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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

'Can I pat your furry bottom?'

44 replies

Caththerese1973 · 07/09/2005 14:20

My dd, 2.6, has notcied my 'furry front bottom' (as she calls it) and sometimes wants to pat it! I don't want to be a fascist or make her feel funny about women's genitals...but I feel a bit weird about letting her pat her my pubes. I know my (ex) dp would think I was completely depraved if I did let her.
I was talking to my hippie friend about this and she said she lets her kids pat her 'fur' whenever they want.
Does this come up with other people? (I am not, by the way, one of those people who walks around naked all the time. DD just follows me around all day - into toilet, into shower - so of course she notices.)

OP posts:

SleepyJess · 07/09/2005 14:21

Shave it off??

vickitiredmum · 07/09/2005 14:22

PMSL Cath

My DD enquires about mine often and goes to pat it! I usually just laugh and then distract her so's she doesnt get funny about it later.

vickitiredmum · 07/09/2005 14:22

sleepyjess

jampots · 07/09/2005 14:23

cat! what a dilemma.

No i wouldnt let her pat it for no other reason than it is covered by your knickers (most of hte time) and this is a good way of explaining her "personal bits" and the fact that people shouldnt touch there.

jampots · 07/09/2005 14:24

actually the answer is right there - buy her a cat!

vickitiredmum · 07/09/2005 14:25

How wierd is it that my DD has caught sight of my DP using the toilet and stands there trying to imitate on occasion even though she doesnt have the right bits!

nailpolish · 07/09/2005 14:30

just let her pat it! itll satisfy her curiosity and she probably wont ask again

my dd had a terrible episode when she escorted her big boy (aged 3) cousin to the toilet and saw him weeing with a willie, she then took her turn and tried to pull her little flower over the top of the toilet to do the same

then that night she got really upset in the bath after giving the flower on close inspection and getting the fright of her life when she saw her clitoris - wailing "ive got a willie" and sobbing her little heart out

the only way to console her was to show her mine and let her know girls have this as part of their flower

brightstar1 · 07/09/2005 14:41

glad i've only got boys!!!

sweetkitty · 07/09/2005 14:42

DD pokes my pubes if she sees me getting undressed etc also does it with my nipples (she was BF for a year) and the mole on my back she's only 13 mo so I just distract her.

My DP sits down to go to the toilet and she wants to poke his willy too he freaks out and hides it.

SleepyJess · 07/09/2005 14:47

Ah kids!! Dh used to love to bath with DS2 (5 and who has cp and learning difficulties and is very impulsive.. has to GRAB everything!).. as they used to have a great time pouring water over each other's heads and playing.. it was a great opportunity for safe water play for DS as when we lean over the bath to wash him it has to be quick because he is so unstable..

But he developed a real interest in DH's willy.. apart from the iappropriate-ness of it all he would pull it HARD and hurt DH! He still sometimes baths with him but wears swimming shorts.. although DS still remembers a roars WILLY! WILLY! joyfully!!

CountessDracula · 07/09/2005 15:10

oh yes let her

DD was in my room when I was getting dress and suddenly piped up "oh mummy, your minky is SO beautiful" !!?!?!!?!?

staceym11 · 07/09/2005 15:43

if you feel uncomfortable with letting her then explain that these are peoples private parts and other people should not touch them until she is grown up like mummy and daddy, this will also help if (god forbid) anyone tried to touch her inappropriately she would understand that thats not ok

handlemecarefully · 07/09/2005 15:52

I don't want to give my kids any hang ups, but I've always taken the line that these bits of our bodies are private and for ourselves only. As an aside, quite useful general approach in terms of guarding against possible abuse of small children too.

I think I've got the right balance. We don't cover up and act all 'prudey', and are quite often in the buff

handlemecarefully · 07/09/2005 15:53

I see that I am agreeing with you stacey

handlemecarefully · 07/09/2005 15:53

CD - and is it?

Enid · 07/09/2005 15:55

I would let her but hope thats the last time. Mine eye mine with suspicion so I doubt they will be asking tbh

handlemecarefully · 07/09/2005 16:00

yes my dd looks vaguely repulsed

chloe55 · 07/09/2005 16:52

I agree with Stacey and HMC - at least that way they are aware that it is not 'ok' to touch anyones privates but without making it sound really prudish

CountessDracula · 07/09/2005 16:54

errrrrr... no! Well not especially I don't think It did make me pmsl though!

jampots · 07/09/2005 17:01

By jampots on Wednesday, 7 September, 2005 2:23:12 PM

cat! what a dilemma.

Why does no one acknowledge what I say ?

morningpaper · 07/09/2005 17:07

I think that the fact she has asked first shows that she is not sure whether this is appropriate or not, so I agree with jampots (she'll be pleased to know) that it's a good time to explain about private parts blah blah.

If she had gone ahead and 'patted it' I would have just let it pass though.

Obviously I shave all mine off though

(however am 8.5 months pregnant and DH walked into the bathroom last night while I was shaving my bits with the assistance of TWO mirrors - I felt like a right prat).

Pinotmum · 07/09/2005 17:10

This has reminde dme of when my dd said to my dh in the toilet "you have a lovely willy". Dh was worried she'd say it at school and we'd have social services round Ds usually points in disgust and says "mummy you have fluff on you" as if I should wipe it off. Wish we had a lock on the bathroom door

shhhh · 07/09/2005 21:12

Oh my god I have pmsl!!!!! I can't ofer any advice or any stories..mainly because dd is only 16 weeks...Sounds like we have all of this to come ! DD did however look at my bum today while I was getting dressed, she wouldn't take her eyes off it which made me slightly self conscious (sp)! Just what was she thinking ????

magnolia1 · 07/09/2005 21:32

My twins (age 6) are insistent that they have willys hiding away and they were once boys but tirned into girls

handlemecarefully · 07/09/2005 22:00

Jampots - you're right. You said it first! Sorry for missing your 2.23 post on first reading. Eminently sensible contribution you made there...

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