Support thread for speech and laguage delay toddlers...

[Orangeflower7]

Hi, I have a little boy of 2.5 and we have just today had our first speech and language referral appointment as he is not saying many words yet. I thought maybe other parents might be in the same position and would like to share experiences for support?

It took a few weeks for the appointment, which we were referred to by the health visitor. The therapist told us he has a moderate language delay and has given us ideas of some signs to use with him, she has advised us to keep language clear and simple and we will get a place at a toddler group run by speech and language therapists who will observe and support us. Not sure how long that will take as they only have 6 children in a group but there is an option we can go to the next town if necessary. He also had his hearing tested by the hospital audiologist last week and they said his hearing was fine.

I am one of you moms in similar position or maybe worse. my son is 2.7 now and I can only understand him counting from 1 to 10.he does not do much eye contact,he does not point things,he use others fingers to do the things he wants. mostly he plays on his own.recently he started to play catch me with his sister(6) which he quite enjoys.he is normally happy child,does not have tantrums when he could not do or get something.he just leaves it there and does something else.
we first started with a speech and therapy session in a childrens centre.the therapist there referred us to hearing test and cdc.we passed the test which I was not worried about hearing. Then received letter from cdc for review.there were 2 therapists there,one talked to me other played with him.she asked me about him and then they told me he needs to be seen by doctors and might need further assesments.its been a month now and still waiting for the doctors check.we attended two speech therapy group sessions which will be 6 total.there are 5 kids total and parents and 2 therapists.in 30 min time they advice parents and watch kids.I am not sure if that would work because the advise is not much different from what I can find on internet.sit at the same level,do what he does,copy his sounds,etc.I am planning to go abroad and have a private doctor control there because I believe earlier is better.there is a very long nhs list and this will affect all his life.
I have read most of the comments here and I am surprised how many people sharing same problems and same thoughts and worries. I am fed up people around me telling not to worry,he is normal.I can see other kids,also younger ones who are much developed than him.and it makes me really upset and I cant stop thinking about the difference will be more when he grows up.his sister is absolutely fine.and it is hard to expain her why her brother is not speaking like friends brothers or sisters.although nothing is diagnosed at the moment I had some searches and slightly know what to expect.but I still want to believe he will be like others soon

a WOW card is just a little postcard size card saying;

"WOW did you know I can.. (something dd/ds can do) ".
Or

"WOW i can now ..."

Or

"WOW, today I ..."

and then the date, so we have a record.

We use them for new words, or signs or things like "point to a cow in a picture" or dd sat down for dinner, or played nicely, etc.

Then we stick them on the fridge or the hall door.

Whilst the worry remains, one thing I'd like to say to many parents who have hit the two and bit age with their child only saying a very few words is - early intervention. Their brains are at their most plastic (ie, you can mould them their most) before the age of three. Of course their brains continue to develop after this and SALT continues to be hugely valuable, but the more you can do now the better. Get the Laura Mize DVDs and any other tools you can and do the exercises at home after every meal if possible. When we first started our fears of ASD and learning difficulties were huge. Now, while they are still there, they are much diminished. Yesterday, after 7 months of SALT, DS put four words together. He often puts three together. Now has the concepts of peoples names, colours, mine / I / me, taking turns, please / thank you. I really do believe if we hadn't done the SALT we'd have not achieved nearly so much and we'd even more anxious than we are.

The exercises are slightly different if your DC isn't understanding / processing audiological information (which is different to not hearing it - sometimes they hear it but their brain doesn't seem to know what to do with the speech sounds). You need to start by teaching them to listen. It's well worth getting a speech assessment and asking the speech therapist what to do at home if you can.

I don't deny it's increadibly hard work, often frustrating and exhausting. But the progress we saw kept us motivated. We also asked others to help and trained them up to do some sessions. So many people were willing. Once people really get what's going on they're often delighted to help. True, a lot of people don't really get it and say insensitive things, but there are some true rocks out there.

