Please please help, a family on the edge - I'm getting desperate

[MrsBubsDeVere]

Can someone offer any words of wisdom? We really really are a family at breaking point all because of our 6 year old daughter.

Since she started school 12 months ago her behaviour has got progressively worse. Whilst she was off school during the 6 weeks holiday, her behaviour improved slightly. But, since she has gone back to school she has become a different child.

From the minute she opens her eyes, she is nasty, obnoxious, shouting she hates us and that she wants mummy and daddy to leave home, the other night when I sent her to bed at 6pm for bullying her sister, as she was going upstairs she shouted 'I'll make you pay for this mummy'.

She used to be fantastic at going to bed, she used to go at 7 and go to sleep straight after her film finishes, now she is up and down constantly, wanting more and more drinks instead of the usual one.

Tonight for instance she went to bed at 7, she asked for a video then changed her mind 3 times, in the end dh said tough you have the one on now or nothing and came down, so, she trashed her bedroom climbed up to a very high shelf (it nearly touches the ceiling) got her remote and started to change it herself and then pressed the wrong button and came down herself (She KNOWS she is not allowed to mess with ANY electrical appliance). Obviously she then started kicking everything in site screaming and throwing a tantrum shouting that she hates us etc.

Dh and I have just sat down, we have thrown our evening meal in the bin and I really feel that we are a family on the edge, he behaviour is so out of hand dh and I don't know how to cope and we are frightened for her little sister as she bullies her all the time.

Please please help, I haven't even changed my name for this so some of the ladies I speak to on MSN will no, I have probably missed things out as I am also in such a state, crying etc, I don't know what to do and already dread tomorrow morning.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally agree with you bunnyboo, dh would go spare if I said I wanted to sell both of them and also the kid's dvd players.

could you put it in a different room for a bit so she can still watch what she wants but you have more control? then it could be moved back into ther room after a week of good behaviour (as a compromise with dh). sounds like dh isnt taking this very seriously and tbh you are going to have a very hard time changing anything if he doesnt cooperate

Well hon, you need to work out what you think and talk to the man and get a plan in place, I reckon. Really sounds like your differences in approach aren't helping. Sorry if that's blunt but I reckon things will improve if you get a sit down together with a piece of paper and write down your family rules. Then agree your consequences for breaking them and any rewards (extra attention, pocket money, etc) on offer for abiding by them.

am afraid i agree with your dh - better she get use out of the telly and continue to be a brat than not to use the telly at all.

no really c'mon surely the man would cut off his left bollock to attempt to make sure your daughter grows into a well balanced well mannared delightful child. never mind just take her stuff away for a few weeks.

think of it this way - what incentive would you have to behave if you parents never kept to the negative sanctions they set you, you got your own way and got to keep everything ever bought you. in short - all you have to do is be brattish when set a punishment and nothing changes - there is no encouragement to change. you got to get your hubby to recognise that the social wellbeing of your kid is more important than the telly - and if your really at breaking point - surely he would give anything a try?

sounds harsh - and dont mean to be twatish my kids are a nightmare too from time to time - but rarely rude - and NEVER to other people.

Agree with others - Check if she's being bullied/intimidated at school - she's already mentioned this girl who sits on her desk and says stuff - that might be having more impact than she's letting on. If this girl frightens her, and she daren't stand up to her, it's kind of natural that she's being aggressive at home where she's trying to regain self esteem by taking it out on people she's not scared of. Good luck