Atrocious behaviour in shops - share you horror stories here..

[howdidthishappenthen]

I've just taken DS1 (3yrs) and DD1(6m) into a clothes shop for the first time since she was born. Prepped for action by taking new library books and a snack for DS1, and bf-ing DD1 before venturing through the door.

These efforts brought me 6 minutes of quiet cooperation before both started playing up. Had to decide between letting DS1 loose, and hissing dire threats at him for running between the racks and whipping open curtains in the changing rooms (fortunately, we were the only people in there!) or strapping him in the buggy and dealing with the buckaroo antics and ear shattering shrieks. DS1 added to the merriment by grizzling miserably throughout. 15 mins after entering, and without trying on a single garment, the shop assistant suggested, through gritted teeth, that I might prefer to 'come back later when you have more time'. To which I replied that I had plenty of time, but too many children.

Thoroughly miserable about the whole event. Feeling destined to forevermore to only wear clothes that don't quite fit but can be ordered online.

Cheer me up by sharing your shopping related tales of woe, pls ladies..

So he doesn't believe in the tooth fairy or Father Christmas? Cool, will save you a fortune!!!
And thanks for making me Google Dawkins, never heard of him before, but some funny and thought provoking quotes.

hopefully you have someone you can leave them with whilst you shop. Ah but the wisdom of a just 11 yr old,shopping with my daughter recently in Tesco. the 6yr old still loves to whoosh about in the clothes racks seeing how far they will swing before all cascading to the floor I gently tried to get him to stop saying everyone was looking etc etc, my DD said Mummy its only for me to tell him off, before I could respond, D 11 yr old said Well, right now you are not doing a very good job of it are you Mum. and sauntered on!!!!!! we had to laugh.

thesecondcoming thanks so much for the laugh, dp and I are in tears!

I am crying at TSC's jewellery box tale. My DD has one and I do not think I can open it without thinking of the special item revolving!

Oh just in case you think it gets better as they grow older...

Was in a very posh department store buying clothes for DS who is 14. DD was a bit bored but understood that she had to behave and put up with it. She is 12 by the way. At the end, DS told me that she had pulled off the fake moustaches of the mannequins (there was some sort of fancy gangster type display) in the whole floor of the men's department. I was too busy helping DS to notice. She placed the moustaches on their faces in an ad hoc fashion.

This is such a brilliant thread, my anti shopping toddler stories are not nearly so amusing but DS (2yrs) has a tendency, upon crossing the threshold of a shop (in buggy), to shriek at top his voice "THAT WAY MUMMY (pointing to the door behind him), OUTSIDE... NOW MUMMY... THAT WAY, NO NO NO SHOP, (que sobbing, pram bucking), OUTSIDE... THAT WAY' etc etc until we leave.

Oh and last week we were walking to the local post office and he was being a bit stroppy so I said if he walked nicely to the post office to post Nan and Pop's present and home again he could have a treat. First and only time will EVER do that, mostly it was cos I'm dieting and figured stealling his sweets wouldnt count as cheating too much. As soon as we got to the post office he was pulling all the chocolate off the shelves "my treat, my treat" so I make him sit on the floor by my feet as I get parcel weighed and OMG hysteria ensued, sobbing and snot for miles "sorry mummy sorry mummy, treat now?" "only if you sit nicely and wait for Mummy to finish" tantrum ramps up to all time high and the post office lady and I can barely hear each other and the kids waiting behind me are in jaw dropped amazement.

Suffice to say no treats were purchased and about 8 seconds after leaving the shop he was hunky dory fine and lovely again!!!

Crying with laughter at the Mermaid poo!

My DD was about 8/9 months old when I was trying to do the Christmas shopping. Her favourite trick was to give her cutest smile to a passer by, who would then try to talk to her. Cue DD screaming hystericallly and said passer by backing away apologetically. It was awful, I had to apologise to so many nice OAPs that year!

Ds1 decided to spin the revolving book tower at the library at great speedy. All the paperbacks flew out like fireworks from the Eiffel Tower at the Millenium. Librarian was very unimpressed even though we both helped put them back.

These posts have really cheered me up as thought I was only one who found it impossible to cross the threshold of a shop without an incident. The poo one in the jewellery box had me laughing out loud. My DD aged 2 hates shopping and her pushchair, always wants to walk but won't hold my hand or have reins on. Decided to foolishly try and buy a new top the other day, had already plied her with all the food I could find in my handbag but she had eaten it all and was pestering me to get out of her pushchair in the changing room, BIG MISTAKE, I let her out while I tried the top on, but trying to get her back in was another matter. Managed to prise her back in and get straps done up with much screaming, decided to queue up to pay for top and pretend to ignore everyone staring at me whilst she is going ballastic. Paid for top feeling quite good that I had bought top and her tantrum had not made me swiftly put it back and leave like I normally would. Continued to ignore her as she was past the point of no return now with the tantrum and was trying desperately in Nigel Mansell fashion to hot foot it to my car when I smell a funny smell. Look down and she has puked all down herself in a rage, (right outside M&S on the busy high street for full effect) and spent next 10 minutes using a packet of wipes to scrape vomit off her and pushchair (blush), my DS is 5 and he's not much better, although no vomiting thankfully!