Atrocious behaviour in shops - share you horror stories here..

[howdidthishappenthen]

I've just taken DS1 (3yrs) and DD1(6m) into a clothes shop for the first time since she was born. Prepped for action by taking new library books and a snack for DS1, and bf-ing DD1 before venturing through the door.

These efforts brought me 6 minutes of quiet cooperation before both started playing up. Had to decide between letting DS1 loose, and hissing dire threats at him for running between the racks and whipping open curtains in the changing rooms (fortunately, we were the only people in there!) or strapping him in the buggy and dealing with the buckaroo antics and ear shattering shrieks. DS1 added to the merriment by grizzling miserably throughout. 15 mins after entering, and without trying on a single garment, the shop assistant suggested, through gritted teeth, that I might prefer to 'come back later when you have more time'. To which I replied that I had plenty of time, but too many children.

Thoroughly miserable about the whole event. Feeling destined to forevermore to only wear clothes that don't quite fit but can be ordered online.

Cheer me up by sharing your shopping related tales of woe, pls ladies..

I've lost count of the number of French sticks I've had to buy because DS runs straight to them and takes a bite before I can catch him. Ditto carrots - that one's really embarrassing because they're sold by weight and the teeth-marks are quite obvious

I feel your pain. It's crap.

I had to haul DD (just turned 4) out of a shop last week after warning her what would happen if she didn't stop dribbling her drink everywhere (it would go in the bin.)

Deliberate dribble, coupled with sly look.

So the two of us exited towards the bin outside with her hollering 'Let me gooooooo, you wicked old witch. You are HURTING me. YOU ARE HURTING ME!!!.'

We walked past an older couple and the bloke grinned at me and said out of the corner of his mouth 'I want to laugh at that, but I won't love.'

Oh yes, that "You HURT me!" in such an accusatory tone ... as if they'd just been leathered rather than firmly steered outside.

Oh yes.

I can't wait for number 2 to arrive and have the joy of training twice as many children round the shops ... Tesco Online here we go

I'm feeling a bit better now - just managed a weak smile..

My DD quite likes the cascade effect she gets when she sticks her arm straight out while walking past a display shelf of smallish things. DS loves to sneak things into the trolley at the supermarket. Other than that I've been lucky so far with only the occasional traditional Ikea tantrum and frequently needing to abandon the trolly half-way through shopping to go for a wee.

Dd2 (agen just 3 at the time) stood up in the trolley and pissed all over her dads cooked chicken...........

Not a shop but a cafe, local Costa because i wouldn't let dd (3) go to with her friend to her friends olders brothers school at pick up time threw herself in front of the large glass doors, screeching, screaming and wailing therefore preventing anyone from leaving or entering. I had to forcibly remove her being accused of hurting her the whole time whilst trying to wrestle a crying ds (5m at the time I think) out in his pram at the same time. We brought the cafe to a standstill.

Even better is i work for the local CAMHS team and the parents of 2 of my patients were in there....observing my finely honed parenting skills.

A couple of years ago I was in Matalan looking at the Christmas cards. I turned around to see my three dcs 6,4 and three stark naked and bouncing on a pile of carpets. To make matters worse they scattered in different directions whilst I ran after them. {blush]

Dd1 aged about 18 months climbed up a pyramid of building sand in B&Q and refused to get down, I was heavily pregnant and tried to climb up after her but got scared as the bags started to slip, so had to leave her there, run to a member of staff to get his stairs on wheels thingy and get her down

Apart from the usual tantruming and me hissing and fish wife-ing..
I remember physically dragging my then 3 yr old dd over the threshold of tescos with her screaming 'NO NO NOT TESCOS! I HATE TESCOS - I WANT TO GO TO ASDA, ASDA MUMMY NOT TESCOS!!!' Got a from the security guard

OK. Now I feel better. Esp ref the pooing in M&S incident. Clearly age 3-4 is the worst bit. So only another 4 years, and I can enter a shop with confidence.

Secondcoming - did you clear it up or leave it there?

