Why do people I meet insist on giving their opinion

[pandavark]

Every time I go to the shops or something I get asked "whats his name?", when I say it they either say "what" and I have to repeat it about three times and then they give me a sort of fake smile as if they dont know what to say. i know they think its so disgusting they dont even know what to say. but i find it so rude because its obvious they hate it, time they should just pretend they heard me the first time or something. i went to a doctor the other day and he said "this is the first time we've had a v in here, very strange!" pronouncing it wrong. thing is, its a very traditional and well known literary name, is a roman name which has been in my family for years, made me sort of wary of a doctors opinion who did not know how to pronounce it. i hate how people subtly judge names every day and make faces and judge you as a weirdo because of it. if i met someone with a disgusting name i would have an open mind to it growing on me. i would be so careful not to let it slip that i found it odd.

You are right, people should not give their opinion about your ds's name.

Tell us what it is! I promise to be nice

what is the name?

go on. tell us the name!

virgil
tis a family tradition
ive heard more shocking, i mean its not a made up name.
people say "WHA? VIRGIN?"

It is a very unusual name.

i know that. i just didnt expect adults to be so judgemental.

How on earth can "Virgil" be mispronounced?? I think it's lovely, anyway.
A good, solid classical name. Your doctor is an ass.

TBH people's reactions don't surprise me that much.

But he's your son and if you love the name, that's all that matters.

The problem is people do judge on names all the time, and you can't do much about that.

Wasn't one of the Thunderbirds called that? see - a 'sleb' name!

So now no-ones heard of Virgil ffs! I too have this problem with DS's name and it drives me batty. We also have the issue of no-one being able to spell his name and that drives me nuts too. It's 5 letters and not complicated!

Anyway, I love it (Virgil) and think you should tell people to get away and have a look on Wilkipedia.

on your behalf!

I agree that people should not be rude

but you surely realised when you chose that name that you would have to constantly repeat it and/or spell it out?

I always ALWAYS wanted to be Lady Penelope and have a pink Rolls Royce.

vur-gull (hard 'G') he said.

he should have met my relations. there were triplets called vergilius, camillus and cornelius.

you can't really blame people for not having heard of the name.

But of course they shouldn't be judgemental.

im no intellect but i could both pronounce and spell Virgil.

the more i think about it, the more i like it.

i didnt think it would be too much of a big deal. i live in an area with many different ethnicities and some wonderfully unusual names. i thought the name of the most famous roman poets of all time would be one the most traditional on the street. haha

Personally, I think Virgil is a wonderful name.

But you do need to be quite thick-skinned and self-confident if you are going to use an unusual name. Perhaps after a while you will get used to it and learn to just not care.

Oh god, I may have tried to pronounce it with a hard G - I'm sorry.

I would never, ever, be rude about someone's name choice though. It is entirely up to that person what they call their child. I have some names that my parents will HATE lined up for my baby but they will have to grin and be polite about it!

I could have mispronounced it as well.

If you choose an unusual name, then please don't be offended and judgmental when people mispronounce it - just politely correct them.

They probably think you've named him after the Thunderbird (oiks!). Audentis fortuna iuvat - as your son's namesake would say.

What - you mean there was another Virgil??!

Virgil is a very old name. It might not be in frequent use these days (which is probably why you get so much of a reaction) but it is hardly unknown. Just wait, once the Archie/Alfie/Victor/Hector phase has passed everyone will be calling their baby boys Virgil. You're ahead of the game.

When people react - and they will - just explain/educate them that is a Roman name, appears in literature throughout the ages and what's more it is a family name. They'll look like thicko/small minded people if they still have an on going problem with it. Whatever you do - keep positive and don't get upset or offended. It's their problem not yours. Also little Virgil will learn from you. If you are proud and confident about his name, he will be too.

Them: What's his name?
You: (loudly and clearly) VIRGIL - great isn't it? It is unique but a classic, Roman, literary name.

BTW I love the names of your relatives too!

People always ask the name when you go out with little kids.

I don't get why you are offended by a fake smile - would you prefer it if they said "I hate that name?". I think the fake smilers are trying to be polite!

great name

sod what people think

the first of many judgements about your parental skills no doubt, its not you everyone gets it to some degree or other. its only once i had kids i realised how judgemental people can be

suggestions:

• hard hat/suit of armour
• witty riposte
• pretend you don't understand them/haven't heard them
• "accidentally" stand on their foot/drop liquid on them from a height etc
• give them a fake smile and wander off

after a few years of outrage i usually settle for the last option

I get the same with both my DS's names, particularly DS1 (his name being Fyfe).

Even some of my family made comments about it when he was born - my Dad even refused to call him by his name for the first few months(but he is a prat!)