Thanks for that encouragement cjn, it is hard at the moment and I often feel like we are putting so much effort into it and nothing is happening, I am the kind of person who will throw eveything and every possible effort at a problem in life but also expect to get some results NOW (impatient really!). This is obviously a situation where long-perm perseverance, doggedness and calmness are better virtues than frantic action (which is my usual mode when faced with something that needs changing), and I'm not too good at that!

I suppose I also sometimes look at other people who clearly put no special effort at all into getting their DCs to talk, it just happened automatically, and the children are chatting away so sweetly, and I feel upset, I can't help it. Then I tell myself that there re many many worse things that can happen than to have a speech delayed (or even developmentally delayed) child, and I should be grateful that I have a lovely little boy, however different he may be from some other children.

PS I resolve now to stop moaning about how hard it all is!

"responding briefly to No and then going right back to doing whatever she was doing! My DS is the same and he has developed a total overriding and (to me) irrational passion recently for climbing up"

sorry to keep butting in. DS2's ongoing immaturity in his social skills at nearly 6 keeps me interested. It takes a few years to decompress even after your child (finally) learns good language.

dudesmummy, I'm wondering if it's the right time for you to build a sensory profile into your observations of your DS. I'm saying this because it may help you target what you're doing more yet also help you to continue to enjoy your DS by understanding why he does certain things.

Everyone has a sensory profile- you know how some people can't abide nails on blackboards but others aren't bothered, and some people hate light ticklish stroking but others love it? Different people's brains interpret light stroking in different ways. These are called sensory preferences. It's common for little children to have quite unbalanced sensory preferences - it's partly why so many of them are terrified of hoovers and hand-dryers - and children with late language often have unbalanced sensory preferences. What our brains aim to achieve is "sensory integration". It is possible that your little boy's body just doesn't "feel right" unless he has that satisfying movement from sensations like climbing. So you might need to consider aiming for the kind of exercise where he has to run across the room to pick something up then climb over the sofa to bring it back to you (I think the Laura Mize DVD will show you good illustrations of this). Or on the other hand I could be barking up completely the wrong tree!

A book that it not too scary is "Sensory Integration and the Child" though I must admit the author does have an obsession with one particular label ("sensory processing disorder" or something like that - I skipped that chapter because I'd almost completely lost interest in finding labels by that stage). Alternative, "More than Words" gets straight down to business on this topic.

see books.google.com/books/about/Sensory_integration_and_the_child.html?id=-7NeFNFswo0C

Ds2 outgrew his unbalanced sensory preferences. However, my failure to recognise some of them (his oversensitive hearing) meant that I responded inappropriately to his fear of hand-dryers. He still has to wear ear defenders to go into public toilets even today - my inappropriate response meant that the sensory preference gave rise to a phobia which continues to this day even now the senses have balanced themselves out.

dudesmummy my dd also went through a phase where she got terribly upset at people saying 'bye bye', like you said people literally snuck out of the house. She is much better now and has just started (last few months) to say bye bye back to people and wave too. She is also a climber, we had to 'anchor' our tv to the back of our (quite nice and expensive!) wooden tv unit after we found her standing on top of it a couple of times! Only today she fell off the arm of the sofa in my brothers house after climbing up onto it. Luckily not too far to the ground tho.
Thinking about it, my dd responds quite well to input from the tv, have to have a look at some of the DVDs that have been recommended. Has anybody used the BumbleBee DVDs from USA? I have seen them on their website and they have lots of recommendations mostly from USA but they are quite expensive. Willing to fork out tho if people can honestly say its worth it.

I've got the entire BumbleBee libary!? They were great and we'd tie in what we were doing in our SALT sessions at home with what watching (we're still using numbers and some others). They have matching flash cards that are helpful. You can do 'posting' games. Get a postbox toy, or in our case an old shoe box, but a hole in it and decorate accordingly, lay out two cards and say 'put the x in the box'. When he puts the right one in, give lot of praise. The Sookie and Finn DVD also have flash cards which you can use (nouns and verbs). After a while, once they shown they understand the word, you can start holding a single card up and ask 'what he doing'.

