I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Bu*er buer bu*er. THe red mist descended here and I was doing so well!

DH has been away this week and I haven't lost my temper once except tonight when he's due home in two hours. Damn it! I'm so disappointed in myself.

And the worst hing was she was actually being really good! I was tyring to put her baby brother down to sleep. He is teething and was finding it difficult. She insists on being in the room and was being much quieter than you might expect, although making little movements and 'Look at me! I can talk without making any sounds' sounds. I'm tired and had a very emotional day today so I suppose that's why I lost my temper. Sigh.

They're both asleep now. I stayed with them both until they were asleep and was lovely. Six arsing days of being great, now what's the bet the first thing DH hears from DD tomorrow is how I lost it?

Driedapricots, when DS has been particularly bad, I've told him that I'll take him to the pet shop and swap him for a nice, quiet, well-behaved tortoise, so you're not alone

My DS insists that barefeet are simply "toes", so it's "look at her mummy, she has her toes on."

I am just catching up - work has been a bit and we got so fed up with the strops from Mr 3.6 that I ordered (on recommendation of a colleague) 1-2-3 Magic which has been a very simple but (so far!) effective revelation.

The strops have subsided, and just saying 1.....2... usually gets him to stop before we get to 3 (automatic timeout). So much so I get yells of NO! I Don't WANT a timeout! (answer: behave/stop then) and about 2/3 of the time he does stop.

So far it's worked on most strops (esp wanting more TV) and I am now pessimistically half expecting DS to be one of the toddlers for whom it works well to begin with then they revert... Anyway will keep you posted. Sadly only really works for stops, not getting him to bed!

He'll be a git tomorrow, I bet!

Yes, I too am constantly amazed by how angelic he is at nursery.
Completely different story when he gets home!
He was good as gold yesterday morning when the MWs came to visit for my HB assessment. He was fascinated listening to the baby's heartbeat.
And he entertained them by singing while I ran upstairs to sort out my pot of pee!

latrucha don't beat yourself up over it, you've done well to survive a week on your own with 2 little ones and not lose it until the last.

I'm on my own next week I'll be surprised if we make it to Monday lunchtime (and 3yo dd is at pre-school Monday morning!)

It'll be a real test of the new reward system we have in place for getting ready in the morning.

I cried hysterically reading this thread with both amusement about threeanger menkleness and sheer relief that it wasn't just us.

Our DS is 4 in June. DS is a complete shit or shine personality and you just never know which way its going to go, which is a shock after DD who is 8 and has always been so laid back, no tantrums, lovely natured (she does have bad points obviously).

I was at my wits end tonight with him he was having a complete meltdown tonight because he wanted to be in the bath with DD (he had already had a shower earlier). He just woud not accept this logic. He screamed and wailed kicked etc etc. I just put him in bed and shut the door. Not end to the day any of us wanted.

He argued with DH for a full half hour yesterday about not wanting to walk up the stairs.

DH was upstairs.

• Dad, I want to be with you

-Come up stairs then

• I cant my legs have run out of walking
• ok stay there then

-no you come and get me

• No you can walk up yourself. youre a big boy now

-noooooo -yes -DAD! I need you to come and get me. -no you come up -NO DAD I AM NOT HAVING THIS! YOU!

Thankfully DH just laughed. Which obviously made it worse.

He went up to a 12 year old boy in the park and said "you're fat" the other day. it was true. but.... i pretended i didn't hear and thought he won't do it again. But he did. Went up to him and said "you're fat". He wouldn't apologise. So everyones trip to park cut short. Felt sorry for DD. Where that comes from I have no effing idea as we don't talk, fat diets etc etc. oh the shame.

Someone else said earlier they find different ways to torture us every day. Its so true.

How can we have produced two that are so different?

We have just had and end of the world screaming and crying fit for about 15 min.

The reason? He wanted to help me clean the toilet with the brush. I told him I was ready and he said he didn't want to do it. I cleaned it myself and he changed his mind .

Blueeyedmonster - You have my sympathies that sounds the kind of thing DS would do. Yesterday he had a similar meltdown because DD was shelling peas for me.He decided he wanted to help, but didn't actually say this - he went to wash his hands but by the the time he had washed his hands she had finished - wailed and screamed for 10 minutes, tried to punch my arm etc. In the end I brokered a peace deal by letting him help me do DHs lunch for today. 'Nice' boy arrived and was all smiles and chatty.

When he is bad we actually call him by a different name (begins with same letter)this really worked with DD she used to behave straight away screaming NO! I am not (the other name)! Unfortunatley has little effect on DS, as does most other punishments.

I think actually DS is really two different people, and today the nice one is here .........so far He is definately the 'boy with the curl right in the middle of his forehead'... etc perhaps this was written about a 3-4 year old?!

