My daughter is annoying

[Mobby]

She's coming up for 10. She's always been annoying. Or attention seeking. I'm not sure which - possibly both.

It's almost like a nervous tic, she can't help herself.

For example, if things are quiet she'll do a ridiculous fake sneeze. If I'm concentrating on something she'll come up and tickle me. If I'm talking on the phone she'll start waving around to get my attention.

I know these examples are nothing out of the ordinary - but it's constant such behaviour - she just can't help herself, and cannot empathise as to how it feels to be on the constant receiving end.

She doesn't just do it to me. It's to everyone or in front of anyone. Over Christmas we had lots of guests and one of them asked me how I put up with her , which has prompted me to discuss it here.

She's doing well at school - no behavioural problems ever flagged by the teachers - and she has lots of friends.

What should I think about this? She can't go through life annoying people.

My attempts to correct her / explain to her / punish her for such behaviour over the years only seems to result in me showing how disappointed I am in her - and I don't want that. As soon as disappointment is shown from myself or DH, we see her face fall and she's upset but still carries on and does not learn. As I say, she can't seem to help herself.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

No advice in particular (one of mine has similar 'quirks'), but I am surprised by how horrid some posters on here have been. Mobby, you sound like a sensitive amd caring mother, and some posters here are looking for a fight quite unnecessarily. I hope some of the helpful advice works.

Thank you Nelly.

I too have a quirky fun-loving child who can be pretty full on. I too find her hard work at times. My child is fun, lives for fun and creates fun....I love her to pieces but I still find her hardwork. No apologies for that, she is who she is and I am who I am. We amble along and for most part, we connect.

Just came accross this thread as I was struggling with same problem. I haven't read all the thread, just want to say that she is annoying because she wants your attention, she needs more than you can/want give her, probably because she is genuinely annoying so it is a downward spiral. I think we cannot like all our children the same even if we love them all, personalities clash are inevitable and we get on better with some than others. They obviously pick that up and it is very tricky to handle right. I try to focus on the qualities of my annoying one and it does help, but for that I need to have had enough sleep, not to be stressed by work or husband, and keep a serene attitude despite the terrible state of the house. Easier said than done.

The child on the op will now be 17 @lazy, you're 7 years too late to this zombie thread

I was like this as a child.

I am an extrovert and my parents aren't. I needed more time to talk and process stuff out loud but as a child didn't know how to verbalise that. Instead I made stupid noises ans that sort of thing.

I also wanted more attention from my parents who were quite caught up in their lives (parent with a disability and both with depression). Again, I didn't know how to verbalise that with them as we didn't really talk about stuff.

Ah fuck just replied to a zombie thread. Arse.

Do you think there may be a chance that she would like to get involved with crafting. Something like making Jewellery with bead threading, she could sell them for charity. It would keep her occupied, for some of the time, with a goal at the end.

Zombie alert !
Wonder how they are all doing now

😂😂 POSH, I expect that she'll have grown out of it now !

Mobby,

It's unlikely you'll read my message as you asked for help eight years ago and got very little other than condemnation. However, there's a chance you might do and also a chance other suffering mothers will read it and benefit from it.

Please research 'Pathological Demand Avoidance' as one of the main symptoms is molestation. Not sexual molestation but general irritating behaviour that benefits no-one and appears compulsive. This behavior is torturous as it is unrelenting and no genuine apology is ever offered. It is way beyond annoying, which all children are to an extent.

Why is it that so many mothers pounce on mothers who admit to finding their child hard to cope with? Why is it a taboo? This just leads to mothers feeling guilty when they really need sympathy. It also puts other mothers off admitting their concerns and results in bottled up resentments and frustrations, which isn't healthy.

If Mobby's daughter does in fact have PDA, it's much better her mother speaks out honestly so that someone like me, a mother of a PDA girl, can reach out a hand of sympathy and understanding, and offer advice, which would benefit both mother and daughter.

Please don't attack mothers who admit they find their child difficult. Some children really are very very difficult. Some even have disabilities that make them difficult.

My older sister at that age was very annoying. Touched one of her sweets, she would start screaming and crying without any regard to if it was someone elses house. She would snitch and she had a peck of blaming. She was pampered by her father to be a brat, Now she is calmer, we all change but still has attitude. However looking back, if your daughter is annoying she deserves a massive smack on the cheek, should be isolated and should be disciplined harshly. not pampered.