Other good games include:

• Get a teddy or doll, cup, hair brush, tooth brush, sponge, spoon, blanket (anything really) and say 'teddy brushing teeth' or 'teddy jumping'. Demonstrate doing pretend play and getting teddy to do whatever it is. Once they've got the idea, they'll do it. This way you can gauge what they're understanding.

-Get a my potato head, ask them to attach parts. This way they learn body parts.

• We painted a body on a bit of card, then cut out felt clothing items and asked DS to put various clothes on (giving a choice of two at first, then three and so on).

• For moods, we're currently using an ELC game and a book which has story and matching facial exporessions (Happy Face). Again just say 'where's happy face?)

We began on much more basic things. Four pictures on a page, and saying 'where's the dog'. It took a week of asking for the same picture on each page over and over again after every meal and bribes of chocolate drops for him to get it. Then we would ask for other things on the page, then make it more random. In two weeks he could understand about 24 new words (not say them, but it didn't take much longer).

We're now, after 7 months, on more complex games to get him to put 3+ words together.

Another helpful thing to keep motivation going, is have special toys for these games that are shut away at other time. And go to a dedicate spot for them. We got a mini Ikea table and chairs we sat at.

If anyone else has some SALT games they found useful it'd be great to know about them.

Thanks cjn, we have a very helpful SALT and she has given us lots of the things you mention. Dd did very well at the matching objects to pictures but we have moved on from that now and trying the 'where is the ...?' games to try and get her to identify the correct objects. Hit and miss there at the moment but keeping at it!!
Somebody mentioned earlier in the thread about turn-taking and the game our SALT used with the most success was 'Pop up Pirate'. Took a few go's but dd really grasped the 'wait' and 'Mammy's turn' or 'Wendy (SALT) turn'. After a few sessions she was happily waiting her turn with three of us in the game and we have also transferred the 'Wait' concept to other areas of life.

Does anyone else's DC just say random words that don't fit what's going on at all?

I find it a bit odd, but assume DS is just trying out vocab or something? At the moment we seem to get farm animals mentioned a lot, and not in context of anything remotely related...

CJN- perhaps DS is trying them out? To work out what context the word is used in?

I think I would be only too delighted to get random "words" cjn, my DS is saying a lot at the moment but its basically random sounds not words and we don't know what he means. The latest is "IGA! IGA!" said extremely clearly and with much emphasis, clearly trying to communicate something but we don't know what. Very frustrating all round.

Your SALT game ideas sound good but we are not at that stage yet, they would be a bit advanced for my DS, flash cards he would probably just chew (although I have ordered the Sookie and Finn cards anyway to see what happens, as he does stop running and climbing, and sit dead still when we put Sookie and Finn on, so something there is catching his attention). I did get him a special little chair and table but all he will do is continually try to stand on the table so we had to take it away.

We have taken your advice in a way about putting away toys to only be brought out at special times. DS has his own playroom and it had all his toys and books in it, but wh he was there all he wanted to do most of the time was to pile up things so as to get onto the shelf/ into the box to get whatever things we were not playing with at that moment (and the minute he got something down, he would lose interest in it and climb up again to get something else). We have moved everything out and put them in another room, and will only bring a few toys/books in at a time to try and get him to pay better attention. Seems to be working a little so far.

dudesmummy We had similar issues with DS, the SALT toys went into an Ikea lockable cupboard next to his little table and chair. We took out what was relevant for each 'game' as we did it. The table and chair were positioned against the corner wall so he couldn't get out very easily IYSWIM.

He also did, and still does, a lot of 'talking scribble' as we call it. Mostly 'wah, wah, wah, wah' with very strong facial expressions.

Do keep persevering. Do you have a high chair that he sits in and stays in? Maybe try two flash cards and just say 'where's ball?', if he gets the right one lots of praise and a little edible treat (we cut out all other treats, except at 'games' time).

These random words have only started after a lot of speech therapy.

