He doesn’t look how I pictured a Joseph

[lublyjubly]

I had my heart set on Joseph, Dh has brown hair and I have the darkest of brown thick curly hair and brown eyes with olive skin and we’d decided on Joseph.
I pictured a dark haired boy with dark brown hair and eyes possibly like Joey Tribbiani from friends or Joe Wicks.
Ds was born on Friday with the palest complexion and bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
He’s absolutely beautiful and I’m so in love with him but he’s just not how I pictured a Joseph.
Do I stick with it and hope he’ll grow into it?

Dh is adamant it’s his name now and we are not going to change it.

Do you have another name? We had picked DS’s name before he was born and when he was born I just wasn’t sure it suited him. After a day we decided to stick with it as we had no other name and it was the right thing to do. I think the actual issue is that you don’t know what your child looks like until they’re born so you’re not going to recognise them straight away. If you don’t have another name you love stick with it I say.

I had a name in mind for DC2 but when he was born he really didn’t suit it, so we named him something which I think suits him much better. That said, I think if you stick with Joseph he will come to look like a Joseph in your mind, if that makes sense? Also his hair/ eye colour may change over time. Both my boys were born with blue eyes, and one is now blue and the other hazel.

We were fairly (not 100%) adamant about Rowan but it didn’t suit him at all. We switched after a few days. But hadn’t told anyone what we had named him so he wasn’t ever known as Rowan to anyone else.

This is exactly why I couldn’t name an unborn child. We had a working list of 3 names. We didn’t know gender ans when my son was born we thought he’d be an Arthur. He didn’t look like an Arthur all, it doesn’t suit him. He spent a week nameless and ended up a Benjamin. Same with my daughter our favourite name was Alice and again it just didn’t suit her she’s now an Eleanor.

Hair and eye colour often change from what they were at newborn. If you're both dark, chances are he might go dark too. If he doesn't, who cares? He'll grow into his name, as all children do. Not all kids with the same name look the same.

Joseph nn Joe is a gorgeous, traditional classic. Stick with it.

Ps I can’t comprehend being absolutely sure about a name until he/she is born and you know what they look like

Same happend to family members but the other way around. Had expected a pale, blond, blue eyed child and got a olive skinned, dark eyed boy with a thick mop of very dark brown hair.

His mum says the first thing she said was "that's not Luke!". So he spent a week or so nameless until they decided on the name they like.

Having said that it might grow on you., Give it a week or so, try a few alternatives out, then see how it feels. try to discourage DH from telling people that's the name as changing it once people know is tricky.

Joseph is a gorgeous name. Maybe you just need a bit of time to get used to the idea of a blond Joseph? It's early days yet. You could also try out some different names while you make up your mind. Congratulations!

I don't see why a Joe can't be blond. Having said that, his hair colour will likely change as he grows up anyway.

But if it doesn't feel right, would Jonah work instead? Or Jonathan ("Joe/Jon/Jonty")?

I think stick with it. I know of people who changed the name but as their baby grew and actually developed their own little features I really thought they suited their original names far better than their second chosen names!

Joseph to me is a blonde curly haired boy with green eyes, it's a family name and every Joseph has been fair despite us all being quite mixed!

Your Joseph will grow into his name and one day you think back and realise he never suited anything but what he is called.

The look of someone changes as they grow older. Its possible.

I have really dark brown hair. My Dc's father has dark brown hair.

Both of our children were bright blonde until they were 3 😅

Every year that goes by their hair gets darker and darker. I had mousy brown hair as a child and dark as an adult.

I understand how you feel as changed our DS' name from the one we had most likely chosen . I discussed the change with DH so soon after birth when I announced he simply isn't George (still no idea what I was expecting or why I felt so strongly but we had another name both liked too and haven't looked back!)
in your case it's trickier as your DH is reluctant but I understand your strength of feeling . Not very helpful but I'm not too sure what I would do in your position other than keep communicating with your DH about how you both feel as choosing a name can be quite an irrational process imo! And hope that leads to more resolution somehow

I have a blonde and blue eyed Joseph if it's any consolation 😊

Ps with our next Dc I couldn't find a name I was happy with at all so gave up and DH was clearer on one he liked so I welcomed that then though still didn't feel that keen on that choice (nor any alternative I could come up with ! ). 3 years on I really love the name so I do think one sometimes grows into a name .

This. I was born with loads of absolutely jet black hair but was very light blonde by the time I was about three!

Joseph is a lovely strong name for a boy.
I know lots of blonde Joseph’s probably more than dark but when you get a picture in your head of someone with that name it’s hard to see past. Joseph has so many variations J, Joe, Joey I think he’ll own it.

It’s a lovely name. I have a Joseph/Joe. He was always Joe. He looks like a Joe ❤️

He’ll probably turn darker, and if he doesn’t we had a similar experience - the only name we could agree on seemed not to suit our baby as a newborn, but now he’s older it is 100% him. It took months of it seeming slightly mismatched, I think for us because it’s just not a very ‘baby’ name and no obvious shortenings either (everyone kept trying but they were all awful!) So my vote is stick with it.( Partly because I love the name Joseph and my DH vetoed it.)

Joseph is a beautiful name. Stick with it.

I also had blonde hair as a child and it’s dark now. My dd had blue eyes for nearly a year and then they turned hazel and now brown.
It’s such a popular name there will be hundreds of different looking Joseph’s around.

If he doesn’t suit it then try some others.

We didn’t name our daughter until she was 41 days old- and decided on her middle name on the way to register it 😄. We just called her Baby till then which suited her 🤣.

I’d say don’t rush, sit with it for a while. He might grow into a Joseph (and is likely to end up dark I’d say.)

And congratulations!!!🥳