Support thread for speech and laguage delay toddlers...

[Orangeflower7]

Hi, I have a little boy of 2.5 and we have just today had our first speech and language referral appointment as he is not saying many words yet. I thought maybe other parents might be in the same position and would like to share experiences for support?

It took a few weeks for the appointment, which we were referred to by the health visitor. The therapist told us he has a moderate language delay and has given us ideas of some signs to use with him, she has advised us to keep language clear and simple and we will get a place at a toddler group run by speech and language therapists who will observe and support us. Not sure how long that will take as they only have 6 children in a group but there is an option we can go to the next town if necessary. He also had his hearing tested by the hospital audiologist last week and they said his hearing was fine.

Hi I'm new and have had a read through this thread.
I'm a bit concerned about ds2 and his speech development.
He is 2.3 and doesn't really say much.
He had his 2year check with the HV and she said he is fine. He will follow commands, go get your cup, shoes etc.
He will point to objects when asked and can point to all body parts when asked. We play together and I'm always talking to him, let's play with the cars, mummy has the blue car. I give him options when it comes to drink, food. He'll point but won't say what he wants. He signs eat when he's hungry.
I was thinking of seeing HV again about referral to a speech therapist but I'm pretty sure she will fob me off.
This is my 3rd baby and my other 2 said so much more.
He isn't putting 2 words together.
He can say:
Dada
Yaya (for mama)
Kiss
Wow
Ball (ba)
Choo Choo
More
Row row
Blue
Two
Poo!
Roundround for night garden
No
Yeah
Ta
Narna
Bird (bir)
Dirdir(stir)
Think that's about it.

Hi
Its been a while since i came on this thread. Well here is a little bi about my little fella. He is 37months and has a speech and language delay. Over a year agao before he was two we were concerned about his speech. I had got paranoid that he had asd etc. Anyway after two unsuccessful hearing appointments we found out his hearing was ok. Well at the beginning of the year he used to get so frustrated and angry that he couldnt coomunicate his needs it was upsetting all around. Anyway we employed a private SALT as the waiting list for nhs is ridiculous . We employed her as she work with children with SEN in her day job(primarily autistic children) In about april she said he had made a lot of progress with words signs etc and began to seee him monthly as he was doing well. The words have come along a treat and we are getting there very slowly with two-three word sentences. He attends nursery which has brought him on a treat as they do makaton with him like we do at home. They said they had no concerns about his understanding and he was improving delay. Now he also had a schedule of growing skills done and he was delay on some things but not all and since this he has progressed and brought himself to a level with his peers(except potty training and speech) Nobody has really told us at what level he is except our private SALT who 6months ago said his speech was approx 9-12 months behind. Well to cut a long story short we have finally heard from NHS SALT who saw him 8 weeks ago and agrreed to see him in nursery. Well we were riding high because of his progress yesterday she questioned his understanding. Now our little man has only really started making friends, he asks to go and play and generally loves nursery and the staff are really happy with his progress. Now the salt thinks he is only copying play and doesnt initiate it. He is starting to according to nursery but I feel so down now. He has made so much progress. She has only seen him for two short periods and has come out with this. I feel quite upset hence the time I am writing this. The early years service has been invloved but it tailed off when he went to nursery, now the SALT wants to get them involved to do more stuff. I picked my son up and had to pick my daughter up at the same time and I wasn't able to talk to the salt as other mums were about and she was a bit vague when I asked for feedback off the seesion in writing something she agreed to send reluctantly. I feel like we are being passed from pillar to post and I am getting so wound up about it all. I live away from my family and just need someone to listen as hubby is a lot better at coping with this. All I can see is doom and gloom after everything was going so well. Sorry for he long rant.

Hi - I have namechanegd but posted on here before - just wanted to vent really.

A really good friend came round today and we were talking about our dc and about a girl that will be in dds class when she starts school in December (dd has speech delay due to hearing loss and is waiting further assessment) anyway she casually lets slip that the other girl - is 'really bright, so verbal' and then goes on to say further that this girl can have adult convos etc.

