I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Cats are great though, aren't they? Ds2 picks up one of ours under the arms and carries him round. It looks really uncomfortable but the darn cat just purrs and gives me this sort of long-suffering look.

We're still trying with the sticker chart. I shot out of bed at 5.15 and told ds2 that I was going to get very cross if he didn't go back to bed until 6 a.m. Apparently he did (well, nearly) but I was dead to the world so he woke DH up instead. We'll get there one day... when he's 10, probably.

Oh dear (and giggle, snigger) the In-laws are coming to visit today and DS keeps telling me he loves Nana, but not Grandy. DH is totally going to think I've been putting DS up to this, when actually it has nothing to do with me. DS has come out with this all by himself.

Can't help a giant inward though!

We had the inlaws up this weekend, at first DS was "nooooo I want Nanny (my mum) don't want Grandma and Grandad!"
But he was happy to see them and had lots of fun though we had quite a few melt downs about getting dressed and not eating his dinner.

Think I need to do a rewards chart for eating veg....

We have that too DS only wants my mum and dad and says Grandad is his best Grandad. He never wants to see DHs dad but then is all sweetness and light when he does. He doesn't see my MIL as she lives in Fance so he doesn't really know here. But thats another story................

Shodan, we used to have the very early starts but have found recently DS sleeps longer, and this morning did actually go back to bed at 5.30am until 7am when DH woke me DS and DD up as we had overslept!

Have had shit morning though as when I got to preschool I realised I had a flat tyre and had to leave the car there while I got DD to school by other means and getting the AA out, DS was in floods of tears about it all as it was all out of the norm. Hopefully now all sorted he will be ok when I go to pick him up, although I need to go to Aldi on the way back so that could spoil things

Not really the right thread to ask this on but as all DCs on here similar age has anyone and good/bad things to say about a Vtech Mobigo or a Leapster Explorer? DS has been asking for a dsi like his sister but think he is too young.

Really, MrsJH? You mean there might be... hope? We all might get to sleep past 5.30? (Because poor ds1 suffers too. No fun for a teenager!)

Not sure about either of those two things. My sister has something that looks quite good, which I was thinking of for ds2, but I can't even remember its name, let alone what it does. Ds2 is very keen on our laptops and can use them to a certain extent but obviously he's way too young for his own. Something machiney would be good for him I think. I'll have a look at those and see if either are what my sis has.

I got my overdue tantrums at the weekend...

We took DD to the zoo, which she loved - although there were a few minor foot stamping episodes over practically nothing. It really should have told me there was something major on the way.

She fell asleep in the car on the way home (pretty unusual these days) and napped for about 90 minutes in total, even surviving being carried into the couch. She woke up in a foul mood. Was bribed with a kiwi fruit. Demanded a banana. Complete and total tantrum when I said no. Decided (eventually, bad Mum) to offer something else to eat - even bigger tantrum. She eventually managed to get out the words that she didn't want anything, she just couldn't stop crying! Sipping juice through a straw finally reached calm.

There were also tantrums over:

• me leaving the bathroom while she was on the toilet - and then having the cheek to come back in when she called!
• Not being able to watch Mary Poppins again (3 seconds after it had finished)
• and me being too close to her - which turned into me not giving her a hug!

It was a long weekend!

We have MIL issues too - DD doesn't want to speak to her on the phone (and as it's the only way we communicate due to distance, that's quite hard on DH). She also told my Mum recently that if "Grandad was being naughty" she should put him in a box and post him to us

Hoorah! I've found this post - and I'm not going insane or thinking my DD is abnormal

DD has been progressively getting worse - she used to be a lovely happy baby, and we thought we'd escaped the terrible two's, but now at the age of 3.0 she has turned into jeckyll and hyde!

she has now insisted on getting up at 5.30 in the morning - walking past the bathroom and her potty to get to mine and DH's room saying 'I need a wee mummy - I can't do it on my own', where as every other time she insists on going 'i do it on myself - cos I'm a big girl'

I don't mind helping her on the toilet, but honestly 5.30?! have tried putting her back in her room, but she wails constantly until I'm forced to get up at 6!

Not to mention having to wipe a pooey bum at that unearthly hour, chimparoo.

Thank the Good Lord we have no GP issues. Ds's GPs come every week and take him out for a couple of hours. He loves it and he loves them. And so do I because I am pathetically grateful to be able to get on with exciting stuff like ironing (without ds2 hiding under the ironing board and pulling at the clothes) or hoovering( without ds2 shouting I help! I help! and then mucking around with the hoover, switching it off/on/off/on ad nauseam) or mopping the kitchen floor (without ds2 tantrumming that 'It's slippery! My feet are wet!') etc.

