Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

[Bringbackbuffy]

We haven’t shared any of our baby name choices yet with any friends or family, but we don’t have any lists. We just have a boys name and a girls name.

My parents went on a complete rant the other day about one of our chosen names- they don’t know we’ve chosen it- a friend of theirs has just named their child that.

It was really quite hurtful to listen to, and to know they hate the name so much- but we still don’t want to change it.

I don’t really know what to do, I just wish they hadn’t been so awful

Literally yes :0 Typed in the wrong window, submitted it, then edited, then spelled window wrong...

I think this is right. I wasn't mad about a couple of my gc's names to begin with, not that I thought I needed to be, nor did I say so. Now those names are a part of those children who I love dearly. I think it's just very unfortunate that this happened but it is their problem, not yours.

Sometimes people just like criticising and complaining, it doesn't mean that the thoughts they express are deeply held. If the worst that they said was that it doesn't suit a baby or an adult, I'm sure they'll change their mind once they get to know their grandson. They might even be very embarrassed when they recall this conversation.

(Is it Walter? Richard?)

I think it’s completely normal to discuss a baby name in this way. They weren’t saying it in front of the parents. As soon as a baby name is announced, everyone has an opinion.

June: Oh Terry, did I tell you, Sarah has had the baby. A little boy, seven pounds, they’ve decided to call him Derek.

Terry: Fucking ‘ell that’s awful!

June: I don’t know what the parents were thinking.

Terry: I know, he sounds like 75 year old.

C’mon everybody has these conversations, you’re being naive OP.

Op it absolutely doesn't matter what u choose there will always be someone saying something ridiculous!!
Names are names and if u love it go for it !
I remember voicing names when pregnant and everything I said my mum or someone said something ridiculous so when my friend actually called her baby after a place in Italy and said " wow what a lovely name "
I just thought fuck u all I am choosing what I choose ! It's not conventional name but it's different and my daughter suits it !!
I can't say it on here because it's outing and not many people have said name sorry 😔

@Bringbackbuffy They don't know you chose it.
They expressed a random opinion on a name. Fine. They are within their rights to critique a name they don't like.
Why are you hurt by something they didn't do to hurt you???
You seem to want them to have magical powers to know what name you have chosen and approve it.

Also while they might love your child very much they don't have to love every single aspect of him- he might go through a loud stage, a screaming stage, a really rude teenager stage. I'm very fond of my niece- I love her to bits, and I would go to the ends of the earth for her. Am I fan of how she dresses? No. Would I ever ever say that to her? (She's in her late 20s)- 200% not. It's her choice and she's an individual.
Did I agree with every parenting decision my sister made? Nope.
Did she agree with every parenting decision I made? Also nope.
Do we love each other's children very very much. YES!

Btw I love this e names Ralph and Edward 😁 x

Can we guess? Is it Hugo?

With the best will in the world OP, you need thicker skin. They didn’t know it was your choice of name, they are entitled to their opinion. Your taste doesn’t have to be theirs and vice versa.

Once the baby arrives they’ll love it whatever it’s called.

I thought Sonny or Teddy.

Both our DDs have what people consider to be outlandish names that some people find difficult to pronounce, but we love them and so do they and I can't imagine them being called anything else.

One of them has a name that people confuse with another, similar, name (think the kind of difference between Clarissa/Clara although those aren't the names I'm talking about) and it infuriates me when she gets the shorter version of the name - I'm thinking 'come on people, surely you can read - it's a different name!' but I still love it and so does she.

We got some very strange faces when we announced the names, but we didn't really care what anyone else thought as we loved them.

I think we'd have been in more trouble if they were boys as the names on our list for boys I think everybody would have hated, including the children, although we liked them.

I'm sure when you introduce the name all feelings about the name on behalf of the doubters will fall away, or at least get hidden, and they will soon come to realise that it suits their DGS and can't imagine him being called anything else.

Olivia is still very popular. #1 girls name for several years now.

So? You have a choice, give the baby the name if you still like it or choose something else.

Are you joking? Why is it awful or mean to say they really dislike a name, when they don’t know it’s the one OP has chosen? Thoughtless, maybe.

OP, it really does depend on why they hate it so much. If it’s because it’s something modern, or old-fashioned but back in fashion, you can ignore them if you want to. They’ll get used to it. However, unless it’s because they know and dislike someone with that name it does tell you how some others will probably view it in the same way.

I know it’s unfair, but tbh I think the name would now be blighted for me and I’d be tempted to choose a different one.

Probably annoyed it wasn’t a name chosen after hers

@Bringbackbuffy My dp’s were separated when dd was born.
They both rang me to say they wouldn’t be using dd’s name because they didn’t like it and would use her middle name which they preferred.
I told both of them not to bother visiting unless they used the name we had given our dd. I wasn’t offended, I was very used to them spouting opinions.

My dgs has a very old fashioned name and though I wouldn’t have picked it I love it because It’s my dgs.

But Ralph and Edward are quite dated and sound aspiring-to-be-posh

Felix

You have two choices here. Use the name anyway (they will be embarrassed when they realise what they said)
or change it to a different name.
That’s it

Alfie or Albie.

I think you need to get a grip. So what if you've unwittingly discovered they don't like the name, it's not a personal attack on your baby.

jeez @Paganpentacle

you sound like a charming individual yourself

I don't like the names chosen for my two grandchildren but I have to use them! I told them as much (the parents) but quite rightly they reminded me it wasn't my baby 😂

Maybe it's a generational thing. My mum is in her seventies and she's amused that the next door neighbour's baby is called Stanley. I told her I had heard of other babies named Iris, Mabel etc.

It was nothing personal, everyone has opinions, unfortunately they aren't as tactful as you, maybe they'll learn from it when you announce the name.