I know I have to be patient for dds speech to hopefully catch up - her consultant says it could take 1-2 years but it is so soul destroying when even your best friends think subconsciously that lack of 'normal' speech means that they are stupider than other children.

Tell me I'm being too thin skinned - I know I am really.

WhatIsPi you are not being thin skinned. There's a thread on the SN board about feeling sad when the your childs peers are all chatting away, it might be worth a look.

Thanks cjn - I havent ventured over to SN before for worrying that I would be kicked out - I find it hard to post over there without feeling like a complete fraud.

Hi, I've skimmed through the many stories on this post, so many are so familiar. My DD3 is 20 months (and I realise that this is still young), but i know she is strugling with language. DD1 and DD2 were both freely conversing in sentences at her age and had full understanding. I don't feel like DD3 is the same. She screaches for things she wants. Only literally says Mem (even though I call myself Mam), Ded (Dad!), and makes completely wrong attempts at cath, ci, buwch etc (Welsh!!). She doesn't copy language as the others did. She doesn't seem to try. Everyone tells me not to worry about it as she is still young, but if there is something I can do to help at this early stage i want to do it before it's harder when she's older.

I just get upset when people say it's because she's number 3 and she doesn't get enough attention. Want to shout at them that I have to work 3 days, and am trying so hard to give everyone what they need and deserve, and actualy it's me thats not getting the attention not her!!!

This ranting is very cathartic!!! xx

WhatIsPi - I think it is entirely natural to feel down - it's very much an up and down journey when struggling with delay - especially because I expect lots of us are worried about what is causing the delay. I think you need to trust the nursery's views and those of the therapist you have seen for a while. Perhaps have another session with her to discuss the NHS Salt's concerns?

To show you are not alone, I too have has lots of ups and downs. My DD was 3 last month and despite referring her via the NHS over 6 months ago we have not been seen by a single NHS SALT. She is having private sessions every couple of weeks and just today the therapist told me she had seen another improvement (but still quite a lot of delay and poor pronunciation as compared with others her age).

My DD goes a nursery once a week and I told them she was seeing a SALT and could they see whether they thought she was improving. My DD's keyworker told me that she was unbelievably shy, had no special friends and sometimes just nodded when asked a question (and so the keyworker questioned her understanding). I was so upset and spent the next few days feeling so low (and thought perhaps they were implying ASD traits).

It was only after speaking to friends and the SALT therapist that I realised that I shouldn't allow the feeling that DD was making progress to be spoilt by what one person, (who was perhaps not realising I would be ultra sensitive) who sees DD for a few hours a week, tells me.

There are times that I feel that we are really getting somewhere (DD has started asking more questions and sometimes saying words that I haven't heard before) but other times when I worry worry worry - she will play very silently for a long while, her pronunciation is still not great and her 20 month old brother probably just about equals her in the speaking stakes!

Not sure if this helps - but wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

Hello - am new to the thread but am hoping it will help me see some light with my beautiful ds.

Ds is 2.7 and one of the happiest, cheeky, and lovingly affectionate children I have ever known but he has some issues with his speech. He is bilingual, dh and i are from different countries and communicate with the children in both languages. He was progressing well but after an incredibly turbulent year (house move, house build, hospital stays while abroad for severe viral infection with some rather 'extreme' treatment, new cousin after being only child, grandchild, great grandchild etc; and then along came his two little sisters 11 weeks ago) his speech began to deteriorate. About 7 months ago (after returning from holiday to the arrival of his cousin) we noticed he'd stopped using so many words (he was never a prolific speaker but could say 15-20 words, make animal noises and gabbled a lot) and instead pointed or dragged people to what he wanted. Since then he does occasionally use the odd word and gabbles constantly but is not progressing with his speech.

