Support thread for speech and laguage delay toddlers...

[Orangeflower7]

Hi, I have a little boy of 2.5 and we have just today had our first speech and language referral appointment as he is not saying many words yet. I thought maybe other parents might be in the same position and would like to share experiences for support?

It took a few weeks for the appointment, which we were referred to by the health visitor. The therapist told us he has a moderate language delay and has given us ideas of some signs to use with him, she has advised us to keep language clear and simple and we will get a place at a toddler group run by speech and language therapists who will observe and support us. Not sure how long that will take as they only have 6 children in a group but there is an option we can go to the next town if necessary. He also had his hearing tested by the hospital audiologist last week and they said his hearing was fine.

That was the key for me Lenin - the fact that we couldnt understand what dd was saying and she cant repeat back nursery rhymes etc whereas ds loved to do this from a very young age.

dudesmummy try ringing them?

Omnishambles our ENT consultant wouldn't say if the glue ear was the sole / main / partial cause of the speech delay. Infact he said it might be only a minor contributing factor... Once we had our appointment, we've now had to wait another 18 weeks for the grommets operation. Only another 10 to go! So there's yet more limbo and wonder whether it's the miracle cure or will actually do very little... Meanwhile, our SLT is saying he's catching up on the understanding from but still behind, particularly on the expressive front. So, from what I can work out this is a very inexact science and really very little is known. It's a case of ruling things out. And, so far rather little has been ruled out which is where the anxiety comes from!

Meanwhile, keep hassling everyone for appointments. If necessary ring PALS.

Dudesmummy some days feel rubbish, some better. Big hugs to you, the bad ones really are C**P.

good grief thats a long time to wait cjn - I have to confess that we are just waiting on the name of the consultant as once we get this we will use dh's insurance to go private - though it will be the same consultant iyswim.

I just cant wait any longer, I feel guilty for waiting as long as I did thinking it would sort itself out.

You know what I would like to confess on here in this safe-ish space? The fact that even though I know dd's hearing is impaired it hasnt stopped me getting impatient sometimes when she doesnt respond or is being told off (she can be violent when we dotn understand her) or asked to stop running in the road etc am disappointed in myself for that.

I know, its all just so frustrating - thanks

Can only agree that the crap days are truly crap. It's the fustration (mostly mine) and the uncertainty for the future that drags me down.
I hate being around other nearly 3 yr olds as it highlights how immature DD is in comparision.

The concern that the speech and language delay is linked to an intellectual deficit is what fills me with fear. The idea my lovely little boy could have a bigger problem meaning he'll never be able to have a fully independent life etc... I realise it's just fear at this stage, and crystal ball gazing is just a way of winding myself up but sometimes that's where I end up.

Discovering this thread has been a huge help. Would be great if there were support groups locally too where you could share resources, thoughts and experience.

That is exactly how I feel, worrying all the time he will never really develop speech or a lot of other things and will never be independent etc

And the thing about getting angry, oh I can identify with that..I know it is not his fault but sometimes I just want to shout at him "just STOP talking nonsense/ climbing up the radiator/having a tantrum and LISTEN to what I am saying and TRY to stay something for Gods sake". I get angry with him, then myself, then fate/life etc.

My brother's little boy is two months younger than my DS and his mother noted on her Facebook page today that it is is second birthday "although he insists he is four". My DS would not have a clue it even was his birthday, or what either two or four meant, or be able to say anything about it. It makes me sad and scared.

I'm concerned to hear that people are having trouble getting hold of "Teach me to Listen and Obey". I would definitely email Laura about this.

She even popped up on a thread of mine once. Will see if I can find it.

Its fine now! Laura has just emailed me and is sending me a Pay pal invoice so I can buy Teach me to Talk. Thanks for the recommendation!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/750157-Radio-programmes-on-receptive-language-delay-www-teachmetotalk-com

take a look at this thread and see if the podcast still works. If not, I summarised the issues about half way down

then she did another programme which I also summarised.

he-radio-with-the-annoying#15361854

by the way, my DS2 is now 5.11 and got a "B" (which means meeting the national expections for his age) for communication at the end of reception. His language is pretty good now. His only real remaining problem is that he isn't quite flexible/agile enough to follow the twists and turns of children's free play but we keep working on it.

Oh cool. Laura is a nice lady. You may find her intervention on the predecessor to this thread quite amusing!

omni hi, very good warning, that I would agree with.

Also dd2 "passed" her newborn hearing screening despite having a profound loss in one ear, and at best a mild loss in the other!
2% of deaf children pass this screening.