Glad I've seen this. I have a very 'challenging' 3 year old (plus an equally challenging 2 yo).
Can I join you?
Going to have a look through the thread, see if there's any tips/tricks I haven't tried

Everytime i read this I laugh and smile as it all sounds so familiar - vviola that so could have been written about DS (although would change kiwi fruit to olives or cheese strings and mary poppins to disney cars) , day time napping at times seems like a welcome break I know but it usually results in a foul temper and hysterical crying here over nothing usually.

Shodan, yes there is hope I can't say when it happended but pretty much he isn't awake til about 6-6.30 7 the latest. which is a HUGE improvement cos it had been 5 - 5.30 all the time, and yes DD suffers with us too, couldn't possibly dream of letting anyone else have a lie in while the rest of us suffer bleary eyed downstairs! He will go in and wake her up by jumping on her or make so much noise she just can't sleep.

And yes, DS walks past the family bathroom, usually dragging his step with him into our ensuite and then whines "i need a wee" "go on then" "noooo need you to help me..etcetc" or plonks the loo seat down with a crash and shouts "there is a poo coming... nnnnnooow!!! " and then "wipe my bum mum wipe my bummmm"(DD used to do this too although now 8 not now)

Well, in the last 5 minutes, my 3 year old has ran around the living room yelling "batty-boy" , has yelled at me to speak English and called me a cockney sparrow
I know the last one came from his Dad, but the others must have been nursery. Not impressed at all.

Shodan I can sympathise you there with the hoovering - my little helper will be at it again this afternoon.

We managed 6 this morning with "maaaaa....I need a wee...."
me: "use your potty then"
DD: "it's for babies. I want the toilet"
me: "ok, go on then...then back to bed"
DD: " but i want hot mink" (hot milk)
me "it's too early"
DD: " waaaaaaah"
repeat until DH says "I suppose I'll get up then" STOMP STOMP STOMP make as much noise as he can

and when I do get up I am faced with a house like a bombsite!!

At least she's in nursery this morning, and finally hasn't cried or needed teddy - YAY!

DS has seen me BF DD. He calls the breastmilk "mummy milk" My mum said he's been asking her if she has nanny milk. She told him nannies don't have milk but he wouldn't believe her and looked up her jumper and told her he wanted to see it. .
I'm just hoping he doesn't start going up to random strangers and pulling their tops down

I have a question about listening.
DS sometimes doesn't listen, at times I have wondered if he has a hearing problem but he hears me if I whisper "would you like some chocolate?"

Nursery have commented on it as well. You ask him a question or ask him to do something but he completely blanks.

Now I have to admit I do this, I get completely engrossed in something (such as a book) and DH will be talking to me and he gets annoyed when I ignore him

Now I am finding it frustrating when DS does it. Is this normal 3yo behaviour or a sign of something else

Kara My 3yo does that. He is def choosing to just ignore me.
And I'd say if your ds can her you whispering about chocolate, then he is ok, just using selective hearing.
My 3yo now gets told/asked twice and if he still ignores me he has to go and sit in the time out corner and he is told to sit there until he is ready to listen.

Thanks SM - that is reassuring, I think I will try that tactic with him.

I just don't know what else to do Kara. I have tried confiscating toys, shouting, bribing with sweets or stickers, reward tokens, ignoring, and nothing works with him, he just doesn't seen to care what I do.
So now I am really over-using time-ot/naughty spot and I am not doing it the supernanny way because when I go to get him out of time-out, he refuses which then gives him control of that area.
He now has to ask if he can come out and he will then come out on my terms when he agrees to listen/be nice/stop hitting etc whatever it is he is doing.

SM - your DS sounds exactly like mine!

In a way it is very reassuring to know that it isn't because I am a crap parent it is that some children turn in to hellspawn when they are three

Ahhhhhh, feel so much better finding this thread. A move, followed by a new baby just before she turned three really seemed to accelerate DD1s 'There was a little girl with a little curl' behaviour. So much of what other posters are saying happens here everyday. I am not alone!

I went in all gung-ho to ds2's preschool teacher today, determined to get them to allow him to do three mornings a week again (quick back story- he strated last Sept, they said it 'might be best' to take him out for the second half of the term as he 'wasn't as emotionally developed' as they wanted (he was 2.9 FGS), which I did, then started him again in Jan for 2 mornings. It was supposed to go to 3 this term but they still wouldn't let him, so I said we'd leave it till half term)

Anyhoo. After weeks of decent behaviour he chose today to smack the teacher and another child who tried to take a toy away from him.