He started nursery in September as we though mixing with other kids would help but struggled with settling (the first day was fine the second and third day he got upset seeing me leave and the nursery left him to cry for three hours - I was furious) and we have been staying with him this first term to help him settle and he has come on leaps and bounds (from refusing to go in to literally dragging me in with excitement) however he hasn't improved on his speech as we had hoped.

I discussed my worries at length with hv and nursery before he started and we agreed he would have the senco worker as his key worker and would work on speech issues and integration but it's all been put on hold while we get him over his fear of being separated from me again and getting that upset.

Anyway I've requested s&l support and we've filled in all the forms etc for nursery and are waiting for the first review meeting but the nursery also want him to have one on one support for health and safety issues (he's very physical and loves to climb and run which we have always encouraged) and basically said its just another way to get some funding so his key worker can spend dedicated time with him and help with speech so i agreed and the hv wants to do a schedule of growing skills (based on my concerns over his speech not hers as she's never seen him!). I know I was the one that bought up his speech issues with nursery and hv but feel like my little boy is becoming sucked into the system and being labelled as having problems without having the chance to be himself. I am under no illusions that he needs support in his speech but feel uncomfortable with the focus solely being on this and not allowing him to just be a kid!

Can anyone tell me what's involved in the schedule of growing skills? My hv implied it was focused around puzzles and colour recognition etc which ds has never done (my failing as a parent not doing those things with him, not his!) so am worried this will not be an assessment he will ever do well on iyswim as he doesn't know those things.

Am surrounded by family, husband and friends with opinions but feel so lonely and confused about it all!

I've been in tears most of the day as i feel like I'm losing my little boy to this and it's all I seem to think about or all anyone wants to talk about

I'm so sorry for the me post - I'm going to go back and read up on everyone now x thanks for reading/listening.

Hi there BB3, sounds quite similar to my DS (now 2.6). He is happy cheerful, very physical but the speech is just not happening (except plenty of babbling in his own language). He does not point but he follows if you do, and he drags or takes you to things of onterest or places he wnats to go/things he wants you to help with.

He had an appointment at the child development clinic (first appointment) this week and they tried to do the schedule of growing skills (what I saw appeared to be some shape puzzles, a peg board to put pegs in, blocks to build with). The annoying thing was that DS can do all of those things (can do a simple shape sorter puzzle, has good fine motor control and would easily put pegs in a peg board, actually loves making towers and walls with blocks), but did absolutely none of them in the clinic as all he wanted to do for the entire two hours was opne and close the sliding door on the room.

I understand a lot about the sadness, feeling lonely and confused etc.

sorry re typos, should have checked first!

That's exactly my worry, ds wont 'perform' at all - in fact he's so head strong he'll point blank refuse and just go off an play with what he wants. What did they say when he didn't do anything? X thanks so much for posting a reply x

Your ds sounds exactly like mine - sliding doors win every time!!!

They have not said much so far, further assessments required (but I could see her looking hard at him repeatedly opening and closing the door, also my DH getting increasingly frustrated and stressed as he stood and held the door closed for much of the two hours, he didn't come across as his usual self either!).

I feel conflicted about it because on one hand I want them to see that he has problems/differences/whatever you want to call them, otherwise what's the point of getting the assessment? On the other hand he did not present as his typical self at all that afternoon! (It was also slap bang in the middle of usual nap time so he was terribly tired by the end and so when he stopped sliding the door he just started screaming when they tried to weigh him etc. When he's not tired he would be fine with that kind of thing).

See I wish we could just get ds some support without having to have so many assessments, forms and meetings! I'm not looking for a diagnosis of any kind and i don't want one I just want him to get some s&l support!

I wouldn't be able to take dh to anything like thy as he's get so frustrated and end up making ds worse! Think it's natural your dh wasnt himself, it's such s frittering / worrying thing isn't it! So do you just have to wait now?

Hi I have a 2 year old beautiful little girl DD3 who following her 2 year check has initially been referred to SALT and Hearing Tests due to her language delay. Her understanding of instructions (as in put that there) is fine but nothing more complex than that. She can say baby, mummy, ball, shoes, car, bubble and juice ish or at least to the point i can understand those but nothing else and no babbling.