Must admit - I stopped taking mine shopping with me. Most things I order online, and shopping for clothes I do on a weekend when dh can look after the children (or when my children - older now - are at school). Just find the whole shopping with children thing a PITA. Now they are big strapping 6 and 8 year olds and I still don't take them shopping with me!

I queue in waterstones with DS2 who was SCREAMING. I remember the rueful smile the assistant exchanged with me when I put my copy of toddler taming on the counter.

I remember DD having such a huge hissy in a department store that I had shoppers on that floor wandering over to see what the ruckus was.
I am of the 'do not reward or recognise the behaviour' school so I was standingto one side viewing my nails and I will never forget the nice management type who came over and tried to turn 'will you get that screaming thing out of here' into a customer friendly sentence

I just want to say to secondcoming that your story has given me my first laugh in a very black week. I shall keep it right in the front of my mind and it will give me a smile when I need it. Oh, by the way, I do feel your pain!

I very seldom took the kids shopping - and only do now if I want clothes for them - but two incidents do spring to mind with DD1.

In the first one she was about 14 months and in her buggy. We went through H+M and out again and then into another clothes shop. At that point I noticed DD was holding a clothes hanger with a top attached - she must have swiped it off the rail somehow. So I grab it back and try to find the rail it came from, when I realise it's a piece of clothing from H+M, not the shop were in - she somehow managed to take it out of the shop without the security alarm going off. I had wild fantasies then of a security guard following me and rushed back into H+M and apologised to the nearest assistant, who was clearly baffled that I had decided to come back with it instead of disappearing with the booty (which was incidentally a disgusting top in the wrong size - DD could have shown better taste!). Apparently we got through the electronic beeper because the item was between the bars of DD's metal buggy, and that confuses the tag. Good to know, eh!

In the second incident, DD was a bit older and getting into her terrible twos stride. We were in a new supermarket and landed in the toy aisle by mistake. DD toddles up to a mahoosive Tellytubby soft toy and says 'mine'. We try to distract, placate, somehow get her away from this damn toy, but she's a toddler, so no, she gets down on the floor and has an all-out tantrum, tears, screaming, the lot. She'd never been that bad before, and to be honest we were a bit startled (now, a bit more experienced, one of us would have picked up said toddler pronto and carried her out to car park to have tantrum in peace). So while DD screams on the floor, this sanctimonious little madam of a 7-year-old (and all girls of that age are horribly self-righteous) comes by, sees her and says to her mum. 'I never did anything like that, did I Mummy?' And blooming mumsy says 'No my darling, you were never like that child'.
Needless to say, we never went back to that supermarket.

Rofl at some of the stories, you have all made me feel so much better. We came back to England from overseas, me desperate to shop and the dc never really having shopped before in their lives.

Cue several tragic incidents, notably one in M&S when dd (8) pushed ds1 (6) face first between the underwear-clad norks of a lifesize photo of a model shouting 'snog her, gwan on' whilst ds2 (3) ran around shouting 'she's naaaked, she's naaaked'.

Having moved overseas and becoming a SAHM, I have to take DD1(4) and DD2(2½) to do all shopping.

One day in the super market DD2 deliberately threw a litre of youghurt on the side of the shopping trolley and the floor. Que youghurt EVERYWHERE - on shelves, shopping, floor etc.

Eh, excusez-moi!?

You could just see them rolling their eyes at foreigners and their ill behaved brats :)

Zoo and TSC - you have just made me holler with laughter at your stories of naked scattered boys and poo on springS.

thesecondcoming I am crying with laughter. I really needed that. Thank you (and to Kate)

This is the reason I never go to ASDA.

DS1 was about 4 and going through a tricky stage. He decided that he really wanted a lemon, when I said no he threw a massive tantrum. This jolly looking ASDA collegue came up to us as I was trying to deal with him and tried to gee him up. He screamed at her and threw the lemon hard in the face. I was so embarrased I just told her how sorry I was and left, leaving a trolley full of shopping too.

I am so embarrased I cant go back incase she remembers me (not likely she will forget)

Also there was a time when we went into Debenhams and he saw a naked mannequin and shouted at the top of his voice - 'Boobies'