I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Hey JM - can't answer your question, tbh - DS also hits us sometimes but it's out of frustration so very obvious as to the reason behind it. He's not allowed to get away with it - gets told off for doing it - but he still sometimes does just try to pummel away with his little fists. He's never done a big hit like that outside of a physical game with DH though - they chase each other, DS likes it when DH tries to (GENTLY) kick him on the bottom while chasing him. I do the chasing sometimes but try to nip his bum, not kick it - so for him, doing something similar as part of the game is normal.

He has hurt DH by crawling on him in the evenings and caught him in the nadgers, but only ever by accident - and DH usually just puts him on the floor and then gets over it.

Your DH isn't helping by being cool to a 3 year old - I told my Dad off for sulking with DS once when we were over there because DS didn't want to do what Dad did and he sulked!! remind your DH who is the adult here.

I think you might need to explore the happenings immediately prior to the hitting a bit more - is your DS trying a power play? Is he frustrated over something?

I think a three year old can cope with a chilly response to an apology as long as you explain it in a way that he understands - 'that really hurt daddy and I was so taken by surprise I'm not ready to give you a cuddle yet, I'm glad you've said sorry and I will be ok later, I am still annoyed that you hit me so hard though.'

I think your dh had every reason to be chilly and distant, but did your son know why? Three year olds aren't great at linking ideas and behaviours... we have to spell it out for them.

Wabbit - yes for a little while, but the rest of the day??

To be chilly all day is a bit extreme but your DH probably felt very hurt. I often have to remind my DH that DD is only 3 and can't be treated as if an adult had hit him. He sometimes thinks I'm too soft but imo a tantruming, hysterical 3 yr old just can't be reasoned with and the only answer is distraction techniques.

Just to clarify before you two get into an argument on my behalf :) I probable should have said the rest of the evening, this happened around 5 pm.

So only about 2 hours before your DS went to bed then, JM? That's not so bad. I was thinking several hours of chilly and distant, which is a loooonnnng time to a 3yo. I have done chilly and distant with DS when he's been a real git and hurt me but I think the max I have managed is half an hour.[soft]