My other 2 were very socially, chatty and playful. She doesn't interact with other children or adults or want to and only plays with 2 toys opening the gates on a piece of train track or carrying a teddy/doll, or have a bath for pleasure. she can kiss and say bye but doesn't try every to hug or snuggle.

She never points or really seems to want or be interested in things, never watched a tv screen or stared at plants or seemed interested. I love her dearly and always just though she was a little slow and would catch up as once she started walking @ 15 months way behind her siblings who were both at 10 months her gross motor skills have been fine. she seems to just be, she walks into things and doesn't feel pain but when she melts-down its hysteria (never seen before in the other two).

something inside me tells me something isn't right, i love her soo much but i just have this gut feeling she is different. wondering if anyone else felt this way or could offer advice.

Hi Lucilastic I too have dd2 who is 4 and starts school sept 2012. She talks alot but has hardly any sounds and only family can understand some of the things she says. She is having SALT at nursery but I'm not seeing a vast or fast improvement and I am worried about school in september. Her social and behavioural development is also a bit odd, although nursery don't see a problem but we do at home. She is tiny size 18-24 month clothes so all of her 'little' problems are a big worry at the moment as school looms ever closer! My dd3 is also showing language delay. She is 18 months old and has around 4 words. She grunts most of the time. I have tried really hard with her to prevent this happening again. It is so frustrating! I am a stay at home mum and do lots with them and talk to them all the time but I cant help blaming myself. My dd1 spoke very early and clearly however. I feel like screaming!

Hi this thread is really interesting and I thought I would revive it. My dd1 who just turned 4 has a speech delay and possible dyspraxia . My dd2 who is 2.5 also has similar issues. We have made progress with dd1 with salt and loads of work at home.

Can't believe we r now facing all the same issues with dd2. I feel so inadequate as A parent and keep thinking it's somehow down to me. :(

Rosiescorner, some of the things you mention sound a little off-beat and I think you're right to trust your gut instinct.

If I were you I would start making appointments to get your DD assessed by developmental paediatritian and a SALT. In my area this had to be done through the HVs rather than the GP, but it may be a GP appointment is the way to start where you are.

YY to feeling the way you do! I also felt there was something not right with my DS, his speech was slow to start and didn't progress at the kind of rate I would be happy with. There were other issues I became concerned about, such as his indifference about pain. His social skills aren't good (he won't say hello to his classmates, he looks at them as though he has never seen them before), he doesn't wave, he doesn't imitate facial expressions made to him, he doesn't look for clues in your face, he adores sliding doors and other cause and effect type activities, he really seemed to be lost in his own world so much of the time - he just didn't seem to have any interest in the outside world. I talked to him frequently about when he would be starting school (pre-school) and I never had any response at all. The only thing that seemed to get through to him was Spot Goes To School, but he never commented on that either. He never asks questions, even Why? Where are we going? What's that, etc.

I appreciate these things are individual to my DS and don't necessarily tally with the things you may have noticed with your DD. But I believe that you are the best judge and your instinct should be relied on. If there is no problem then it won't have done any harm to have her assessed.

Noodle, your son sounds a lot like my DC aged 3. Has he been diagnosed with anything?

Hi again those who are still here. I have moved largely over to the SN threads as I am pretty sure my DS has something more than just a speech delay going on.

Noodles, the sliding door thing really chimes with me, has become a big issue to the extent of nearly breaking my nose!: we were on holiday last week in a villa with glass sliding doors onto the garden. DS was crazy about the doors and spent the whole week sliding them (well, it did keep him occupied!!) On the first day of the holiday I went in from the garden through the bedroom door to get something quickly, turned around and came straight out again...and DS had closed the glass door behind me. Smack bang and a huge bruise on my nose all holiday!

hi dont know if im in the right bit for advice,my ds who is now 4 has always had speech problems whn he was 2 he was referred but thy sd he was too young and to wait til he at nursery,the nursery hav noticed his speech plus his motor skills,balance etc is all linked and his speech therapist is sure he is showing signs of classic verbal dysphraxia,he has an o.t appoinment end of the month and down on forum for a place at speech n lanuage skool which he needs to fight for,i am lookin for any mums who has a dc with this and any tips on how to help him my speech thrapst is brilliant too.