Also have you managed to get a SALT assessment yet?

Well it's taken me nearly a week to get on to the pc to look at this thread in more detail. Apologies but I haven't read the whole thread. Having a bit of trouble with focus occasionally. Think I need new glasses.

DS2 is 4.9. He was initially diagnosed in September 2010 with a mild expressive language delay. He has been seen by a paediatrician on a couple of occasions who has diagnosed that whilst he isn't ASD, he does have autistic traits.

He attends nursery three days a week and they are fantastic with him. They've filled in so many forms for funding applications, etc. He has an Inclusion Assistant who sees him once a week at nursery. She works on his speech, but also works on the other issues he has, eg he has some difficulty interacting with other children. For example, if another child speaks to him or joins him in an activity, he "freezes" or moves away.

Having said that, there has been a huge improvement in the last couple of months. His IA includes other children in the activities she does with him, in particular children who will be in his Reception class at school from September.

His first appointment with SALT was in March 2009 when we were told that his speech, language and communication skills were within normal limits for his age. He was discharged. I kick myself for not pushing this. Hindsight and all that. I re-referred him in March 2010. Thanks to a bit of (ie a lot of) a mess up on SALT's part, he wasn't seen until September - and that took some pushing. He's since been seen in December and then April 2011 with exercises to be done at home and in nursery in between.

He now has a moderate speech sound delay. He misses off the final consonants of words and in the middle of words, eg paper is pa'er. At the last appointment I was told that he might be a candidate for regular therapy at the "optimum age for intervention (final term of reception)". Having said that, SALT 'phoned last week to make an appointment for him for next week!

For anyone who's still awake, I think that, thanks in no small part to his IA, DS2 is making progress but I'm still worried about how he'll be at school. A funding application has gone in for assistance at school. Mind you, the school have told me they have got somebody in place to provide this assistance regardless!

Sorry for epic-ness of post and massive over-indulgence.

Hey there again! Yes we have already been seeing a SALT (privately), she is away on holiday at moment (and we are away from next week) so we will see her again in September. Trying very hard to do all the things but not always easy! It does certainly feel like wading through treacle at times.

The high chair idea is a good one, it is really the only place he will sit and stay (he even climbs up himself and buckles himself in!). Will try doing some work with him in there (We are even taking our Ikea highchair abroad on holiday with us as it is the only way to get a few minutes peace!)

Nothing wrong with a highchair on holiday - we had a portable one too!

We too have been told by Paed that there's signs of autism (the social interaction and social communication elements, and she was concerned he didn't do any pretend play in the assessment though he does at home sometimes). The SALT doesn't think he fit ASD pattern, and she does seem him regularly. I also find it hard to believe he's ASD but until his glue ear has been sorted we will not have any answers about what else might be going on. Only 8 more weeks to go till the grommets go in and adnoids out, almost coinciding with his 3rd birthday. It does feel like a hard slog. Navigating the NHS and pushing them constantly is frustrating. As for the cost of all the private SALT, extra toys for 'games' at home, DVDs etc - it's enough to make your nose bleed.

Bump

Have followed this thread with great interest. Wish the internet had been available all those years ago when I needed it (well it was, but not in my house!).

My DS has speech and language delay, as she didn't have any access to sound until she was 3.5 years. They were very dark days with me on medication and feeling like I had been bereaved after the dx. She could say Di-da for Daddy, and not much else. She couldn't hear the beginning and the ends of words (and still can't depending on the surroundings etc), so when we asked her to go and get the POST, she went upstairs and came back with PO (Tellytubby). I remember counting how many words were in her sentences, and when she spoke a 9 word sentence it was like WOW! We were so proud of her.

When we played on the floor to expand her vocabulary, she would say 'dog' and I would say 'yes, the dog is going for a walk'. Or she would say 'car', and I would say 'the car is blue'. Except it was 'dod' and 'aar'

I would like to tell you that now at age nearly 13 she is amazing. Her speech is good (but not perfect by any means, but she is a lazy child and for the SALT she can make it almost perfect). She goes to mainstream school, has a great circle of friends, goes into town on her own, excels in some subjects. She talks too much, can be rude and insolent, and everything a nearly teenager should be.