MrsJoshHomme, if it's any consolation, my DS said 'That man has no hair' with reference to a bloke walking down the road beside us.
I studiously ignored him, only for him to bellow 'MAMMY, THAT MAN HAS NO HAIR'.
I could have wept.

Ages ago he did a similar thing referring to a man with yellow trainers on ('MAMMY, THAT MAN HAS YELLOW SHOES'). Cue everyone on the Metro train craning their necks to gawp at the man in yellow shoes.

He is currently fascinated with wind (farts, not weather), and last week told the woman on the checkout at the Co-Op, 'My Mammy pumps'

Do we have the same child MrsJoshHomme? They sound so alike!

Ds has been mostly brilliant since his episode this morning thank goodness.

PMSL Eaglebird, sorry shouldn't laugh, as it is just mortifying isn't it. But it is a great comfort to me (and my DH) that we are not the only ones, and I felt so much better last night after reading this thread.

Blueeyedmonster - they are either the same child, twins, or seperated at birth - DS has been a different child all day today, it was has been really lovely. Does that mean we are in for a terrible day tomorrow?

Latest tantrum?

Had to nip into local Asda with DS and DSS. There is an underground carpark under the store with cramped spaces due to all the concrete pillars and the over flow carpark just past the floor. Knowing that at that time of day, underground carpark will be busy, and needing to open door extra wide to get myself out (36 weeks pg), elected to go to overflow.

• DS "Noooooooooooo, go under shop!!!!"
• Me - "No it'll be too busy"

Cue him wailing and screaming, so decided to try underground car park. As predicted, very very busy and no suitable end spaces for me to park into.

• Me "DS we're going to the overflow there is no space here"
• DS "Nooooooooo, I don't want to!!!!!"

Park up in overflow carpark, and attempt to get kicking and screaming DS out of his car seat. Give up. Decide to try underground car park. - DS - "Nooooooo, I don't want to be in here!!!!" At this point I lose my temper and start shouting at him telling him I will take him home. - DS "Go park outside, I not cry now!"

Go park in overflow car park, where he has stopped wailing and is now being co-operative.

I think he realised that when I said we're going straight home, this meant no ice cream - I had promised DS and DSS earlier that they could have ice cream but needed to buy it from the shop...

I love this thread, it all sounds so familiar.

mrsjosh the stair saga is a common problem in this house.

I'm mostly sick of my dm 'helpfully' pointing out, ''she's never like this for me'' or ''you never went on like that''.

I would just like to apologise to anyone who was in M & S in Kingston last Sunday.

I know you all had pierced eardrums and cricked necks from whipping your heads around to see who was torturing that 3 year old child.

Good God almighty. Ds2 screamed all the way through. Fortunately DH was carrying him so his ears bore the brunt of the assault but I was mortified. It was the bloody bouncy castle's fault. DH and I didn't cover ourselves with glory either, hissing 'advice' at each other and stropping when it wasn't weel-met.

In our defence though, neither of us have had a good night's sleep since...I can't remember. Ds2 has decided that not only is 5.30 a.m a perfect get-up-and-hassle-everyone-till-they-give-in-and-get-up time, but that he should test our patience levels at regular intervals throughout the night as well.

WAAAAAAH! YOU'VE STOLEN MY TOYS!! GIVE ME MY TOYS!!

Ssh, ds2. All your toys are here, look. You kicked them off the bed.

NO I DIDN'T YOU STOLE THEM! GIVE THEM BACK!!

No, we didn't. Look, here they are. On the floor.

YOU STOLE THEM!!!

etc etc.

Always ends in a wild-eyed parent hissing threats about no grandma and grandpa visits/taking away toys/no stories again ever and so forth.

I hate the threes.

Poor you Kara, that sounds horrendous, esp 36 weeks prg.

I love this thread too it is soothing my woes of threeangerdom. This is the first time I have felt the need to MN since he was 12 months old.

Shodan, I feel your pain about 5.30 being the perfect time to wake up. DS does this too and hassles me (usually in a very physical rough manner), DH and DD until we all give in and wearily plod downstairs. We are not even allowed to nap on the sofa for fear of being jumped upon and our faces roughly man handled until we sit up wide eyed and bushy tailed.

Yes, we too had the toys missing in bed stress, not so much now. Although recently he has ousted a lot of toys to the bottom of the bed and won't have the anywhere near him, just two of his teddy comforters that he had from birth.

So far, things have been calm here this morning, although I am sure normal chaos will resume when I get him from preschool at 1pm.

I love this thread.

Tantrums have been fairly mild recently.... which means I'm bound to get one now that I've said that!