Hi aliceinboots and theDudesmummy, we haven't had firm diagnosis yet, only had initial assessment with the developmental paed. He asked me if I had any ideas about what could be going on with DS, and I said I thought it possible he was on the Autistic spectrum. I don't remember his exact wording but his letter summarising the assessment said that he echoed my opinion. I think my hopes that there would just be a speech/language delay and nothing more had already faded, but my heart still sank like a stone

Alice my DS is 3.4. Has your DC been diagnosed or are you still in the process?

thanks TheNoodlesIncident the HV has referred us for a hearing test 17th (my eldest had glue ear so they want to check that out too) and we have also been referred to the speech and language therapist on the 25th.

Your DS sounds so much like my little girl. She also spends a lot of time juust touching or playing with her hands on her face. Have started her in a nursery but she has zero interest in the other children or really the staff she just quietly takes herself to the rocking horse and plays there. Apart from at the nativity we took her too walked into the room and had an uncontrollable meltdown.

She gets dragged to playgroups and playdates with her older brother very sociable but just seems to have no wish to interact with other children. she loves books welll um except picture books she just wants books with just print and just to look at the letters.

her language is pretty non existent so questions are out and she never really points at anything in curiosity, but she'll follow what i tell her to do, shes just blank most of the time. although for some bizarre reason she loooves the happy birthday song and almost pitch perfect can sing without words the tune over and over and over again.

hoping we can get some answers soon, my other two were full of questions and just different (shes never really naughty if that makes sense she has meltdowns but if upset just crying at toughing and moving her hand over her face) its hard to expain because she seems so good not trying to take things of other children, not fighting etc but she doesn;t interact to do any of these things. People keep telling me that a third is lazy as they get what they want without communicating i really hope thats the case.

My ds is 7 now and I can relate to a lot of what posters are describing but please note, I am not second guessing autism for anyone's child. I think there are unnecessarily long delays for parents in getting at least a working dx for why their child is developmentally delayed. I think there is too much emphasis on somehow getting the 'right' dx when really what is needed is effective and direct intervention and therapy as soon as possible, and this should be available without a dx. Well meaning people do tend to offer a range of re assuring explanations for why a child has not developed language but it's really not helpful and only continues the culture of apathy towards developmental disorders and fosters a naive view that in the end 'they all catch up' . Sadly this is not true.

finally a thread somewhere I can relate to!

My little boy is 2.3 and barely says anything, just juice, daddy and tries to say mama but comes out as 'ama', he had bi-lateral glue ear so severly that he was completely deaf for a couple weeks shy of a year then he had grommets put in, we thought naively that that would solve everything but 18 weeks after the op its a case of getting all his interactions in place again, before the deafness he was saying 20+ words would turn to his name every time and was following instructions like, pick up the cup etc now we're lucky if he responds to his name even a quarter of the time and refuses to follow even basic instructions like give mummy the cup, we have been told he has to unlearn all his little ways he developed for communication while he was deaf but we are starting to realise this is going to be a very long haul, its just heart-breaking to see

We have already been refered to SALT, just waiting for the app to come in now but have been told that they prob won't be able to help until he turns 3 however that doesn't help now, have been told by the GP, health visitor and other profs that he isn't autistic or anything like that because he apart from the speech delay and refusing to respond to his name sometimes he has no other symptoms, its just getting very frustrating trying to get help to not only help with the speech but to help him to relearn to listen for verbal communication

I know exactly how you feel BB3 though, even though I have my hubby to talk to I sometimes think he thinks I'm just worrying about it too much and with the wide network of family I have I still feel very much alone and like I somehow have failed my little one