Naming your child something that is difficult to pronounce in English.

[showersandflowers]

I have a foreign name. My parents are European. I'd really like to call my daughter a name from their country that I've always loved.

It's difficult to pronounce in English. This child will almost certainly grow up in the uk and only speak English. Is it cruel to give a name that she will spend her whole life explaining?

I've done it my whole life but I've loved having a unique name that points to my heritage. Thoughts please.

When you say English people can't pronounce it, does it literally have sounds in that aren't in the English language? In which case I wouldn't - because a large number of people, despite how hard they may try, will not be able to physically make the sound. Is that why your husband can't say it?

Is there an acceptable English shortening of the name you are happy with so they could have the best of both worlds? (even if it's not conventional - like sometimes people are just known by the first letter, Diana = Dee etc, is there something in the name you'd be okay with as the shortened version for 'public' use while your family have the heritage version to use?)

As someone who has a name that's difficult to pronounce in English don't do it! A lifetime of dreading people asking my name, repeating myself, correcting pronunciation (and them still not getting it right anyway!), being asked "what does it mean?" 🙄
(And also giving a fake name in Starbucks because it's easier lol)

People have tried to foist an Anglicised nickname on me or call me by my initial, but I don't let them.
The worst was when I met a man whose two syllable name means " Incomparable" and he said to the office " Just call me Annie".

Friends with tricky to spell and pronounce Gaelic names have all called their own children simple names like Jane and John.

after a lifetime of hearing their own names mangled and putting up with crazy spellings they didn’t want their kids to go through the same.

I am Eastern European and remember working with a senior auditor whose first name was Shubhendra. I was astonished how English would call him...."Bob".... I felt that was rude, lazy, arrogant and ignorant or a mixture of all. I always made sure I just would address him by his actual name. It was not difficult, but attitudes were entitled to simplify and anglicise. I am opposed to easy generally anyway. Your choice is to give up early to avoid a fight or be prepared to fight/ correct/ educate for a long time.

Shubhendra 🙂 means blessing.

There are sounds you simply don't hear or can't hear the difference between if you didn't get exposed before 7.

I have friends who can't say the R in my name and it doesn't bother me.

But I'm not sure how I'd feel if nobody around me could say the R, including one of my parents.

Give it to her as a middle name, but you can use it as a special pet name for her yourself. I think her first name should be something her dad can say!

It depends on the name.

Some sounds aren't present in other languages so are really difficult for people who speak different languages to pronounce accurately so with the best will in the world, the name will always be pronounced inaccurately.

And some names have different connotations phonetically in other languages. I used to have a Turkish friend named Fahti which is pronounced farty phonetically. So he chose to use an English name when he was living in England.

To me it depends on whether the name contains a sound that isn't used in English (like a rolled R) or whether English people would expect it to be pronounced very differently (like English Theo versus German "Tayo"). If it was an unfamiliar sound, I'd consider whether I'd mind if people who couldn't pronounce the sound used the local version (I probably wouldn't). Some English people (including me, and I've studied languages) find it physically very difficult to pronounce a rolled R, and if I was in your position, I wouldn't mind if they used the English form of R. The Theo/Tayo problem would be more annoying as it literally doesn't sound like the same name.

My dgc, age 6, can't even pronounce her own foreign (middle) name correctly, despite being raised bilingual, so the rest of us have no chance of ever saying or even spelling it right.
Thankfully, her first name is common in both languages, and is still recognisable whether said in English or the other language.

I wouldn't give a child a first name that is going to require an explanation of how it should be pronounced, and that will have to be carefully spelled out, every single time there is contact with anyone outside of the family and friendship group who are in the know.

Think what it is like on the phone to, for example, an insurance company, utilities or a government department, trying to get put through to the right person - sometimes you are transferred through countless departments or call-center handlers before you get to the person you need, and it's not unusual for every single one of those departments to make you go through all your personal details again. That is frustrating enough (not to mention time-consuming) with a common and supposedly easy-to-spell name, never mind one that is going to be totally unrecognisable to just about everyone.

If your DH can't even say it then it's a no.

Don't do it. If they are going to grow up in the UK, give them a name that can be spelled and pronounced in English.

My husband has name that he has to spell every time he says it. It wears thin. If your husband can’t even pronounce the name it would be silly to call the baby the name. She would have a lifetime of correcting people.

I'm going against the grain here, but I say do it... maybe give them a straightforward middle name they could use instead if they want. My oldest has a name that is not obvious to pronounce when seen written (it's an unusual Gaelic name), but we found children had no problem with it when she was growing up, adults just needed to know how to say it and spell. Was/is not a big deal

We did the straightforward, common middle name too and it's that she hates! Should have given her my mum's unusual but straightforward name for that!).

No amount of mumsnet indignation and saying just correct everyone every time they say it wrong will work. It’s really not people being rude/ lazy/ trying to make a point or anything else, it’s just really hard to say.
This.
What I say and what they hear are quite different.

I go by a different name but once they find out my real name they insist on using it, but they use their idea of what it is.

I like the name but I don't like it being misspelt and mispronounced.

@Lentilweaver , Tchaikovsky doesn't have any sounds that you don't get in English.

If it’s difficult to pronounce because it uses sounds that most English people can’t say then I wouldn’t use the name. I am Welsh and have friends & family whose names are horribly mispronounced by people outside of Wales because even those who really try and pronounce properly often just can’t say the sounds. I also have some friends & family whose names are mispronounced by people who’ve only read the name as they’re not phonetic to English but which are actually pretty easy to say once you’ve been told it verbally and I think that’s probably bit less annoying as you should only need to correct people once and then they can say the name properly, but choosing a name which is constantly mangled by people who can’t say the correct sounds would be a big no no for me.

People will learn to say it , you just have to not be extremely fussy about exact pronunciation @romdowa
They won't, in my case, and the mispronunciations vary far too much.
They get half the sounds wrong and they place the stress on different syllables.
One letter doesn't have an English equivalent.
They often add extra letters or leave some out, or say an English name that looks vaguely similar.

This.

The give an easy middle name won't change the issue because people usually assume you use the first name. Fajffmgohmg Anna Smith going by the name Anna will be assumed to be Fajffmgohmg Smith.

😅 ah no, that's me! My name is apparently a "granny" name in my parents' home country. Luckily the one I have in mind isn't.

There is a sound in the name which probably could only be pronounced with practise. Or if you already spoken another similar language (maybe German?).

😆 I also give a fake name in Starbucks for the same reason!

See I've quite liked having a difficult "foreign" name. Although like a PP said, the sort of "where are you REALLY from?" questions are quite annoying. But honestly I get "that's beautiful" way more than I get "that's annoying to me" responses 🤷‍♀️

When I was younger I used to wear a wooden bead block bracelet with my name spelled out. When asked at a reception or at the opticians or something I'd just show them my bracelet while saying my name! Really worked well for exactly this situation.

I think that your h being able to pronounce it is a vital requirement.

If you went ahead with the name, you risk people forcing a nickname that’s easy to say for English speakers or everybody pronouncing the name wrong.

There’s often posts where people ask English speakers how a foreign name sounds or what names work in 2 languages because some sounds don’t exist in certain languages which is understandable. I’m not saying pick a name like Anna that works internationally either. I have a name that’s spelled in more than one way and I have no issues spelling it out unlike many on here. The ideal is a name that others can remember after you tell them once “it’s pronounced like Ever not Eeva” sort of thing