I don't know if it's 'normal' for 3 year olds to smack but I'm starting to feel like he's being singled out or something. Surely a pre-school (who take kids from 2.6) should be able to cope with this sort of thing?

I think they should be able to cope with that. Most little kids hit at some stage.

pours a

its been a lllllooooonnnnggggg...............day

Shodan, hands a sorry to hear your having a tough day too. Nursery should be able to cope with it I think, what method of punishment do they use?

DS has been trying today. It started with the presenter on Nick Jnr Wake up World. For some reason we have to turn over when she comes on .
I could tell it was going to challenging then. He then had a fit about the apple juice I gave him with breakfast, why?? Was delicious, proper stuff from pressed from local apples etc, we have had it before. So he had aldi juice. Went to Tesco, said he was too tired to walk and wanted to sit in trolley. Insists on sitting in the chair when he is clearly too big. Then every few seconds, mum, mum, over there, look at that, can we get that mum. I said I was going to change my name ... also said to him, look you dont have to keep saying my name at the beginning of your sentence, I am right by you I know you are talking to me, you dont need to keep repeating my name. At the checkout (whilst in trolley) kept grabbing the checkout and by pulling kept bashing the trolley backwards and forwards. After being told three times I said, right your coming out - massive screaming fit and sympathetic looks from grannys. Oh, I could go on, and on but I wont. Suffice to say at about 4.30 he was sent up to his room as he wouldnt play nicely with the Knex, DD was making a train. He kept throwing pieces, screaming and moaning at her. Gave the warnings, so in the end it went away. Absolutel meltdown, wouldn't listen to anything so put him in his room and shut the door. More screaming. Took 20 mins before he settled down. Had The usual not eating this or that dinner ordeal. Sausages were apparently pickley (??? wtf???) Then another tantrum when DDs friend went home just before bedtime. OH happy days!

We had a sausage incident today too MrsJH.
DS has been told constantly about pushing his plate away when he decides he's finished his dinner. Today he shoved it so hard in flew across the table and went down the back of the radiator. Off to time out.
He then spent the next half hour before his bath whining as I wouldn't let him have cake or watch a DVD.

DD should sleep well tonight, I'm BF but also had a , it was my birthday yesterday so i'm making the bottle last

Shodan I agree with the others that the preschool should be able to cope. My DS's preschool does the opposite they can go for 2 days but they recommend 3 days as they think they settle in better. My DS only does 2 mornings and he started when he was 2.5. Their policy for twice weekly children if they didn't settle was to have them in for an extra 3rd morning until they were settled.

DS had a little hitting phase at preschool before christmas and hit the teacher once and also on another occassion slapped a classmate. They use Time-out's in the classroom or you go upstairs to the leader's office for Time Out if the classroom one's aren't effective. It seemed to work for DS, he loves preschool now and has had no major incidents since Xmas.

They also provide you with their policy leaflet on behaivour/punishment and ask that you follow a similar routine at home which helps give consistancy. I stick to it by using the Time out's and praising good behavour and trying to ignore the bad. They also don't use the word naughty, but I don't see that much difference between saying "that is unacceptable" and "that is Naughty". Besides DS likes the Mr Men so is perfectly aware of what Naughty means.

Yep, they definitely should be able to cope with that Shodan.

Slightly different system here (Belgium) but children start pre-school (8 til 3 every day) at 2 and a half. It's not compulsory, but it's free and there's no creche/childcare alternative, so most working parents send their children. There are 26 children in a class (plenty of staff though!) and there are hugely varying levels of behaviour/readiness... but the staff just sort it out. You can, in theory, only send them in a few days a week, but the staff find that the children, particularly when they are on the younger end of the scale, just don't settle as well, and suggest every day, but finishing at 12 instead.

We had an incident a while ago where DD came home in tears - one of the boys in her class had put her jacket in the toilet. I went in the next day on the warpath - and the teacher came up to me straight away and told me all about the incident, how annoyed she was with the boy, what punishment he got etc etc. I came out of the meeting feeling sorry for the little guy! (Belgian teachers are strict !). Fast forward to yesterday - DD is playing with the little guy when I come to collect her. On the way home she tells me... "you know, S is the boy who put my jacket in the toilet and he never said sorry. But he got into trouble for it, so we're friends now". A few weeks ago she refused to even sit at the same table as him, no they're best buddies!