Also omni there is a type of hearing loss that "develops" in early childhood. Although not sure what it's called.

Just to add that dd2 said "daddy" and "where" before we found out about her being deaf.

We also get frustrated with dd2 not listening to us. Had to laugh when daddy told her off and she took out her aids and turned her back on him.

I am sad that so many of us are wracked with worry over our little ones. Like all of us I hope DD will be ok and will manage to forge ahead and eventually speak appropriately but is stangely reassuring that the majority of us wit speech delayed 2/3 yr olds share the same concerns.
I try so hard to "live in the day" and enjoy my funny, quirky, delightful little girl because she will never be nearly 3 again and this time is precious.
It is so so hard not to worry about the future though...

Especially since many of your DC sound so advanced compared to DS3 at same age (& like I said, he seems to be sorting himself out on own, really). His lack of understanding at nearly 3yo was something that worried me a lot.

I honestly think him watching much more TV in last 6 months has helped, btw; not supposed to say that, I know, but I'm pretty sure it's been very beneficial. Watching the same (cbeebies) programmes daily, 1-3 hrs worth, especially stuff like Mr. Tumble. He didn't watch much children's TV before that.

I can totally sympathise with the guilt of shouting at dd when she is naughty. Its just so difficult. Its nearly impossible to get through to her, though she does respond to 'No' but will nearly always go back to whatever she wasn't supposed to be doing about 10 seconds later! I read an article a while ago about a lady whos son had Aspergers and how she tried to remain calm when dealing with her son as she knew it wasnt his fault and he wasnt doing these things to p**s her off. Each time I yell at my dd I try and think of this and it inspires me to be more calm. Still difficult and I certainly have lapses, but Im trying!
alowVera we saw the audiologist in the hospital twice, with one more due soon
ragged I agree about the tv, the first time my dd said anything that made any sense it was 'one, two, ha (three)' which she copied off a programme called 'Bo on the Go'. Also 'dinosaw raar' from George in PeppaPig.
Somethings recommended by SALT have been useful, and her attention seems to have improved but not sure if thats due to her being in a nursery group or due to her being older!!
Its so hard not to worry about her future but try to live each day one at a time.

One day at a time is a great way to be, i try to do this, especially when the little things mean so much.
This time last year she could only say "du-be-du-be-du" And I am so proud of every little amazing thing she does.

Dd now says and signs "toco-tat", after us spending 2 weeks working with her. (reward and praise with chocolate buttons). :o

Do you ladies do "wow" cards?

What's a WOW card?

Hollysmam I know so well what you mean when you speak about your DD responding briefly to No and then going right back to doing whatever she was doing! My DS is the same and he has developed a total overriding and (to me) irrational passion recently for climbing up: onto anything, shelves, tables, windowsills, anywhere where he will be in danger of falling (and can try to pull a TV onto himself or reprogramme a Sky box!). He laughs at me when I say (sternly, I think) "No get down", stops for a moment and then (chuckling to himself) carries right on doing it while I stand there remonstrating. When I go and take him down, cue a tantrum or at least tears worthy of an Oscar. It is very hard because I can't reason with him and I don't know how much of what I say he really understands.

Interesting thoughts about the TV. I do allow DS to watch a bit of "Baby TV" channel, and he enjoys particular songs etc, laughs and claps when they come on, but does not (yet) copy any words. I have also got him (after recommandations on here) Sookie and Finn (which he finds hilarous) and some Bee Bright, which I watch with him, don't just leave him to watch on his own. (A bit of a current problem with Bee Bright however because the damned ants and bees keep saying bye bye and DS cannot abide anyone saying that (we have to call it the B-word when anyone, very quietly and secretly, leaves the house)).

Sorry so long. It does help to have others in similar position and know that I am not alone in being so worried about everything.

I wish I could just enjoy my daughter without analysing her every move for signs of a learning delay or autism.

Sorry, not much help today.

Oh I know so exactly what you mean. I enjoyed him so much as my miraculous baby (a very very long awaited late-in-life baby after recurrent miscarriages) and now every interaction seems like I have to be either doing some kind of therapy with him or analysing his behaviour. It is hard just to enjoy him. I do try, and he is (when not cross) a lovely sunny little thing with a wonderful smile and a naughty sense of humour, so he should be very enjoyable. But there's always that ongoing worry (and the sadness when there are other children his age around, or their achievements are mentioned, and I realise how different he is).

I have now ordered and paid for the Teach me to Talk DVD and also spent some time looking at Laura's blog etc, will feed back about whether or not we find it helpful in due course.