I feel for every one of you and know where you're all coming from and will continue to read this thread as I am learning from every post.

Best wishes to you all xxxx

Just marking my place so I can read this thread properly then post my experiences.

Found this page recently www.ldonline.org/article/c657

Very interesting articles on many aspects of language delay / disorder.

I've just found this thread and have read from start to finish and have to honestly say, with every post I have felt the relief wash over me bit by bit!!

So many of your posts have made me feel 'normal' and have already taken down so much advice. I have literally thanks the MN heavens for this thread!

Sorry for the first post to be all about me but figure I'll get it all out of the way now and then can join in normal conversation! It's mammoth so I apologise.

So DS is 2.4. He physically excels in everything he does. he is super active, super flexible. Was crawling at 5 months, walking at 9/10 and has more energy than I can even explain - would happily run around like a crazy person all day!

We are a bi-lingual household, I speak to DS in English, his daddy (baba) Turkish. He was developing his speech really well up until April this year. He said lots of words, was beginning to make sentences (do that, see you later etc, counted to three, ready steady go) and made all the animal noises when you played with his set and would sing (making no sense at all but holding some form of tune). He even said some words in turkish - about 5.

Then his cousin was born in April while we were away in Ireland with friends - up until that point he was the only child, grandchild, great grandchild nephew etc of the entire family. I am also currently 8.5 months pregnant with twins so it was around this point I began to show quite significantly. We got home and he stopped speaking. It was awful. He was completely mute for a month just the occasional grunt here and there. I WAS PETRIFIED he has no other signs of autism but this was a major red flag.

He was and is brilliant with the baby (now 13 weeks old) stroking her, cuddles but was a little bit jealous of her getting attention (especially from me, nanny and Grandad). Since then it's like he has started all over again but slowly. All the words he had before seem to have gone. I think he knows them all still but won't use them and he will not say anything unless it's on his own terms. He now sporadically says yes, no, bus, Jack (the dog from Bear in the Big Blue House), Pippin, Baba (which he would say ALL the time before), please, Duck, Raffe (giraffe), Woof (for dogs and cats!), juice, hey, and a few more, rarely we get do that, but again on his own terms. He repeats phrases (of no real words but sounds) over and over again. He is clearly saying the same thing but we can't understand it. All of this is on his own terms. If you ask him to say anything (which I now know you don't do) he will just blank you. the only think he says lots of is 'tickle, tickle, tickle' as he loves to tickle you and to be tickled.

He is very, very tactile, will try and get you up but pulling your head, hand etc. He is incredibly cuddly and loves skin to skin contact (always has from a baby), likes you to lay with him and cuddle him and we play 'squeeze' a lot where we squeeze and squash him until he giggles!

His understanding is really good. You can say, 'go and get your shoes then' and he will go get them, bring them to you and hold his feet up one at a time and then run to the back door for play time. His eye contact brilliant and he plays well with other kids (he is shy so will sit back and then gradually make his way into their playing area but that is part of his control thing) but even better with adults. Only last night he was in fits of giggles with grandad running around the living room.

He doesn't go to nursery (he starts in September) and I wonder if that has contributed to his delay as he is home all day. I also work a lot, very long days and am often on my computer at home so we have just implemented a computer ban when he is around so he has our attention (well as much as you can with a huge pregnant belly and housework etc all to be done).

I am pretty sure his hearing his fine (apart from selective deafness when it comes to being told no or to do something!), but you can whisper chocolate or sweets and he will come running from the other room .

I took him to the HV last month as I was really concerned. She didn't seem that concerned at all. She said that she would expect a bilingual house hold to be delayed slightly and that she is pretty sure that this is just a control thing as a reaction to all the changes as his understanding is good and he was speaking before.