But we're caught in a full-blown case of the 'whys'. DD is bright and inquisitive, so the whys are often fairly mind-bending. In the past few weeks we've had:

• why does Cousin go to sleep in the morning (discussion of time zones)
• why does the moon sometimes look like a banana and sometimes look like a circle (cue discussion of moon phases - I'm not kidding, DH tried!)
• why do bees like some flowers but not others

All of these come out on the walk to or from pre-school, usually when I'm not at my brightest.

And then last week - over a few days I got:

• how does the baby (I'm 23 weeks preg) get out (I went with: I go to the hospital and the doctor helps)
• but how does it come out (went with - Mummies have a special place near their bottom for babies to come out - didn't think I needed more)
• but bottoms are small Mummy & babies are big... (I didn't answer that one, I was too busy picking myself up the floor from laughing. I haven't escaped yet, she's got the memory of an elephant & she'll pounce on me on the walk home soon)

And of course, we have now go our own special version of "no". Not "no I won't do that" but "no, what you have just explained is wrong". So I get "Mummy, where does the moon go at night". I give appropriate answer (scientificially correct, but simplified). She says "No it doesn't". Aaahhh.

She also looked at DH with a very sad little face yesterday, shook her head and said "Daddy, you have a very fat tummy". And then sighed as if he had really disappointed her

She3po - my DS really is an angel for just about everyone else except me and DH....

Shodan - yes we get similar.
DS - Can I have some crisps?
Me - No we don't have any.
DS - But I want some!!!
Me - I just told you, we don't have any!
DS - BUT I WANT SOME!!!!!!! x 100

As if that will make them magically appear

Vviola - DS is convinced the baby is coming out of my belly button....

Apparently DS has been very good at preschool and no problems. Apparently charmed the dinnerladies by telling them the saute potatoes were delicious and the best he'd ever tasted! What lies in store for me later I wonder?

vvviola, we have similar interrogations from DS, we had one about the circulation of blood around the body the other day. I tried my best but biology was not my strong point at school...... thank god I'm not prg too! Although DD has asked me in the past - I know I have the period 'chat' coming soon (she is 8) and she asked me more than once recently about my lilets in the bathroom and why I sometimes put a small 'nappy' in my pants

Shodan/Kara - yy

'I want a biscuit'
'we haven't got any left'
'but I want one'
'yes but there aren't any left'
'but I need one'
ad infinitum..........

Just got back from toddlers and we avoided one major meltdown as she got the one and only drum from the instrument box at song time but she decided to have another as I was holding her 11mo sister so she could stand and dance and not her. We're having majoy sibling rivalry atm, which I wasn't expecting as she was fine for the first 10 months!!!

I love threads like this. They help me feel I'm not alone and it's not my parenting causing what can only describe as baffling scenarios.

Thanks for posting and giving me a giggle.

On DS 2nd birthday (ok it was one day later) all hell broke loose with an almightily tantrum. We were in Pisa at the time and I thought someone had swapped him overnight. Then the fun began. Life was never the same. I character building year and 3 months ensued, then it escalated before dying down and balancing out to a fairly good ratio of 5 good days to 2 dodgy. The good thing s with all the practice from you terrible 2s/3s you have by then learnt quite a few angles to deal with the situation.

My favourite is when I'm in a no win situation is to switch my ears off. Announcing they won't work until he's being nice or no longer having a tantrum, it seems to work quite well. I do sometimes end up with a throbbing head. But he will come back after having a lovely 10 minute fit saying ?I?m happy now" then he carries on being nice as if nothing's happened. This is very very rare. Lucky I have a very short memory.

It does get better. x
A wig at this time may come is useful

Funny enough ds was really good again today too MrsJoshHomme

I wonder how long this will last and how big the fallout will be!

chocolatemonkey I love the 'turning ears off* thing. Fantastic must try it.

DD has been really good so far this week. We have headed off a few disagreements but why do they just have to be soooo contrary? What is that?

This afternoon I asked if DD would like to go for a walk

dd:yes
me: great you need to get 3 things and we can go. Get your socks, shoes and cardigan and I will help you put them on.
dd: no (and runs off)
me: I'm going to get DS ready then I will help you put your shoes and socks on please go and get them
dd: no (continues running around the kitchen like a nutcase)
me: so you don't want to go for a walk
dd: (screams) yes I want to go for a walk, go for a walk, go for a walk now
me: well get your things we can't go without them

This continued until DS was in his pram and I looked ready to leave and she had a meltdown because she thought I was going to leave without her.

I predict a mighty 'KABOOM!' style fallout Blueeyedmonster as DS has continued being angelic for the rest of the day.

Luckily, DM is picking DS up tomorrow and he is off to my parents house for a day with Granny and G'dad. I expect they will have him working in the allotment most of the day so that should keep him busy, bit of child labour will be good for him

Mum2twoloudbabies , that kind of conversation could apply to either of my two DS (3.11) and DD (8.1) . Its a wonder we ever get to school most days.