Why do people I meet insist on giving their opinion

[pandavark]

Every time I go to the shops or something I get asked "whats his name?", when I say it they either say "what" and I have to repeat it about three times and then they give me a sort of fake smile as if they dont know what to say. i know they think its so disgusting they dont even know what to say. but i find it so rude because its obvious they hate it, time they should just pretend they heard me the first time or something. i went to a doctor the other day and he said "this is the first time we've had a v in here, very strange!" pronouncing it wrong. thing is, its a very traditional and well known literary name, is a roman name which has been in my family for years, made me sort of wary of a doctors opinion who did not know how to pronounce it. i hate how people subtly judge names every day and make faces and judge you as a weirdo because of it. if i met someone with a disgusting name i would have an open mind to it growing on me. i would be so careful not to let it slip that i found it odd.

Forgot to say - I like Virgil too.

I never comment unfavourably but I don't think that you can blame the fake smile! I don't like it, so I expect that the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment is 'how unusual'.

It's Fergal in Irish (with a hard G, because there's no J or J sound in Irish), and I knew quite a few growing up.

Everyone has an opinion on everything to do with a baby -- you become public property when you become a mum. When your children are young, it's the only time of your life when people will rudely and freely chip in with every unfiltered thought that strikes them. They say things to new mothers that they wouldn't dream of saying to anyone else.

PS -- One of my granddad's brothers had the middle name Michaelangelo.

Its a great name!! Sod 'em. For what its worth no-one has ever come out with much positive about either of my dds' names despite them being far less interesting than yours.

Virgil is fab!!

I like Virgil. I know one actually, a grown-up one though . Obviously I have also read a little bit of the Aeneid, pity you didn't bump into me!

I really like the name Virgil. It reminds me of the Divine Comedy.

Fab, fab name. I know it's classical but it also makes me think of Thunderbirds - but in a very good, solidly masculine kinda way so please don't be offended by that.

People who react in a werid way are displaying both ignorance and a total lack of manners.

Virgil is a FAB name (did Classics at school and loved it). I'd love to call my son Homer, but the Simpsons kinda killed that one

I'd do what Libby Lobster said - just look amazed at anyone who hasn't heard of Virgil... ;)

I agree: people who react in a weird/rude way simply display their ignorance and have no manners.

I much, much prefer to meet a Virgo than yet another Jack or Alfie and I will definately remember him better too!

Great name choice!

The previous post is a joke, surely?

Oi, I have a Jack

Living in Berkeley (read: Land of the Crazy, but gotta love it, all the same) the only polite way to respond to an unusual name is 'how interesting! how did you come to choose it?'

Other pointers for rude people (now plugging recommended standard issue response for when you meet a pregnant women): 'you look lovely!'(this is an improvement on 'wow, you're waddling!')

(upon meeting new baby): 'what a beautiful baby' (yup - don't guess the sex) (also an improvement on 'looks like generic white baby to me')

Grrr. Totally sympathize with OP. Why are people SO rude when you are preg/have baby/toddler?

To those of you with older kids, does this ever end?!

oi i have a jack as well leave jack alone its a fantastic name

It's extremely rude, IMO, to comment on a person's name whether they be a baby or an adult.

I have nothing against the name Jack and I know many lovely Jacks, so sorry if my post came across as offensive.

What I meant was that I find it refreshing to meet a child with a different name. I find it easier to remember this person because I don't know anyone else with this name.

I've recently met so many adult Steves (dads at school, builders, colleages) that I really have a hard time remembering their names, honestly.

We get that a lot, I am spanish with an unusual name but very easy to pronounce (spelling?) and my DD is as my nick says. They call her Elaine at the Doctors every single time we go, and I say its a french version of Elaine,not very difficult. But I got a nurse saying "You wha'?" when I said the name. Very very rude. But after many years one gets used to it...

I have an unusual name so people often have to ask me to repeat it. Normally people aren't openly rude but if they say 'oh that's unusual' or something like that then I immediately launch into how it is a Shakespearean name, and normally that shuts them up without me having to be rude back because they then feel ignorant.

You're being a bit precious, to be honest. Virgil is unusual enough for people to not be sure they've caught it right the first time.

It's essentially 'foreign' to most people in this country, so they just want you to repeat it to ensure that they've got it right. I bet you'd get the same if he was called Sigrid.

As for people being "rude" for smiling (which means "its obvious they hate it"), well what do you want them to do? That is a polite social response. Personally, I don't like the name Virgil at all, but I wouldn't want to be offensive so I'd probably smile and say that it was unusual. It would be madness for me to throw myself into paroxysms of delight that I didn't feel just because you're all chippy about his name.

Do you honestly expect everyone to wet themselves with enthusiasm at your choice? You're being a bit loony - you don't get parents of Rosies and Jacks on here griping that random strangers haven't had an orgasm over what they've named their offspring.

Here's a test for you: You're talking to someone in the playground and she introduces you to her daughter called, God - I don't know - Chardonnay-Mae.

You (a)aren't quite sure you've heard it right because it's unfamiliar to you - did she say Charmaine? Charley-Rae? and (b)you're thinking "that poor girl!" because you dislike the name.

So you ask the mother to repeat it. She does. Yep, definitely Chardonnay-Mae.

Do you gush "oh, how gorgeous! What a pretty and original name!" or do you give her "a sort of fake smile as if they dont know what to say."?

You like his name, his father likes his name, he (hopefully) likes his name. That's all that matters. Unless someone is actually offensive about it, don't waste your time worrying about whether other people like it or not.

I thought he was called Vespasian until you revealed! Virgil's OK. I think maybe you're a bit insecure and are reading too much into people's responses.
I sometimes get blank looks/giggles/bemusement when I tell people my DS' name, but I just tell myself that if they're really that fussed they'll either ask there and then or go home and Google it...otherwise....who cares what they think?
So what they've never heard of the name...it doesn't detract from your enjoyment of it and your son.

panda who really gives a shit what anyone else thinks. It's your baby and if you like his name that's enough. I bet alot of these people you're talking about are too boring to think of a name with a real meaning or significance beyond having copied a name out of heat magazine or similar.

Panda tbh tho it's a lovely name it is unusual (I have never met or come across anyoen of any age with this name apart from the chappie who wrote the Aeneid of course).

If we met and I asked yr DS's name I hope I wouldn't say what? as I have heard of the name. But it wouldn't be my choice and I would probably come up with "oh that's unusual" and then (I hope) "makes a change from James and Matthew (sorry but I know a lot of them). I hope this wouldn't offend you but you really can't expect that lots and lots of people will like the name. They clearly haven't chosen it after all.

My DC have relatively unusual tho classic names; I really (really) don't expect people all to like them or even pretend to tbh. In fact I am always amazed when people say (seemingly genuinely) that the love DD's name in partic as I know so few.