Baby names - can't agree on any!

[rainbowface]

I am expecting my second baby early September (already have a ds age 3). My partner and I used the only boys name we both agreed on last time and whilst we seem to have come to an agreement on a girls name now, we are going round and round trying to find another boys name we both like. I know we have lots of time but we both like completely different sorts of names and have read tons of baby name books and I really believe we are not going to come to an agreement if we do have a boy. Anyone else have this problem??

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I agree about the name association thing. The only name that dp and I do agree on (although I havent let on) is Charlie. His last 2 girlfriends before me though were Charlotte and I know it was shortened to Charlie, so I just dont want that name for that reason. Maybe thats childish I dont know.

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We had a nightmare choosing names too. My dh is Dutch, so we had to have something which works in both languages. That means no names with th in as that in hard to pronounce in Dutch, and no names with g in because that sounds like you're clearing your throat. And no names that we very dutch and unpronouncable to an English speaking (my favourite girls name was Marjoliene, which is so pretty in Dutch, but would get massacred in English - the j is like a y in dutch, and would get shortened to hideous things like Mario)

We never did really settle on a girls name, although we had one we liked, I wanted my own middle name (runs in the family) and the 2 together sounded very serious. We had it easy for boys, because in dh's family they have a naming tradition, and we followed it, so ds was named after his grandfather. It is a name I like, unusual but recognisable (I hate names where the poor kid has trouble getting anyone to understand it because its so unusual). The only thing was this name was the name of an ex boyfriend of mine who had behaved VERY badly. I wasn't bothered, and fortunately as soon as it was ds's name, all past associations disappered!

Actually I think that is the key, once it becomes YOUR child's name, all past associations fade away.

DH got to choose our DS's middle name. The first name was the subject of much debate, and we both had to agree, but I definitely would not have been content if I had been forced to use a name I didn't like.

rainbowface - I'd just leave the subject alone and keep your fingers crossed that you get a girl!

Pie - what a dilemma. As you say - 22 weeks to resolve itself!

we battled out names over a nice lunch out one day. We came up with ooooh - about fifty three million names, none of which we BOTH liked. Then I suddenly came out with a girls name, and we both kind of stopped and said - that's pretty so we decided there was no sense in continuing the debate and stuck with that. He came up with the boys name, but we had our DD and that was that.

I agree with all the sentiments of angst around this subject, and believe naming a child "right" is very important. Not much help for you, but perhaps worth getting those names which you both don't immediately HATE and waiting for "him" to come along and see which one seems to fit... Maybe?

I found other people sticking their oar in was really unhelpful. DH and I chose boy and girl names no problem at all, but everyone we told the boy name to pulled a face - my dad said it was awful on lots of occasions! This made our resolve wobble, even though we loved the name we'd chosen. Fortunately, baby was a girl, and everyone like the girl's name we picked..!

Agree with Janh: The Anastacia books (by Lois Lowry) are a great read and will help you like the name a bit more, even if you will never love it. I read them in my early teens and recently re read the whole lot (about 8) after finding them moving into new house. Wonderful, funny, written for young girls, but soooo reflective of what I thought/was like at that age. Brought back many memories and smiles.

FWIW, I love Anastacia, think it's v unusual and gorgeos. But if it's not for you, and the books don't change your mind, then put both your feet down and refuse. You have to like it more than you dislike it IYKWIM

my dh wanted to call a boy Meirion ffs (sorry to any welsh mners) but I put my foot down & thankfully we had 2 girls.

WE had no probalems last time with girls names - agreed straight away. But this time we're having a boy and couldn't agree on anything. I liked Gabriel and Noah, dh wanted Steiner FFS. However we both very firm about any we didn't like and we have finally come to an agreement.
If he won't bond with his daughter because he's getting petulant over a name he liked when he was 8 he's not going to be much of a dad. I'd put your foot down. It'll all be different when he/she arrives.
Have you considered finding out the sex to narrow the debate down a bit?

We took forever to agree, as I wanted a family name and DH refused to use any name he could match a face with! He really would have preferred a made-up name so that she was the only one in the world, but we settled on one that's just old-fashioned enough to be rare. We now know of one other living one (and it's her middle name really) although apparently there were 28 in the UK last year. I still feel a bit odd about it, TBH, but most people like it and it does have a sentimental association -- she's called Opal, and he's an Aussie. When we started dating, I started wearing an opal earring (I have 2 holes in one ear, so I wear a pair and an odd one out, and I switched the odd one). I still have it on now. We don't bother to explain that bit normally.