Naming your child something that is difficult to pronounce in English.

[showersandflowers]

I have a foreign name. My parents are European. I'd really like to call my daughter a name from their country that I've always loved.

It's difficult to pronounce in English. This child will almost certainly grow up in the uk and only speak English. Is it cruel to give a name that she will spend her whole life explaining?

I've done it my whole life but I've loved having a unique name that points to my heritage. Thoughts please.

I honestly wouldn’t. Yes for a name with cultural connection but no to something that makes class mates, teachers, future colleagues uncomfortable/avoidant because they don’t know how to say it properly. Especially if your child may not even grow up fully immersed in that language? You could make it a middle name - dc then has the option to switch to it later if they want something more exciting. But I’d try choose a first name that works equally well in both languages.

A relative of mine has a beautiful Dutch name, given to her because her grandparents were Dutch, it's her heritage etc. In her forties she has taken to introducing herself as a much uglier, more commonplace name because it's such a pain when no-one who reads your name can say it and no-one who hears it can spell it

I have an unusual name and have spent my life being called other things and correcting people.

I have a name like that and I love it. There was a period in my teens when I'd have preferred something easier, but I'm glad I have that connection to my culture and language. That said, I do speak the language, and have passed it down to my DC. I absolutely love my name, and the vast majority of people take a bit of time to make sure they have it right, and then it's a non-issue.

@CoalTit funnily enough, it is a Dutch name (although my family isn't Dutch, it's just a common name in their country). That's sad but completely understandable. I went my whole teens and 20s shortening my name to something that sounded very English and was much easier to understand.

It's a shame, I'd love to call her this name but the only person it'd come easily to is me. Even my husband doesn't say it properly (although he also loves it, it just doesn't roll off the English tongue easily).

The English equivalent of this name would be Effie, which is nowhere near as nice and makes me think of Skins but would at least reference the name.

She will probably be called an Anglicised version of the name or a shortened version of it, or she might choose to be called such a name herself.
You can’t know if she will love it or hate it, that is up to her, but you won’t be able to force her to love it and be proud of her non-Uk heritage. She might grow to appreciate her difference and uniqueness, but then again she might not!

One of my DC has an English name that can be spelled and pronounced a couple of different ways. He always got annoyed when teachers would still pronounce his name wrongly after years of knowing him or when people spell his name the other way.

How hard is it to say?

If your husband can’t say it then that rules it out I think.

I think if your dh can't say it then you need to rule it out. It's one thing to have a name that is unusual it's another to have a name that can't be pronounced by your own father. There must be other names that are easier to pronounce and link to your heritage.

I have a totally unpronounceable indigenous name. No one outside of us older immediate family members can say it.
No amount of mumsnet indignation and saying just correct everyone every time they say it wrong will work. It’s really not people being rude/ lazy/ trying to make a point or anything else, it’s just really hard to say.

I love my name and my culture but hate the spelling and explaining of the pronunciation and the way the letters are written.
I decided in my teens to use my middle name and my real name is used by family members ( a nickname version for the youngsters)

My children have their (simpler) indigenous name as middle name that is used within the family.

My middle name is for my other granny and is Welsh so not without it’s challenges 😜

I wouldn't to be honest, if her own dad can't pronounce it. I'm sure it's a lovely name, but the hassle it'll bring all her life would absolutely put me off.

It's for you, rather than her.

Make it a middle name.

I teach in a really diverse school & some students have names I have never clapped eyes on. They get quite affronted when I can't pronounce them & there are so many it's impossible to remember every single one. I think it is possible to find one that is from another culture but also easy for British people to pronounce. I am for example always able to say names like Amira, Zarah, Maria, Sofia correctly & I think for students it's less annoying as they don't have to keep correcting me.

There must be some names that can be Dutch but also British?

Could you use the hard to pronounce name as a middle name and opt for a simpler name as the first name?

I’d keep it as a middle name tbh @showersandflowers. I don’t have a difficult name (I don’t think!) - common, easy to say, but misspelled ALL the time 🙄 and it’s very annoying!

It's not really fair on other people, either! It's embarrassing for doctor's receptionists, teachers, neighbours and new friends always having to ask how you spell your name or pronounce it.

Not a problem, in my experience. I have an Irish name that’s unusual even in Ireland and while in the UK peiole aren’t going to know how to pronounce it until I tell them, I’ve never found that problematic. DS has an unusual Irish name too, and everyone manages.

Besides the difficulty of pronunciation, there's also a risk that you're giving her a Dutch name that doesn't match her generation. A bit like if a British-origin 3rd gen immigrant kid was named Tracy or Barbara because the grandparents said it was a lovely name and it featured in stories the parents read when they were little. Then you'll get an eyebrow raise from both cultures for both unpronouncability and misfit.

Even my DP can't pronounce my hard to pronounce name properly. It makes me quite sad really. So I'd go for an easy name tbh

My DD has a Scottish name, which is now quite common, but spelt in an anglicised way. DD has the Scottish spelling as it had meaning in our family. Now 13.

Friends never had a problem. Teachers... honestly, first couple of weeks of term there's lots of mispronounciation, but not long term. She does however get some written stuff misspelled. (Missing a letter out).

However, our surname gets more misspellings... and thats an unusual but fully English surname.

I am going to go against the grain.
I gave my kids names from my heritage without wondering how other people can pronounce them.
If they can pronounce Tchaikovsky they can pronounce names from another culture. It's not my job to make teachers or anyons else comfortable.

Is it difficult to pronounce as in uses sounds that aren't used in Englis. Some sounds you need to hear and use at a young age to replicate them well.

Or difficult to pronounce as in, will have to put a bit if effort in but can do it.

I'd be reluctant with the former, but the second would be ok.

This is why you have people with beautiful meaningful names calling themselves Sid or Jay or Vee to make it easier for people who can't be bothered to make an effort. It's a flattening of cultures, in my view.

Nah, make it a middle name. It's wilfully nutty to call your child a name even her dad can't pronounce.

I'm Irish with an English dh and live in England. I really wanted Irish names for our dcs, but dh (reasonably) said he wanted something he could spell and pronounce properly! We did find one for ds but dd ended up with a more international name, which works pretty much everywhere for dd. I'm happy with both tbh.

I'd use the name you love as a middle name or use the shortening day to day

What BS. They can ask and ask again. Not going to call myself Mary to please them.

Yeah, don't do it. Such a pain in the arse for everyone. I honestly judge people who've chosen 'unusual names' because they're special, now everyone else has a task to remember / spell / pronounce. Urghhh. Cannot be bothered.