Anyway, I am due to call her back. She said to call back in a month and update her. He has progressed from the muteness and is saying more words but he is not back to where he was, nor is he making any signs of being there soon. She said that if I was still worried she would organise an assessment but I am torn as to whether to go for it now or wait until he is 2.6 when he will have been at nursery for a month.

I am petrified they are going to label him with something and then he'll never escape it. But also scared that if he has got a problem over and above this apparent control that he is not getting the help he needs so I am not really sure what to say.

hollysman DS also went through a phase of hating goodbye - really sobbing tears. Wasn't bothered at all by see you later though!!

Anyway that's our position - I am currently stuck a bit in limbo. I am going to get that two to talk book and make sure DH gets real quality time with me which I know he loves and craves. This morning we were doing counting on his fingers (along with mickey mouse) and he was grinning like a cheshire cat all the the way through!

Right will stop writing now. Just want to thank you again for this thread. I know my situation isn't as bad as some but it's such a relief to have people take any type of speech delay seriously.

Counting 1-5 with DS not DH - although I do have images of counting on his fingers now - apologies for all the spelling mistakes - too much in my head coming out to fast to type!

DS had similar problems, and sometimes it is hard to see progress. I found that a diary of what he said and how he pronounced it every few months really helped as I began to see what progress he was making. Every child develops differently and it is hard not to compare, but don't look at what other kids are doing, just how yours is doing.

This thread is fantastic.

My DD is 3.2 years old and up to 2.10 years she did not talk at all bar some sounds for mummy, daddy.

We were (reluctantly - the HV is a bit rubbish) given some details of a group for 2-3 year olds by the Heath Visitor when I hassled repeatedly about it but I could not attend with her on the one group session and now she is over 3, and also her language has improved.

Or so we think, until we hear another 3 year old chatter :-(

DD can talk better, and is doing so constantly, but it is woefully behind other children, and her pronunciation is very poor. For example she says 'mice' rather than 'mine' and can't seem to hear the difference.

Her hearing has been checked twice, and was fine. And we have absolutely no worries about other areas of development. She seems very bright and quick in other areas and is very emotionally connected and affectionate and a mischievous little monkey.

I am worried as she starts school in September (independent pre-prep) and her speech does seem very behind. Looking at the forms I have to send back I have to provide details of any speech issues and I am wondering how to word it to them.

We have BUPA but I don't think they pay for private SALT.
Should I:
a) return to useless Health Visitor
b) try G.P.
c) find out about private SALT sessions
d) just hope she catches up at school

These are the options DH and I are debating at the moment. Any nuggets of experience very welcome.

killercat NHS speech assessments can take a while. We had a 3 month wait for an initial assessment, followed by a 6 months wait for a mere 6 sessions of group therapy - we're still waiting for that. So having got thoroughly hacked off, we went private. We got an assessment in central London, cost £325 and took nearly two hours after which we were sent a very long report explaining everything. I think you can get cheaper assessments, I've heard people mention figures half of what we paid. Anyway, we then went on to have a training session every 3 weeks with a private SALT at the centre and replicated the work at home. The cost of each 45 minute training session was £70. After 5 months we joined a private group, go twice a week, which costs £70 per session. So as far as getting SALT goes, do demand referrals from your HV and GP for NHS sessions as you will need these for the education system to take any notice of any special need (and to get a statement - they don't always recognise private documentation). I realise you are going to private school for now, but just in case that ever changes. If you DC does have greater needs you might find the state system can provide better later so it's best to get in the NHS loop just in case.

Do not just hope DC will catch up, while this may well be the case it's always better to be safe than sorry. The motto seems to be 'early intervention, early intervention, early intervention' as the brain is most plastic in early year and best able to learn new pathways for over coming any cognitive difficulties (such as a speech anad language disorder).

This is my advice and I'm no expert - it's based on my own experience of my own single toddler, not a huge cohort of people. The cost of it all is shocking, but if there is anyway you can afford the private help it can really make a difference to you child, while also allowing you to meet professionals and other parents who understand what you are going through.