to her. What harm is it doing?

DS is nearly 2 and loves to snuggle on my lap his with his bottle and I have never dreamed of denying it him.

mrsravelstein · 21/06/2011 09:05

"miserable baby milk time will have been for nothing"

it won't have been for nothing, it has shown you that she isn't anywhere near ready to give up her comforter yet and you could possibly try a more gradual gentle transition in a few weeks/months time instead.

ItDoesntBodenWell · 21/06/2011 09:11

Yes I dont think at 16 months she be storing this up and remembering how to get round you
I would just let her have the bottle back. Presumably she's just down to a bedtime milk now anyway? One bottle a day would be fine surely. My DD1 would never take milk from a cup, eventually stopped offering her bedtime milk after forgetting it one night and none of us noticing, she had it if she asked for it for a few weeks but it was soon completely forgotten about - that was at about 2.5.

BirdyBedtime · 21/06/2011 13:16

Agree with posters above that 16 months is early to stop bottles all together if it's making her miserable. My DS is now 2.6 and still gets one bottle at night. It's the only way other than cereal to get milk into him as he point blank refuses milk at any other time. DD stopped her bottles herself before the age of 1 (but drinks milk no problem from a cup and always has done) so each child is different. We did toy with trying to stop DSs night time bottle around 2 but actually we both love reading a story then cuddling up with a bottle. He can have it as long as he wants as far as I am concerned (and we always brush his teeth after, even if he is asleep!)

Owlingate · 21/06/2011 13:19

I changed DC1 completely over to cups at 18 months. He hated us all day for about 1 week and then forgot he'd ever had a bottle.

I'm sure you are actually supposed to drop the bottle for the sake of their teeth, don't be too harsh on the OP.

angel1976 · 21/06/2011 13:30

My 3.4 DS1 just gave up his bottle by himself and willingly. I just said to him one day that he is a big boy now and doesn't need a bottle. And he can drink from milk from a big boy's cup and straw. He drank it from the cup that night. I gave him a bottle the next day, he took it, drank it for 2 seconds and quickly said he is a big boy now and wants his milk in a cup! He's been drinking from a cup and straw since with no drama.

I would wait for them to give up naturally. I can't believe how easily he did it as well. And it did DS1's teeth no harm (only had milk in the morning and night and I never let him keep a bottle in his mouth once he finishes) either.

ppeatfruit · 21/06/2011 13:39

I don't understand why DCs are not meant to have feelings you wouldn't take away yr cup of tea or whatever for an odd reason, L.Os need to suck for comfort.

ToysRLuv · 21/06/2011 13:41

DS gave up milk (in bottles and cups) completely at 17 months. Before that he would maybe have 20 mils at bed time (so not a sudden change). Now he eats a lot of cheese, yoghurt and ice cream (as a treat). That covers his need for calcium perfectly. At this age they only need the equivalent of 200 mils of milk. So, there is no automatic need for a toddler to have "milk time".

MmeLindor. · 21/06/2011 13:43

Sorry, but I agree with the others that you are making a problem where there is none.

My DD was much older when she gave up her bottle and it was not a problem to do so. She went from wanting a bottle to not needing it in one day.

Your DD is not old enough yet to learn that she has to scream to get what she wants - not from one incident. If you constantly did this then it would not be good, but as a one-off.

Are you being pressured by someone to get her off bottles? 16 mths is still quite young.

Buda · 21/06/2011 13:48

16 months is young to take her bottles away if they are a comfort. DS was almost 4 when he stopped his! I was quite confident that he wouldn't still be on bottles starting secondary so didn't stress about his bottle every morning and evening. The Xmas he was 3 he gave his bottles to Father Christmas. Was a bit sad for a few days after but not for long.

He is now nearly 10 and still has certain items that comfort him. A particular pillow bought at a service station is the current one.

Original poster

BeeMyBaby · 21/06/2011 14:17

In no way are we denying her milk, just denying her a bottle - she tended to drink about 500ml of milk a day, at various times in the day, and often refused meals in favour of milk and I think therefore is quite slim. Since Sunday she is eating alot better which obviously is good. We have been trying to get her to drink out of different types of cups since she was 10 months old. I am also terrified about her teeth and although we brush them twice a day, her back teeth have just come through so I (and my family) felt it was time to take her bottles away. I am also expecting DC2 in November, so wanted to get her away from bottles now as I know it would be much harder later. Incidently I plan to avoid bottles at all cost with DC2.
Owlingate thank you for answering my original question, I will wait a week and report back.

OP posts:

MmeLindor. · 21/06/2011 14:21

Why are you intending not to give your baby bottles at all? Do you mean you wish to BF?

I think you are worrying too much about her teeth. Truly. So many children have a bottle till much later than 16 months.

Ok, don't give her a bottle throughout the day, but one in the morning or in the evening before bedtime is not going to make her teeth rot.

Original poster

BeeMyBaby · 21/06/2011 14:36

Yes I do intend to BF, I BF DD but had to back to work when she was 4 months old for financial reasons, so she had to be given a bottle.

I've read many dummy threads, which all said go cold turkey, surely the bottle is the same principle?

OP posts:

Henrythehappyhelicopter · 21/06/2011 14:49

Three DC's all gave up the bottle of their own free will between 2 and 3.

They probably only had it at bedtime for the last few months.

Cannot see the point of making a child unhappy, and in turn making everyone else unhappy.

Tee2072 · 21/06/2011 14:56

I also don't agree about giving up dummies this early, for what it's worth.

If it comforts your child, then they should be allowed it, IMHO. Especially if, like mine, they have no other comfort object.

JollyBear · 21/06/2011 14:56

OP I stopped DD having a bottle when she went onto cow's milk at 12 months. I was worried about her teeth. She was fine after a couple of days. Have you tried a nuby cup?

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