Naming your child something that is difficult to pronounce in English.

[showersandflowers]

I have a foreign name. My parents are European. I'd really like to call my daughter a name from their country that I've always loved.

It's difficult to pronounce in English. This child will almost certainly grow up in the uk and only speak English. Is it cruel to give a name that she will spend her whole life explaining?

I've done it my whole life but I've loved having a unique name that points to my heritage. Thoughts please.

Firstly, there are many common British names that have multiple spellings so being asked to spell your name is not something that just happens to people with 'foreign' names. For exame Jane/Jayne, Ann/Anne, Rachel/Rachael, Catherine/Katherine/Kathryn.

Secondly, there are plenty of British names that are difficult to pronounce in some British accents. So e.g. Karl can be Kar-ul in some Scottish accents, and most of England struggle with the correct pronounciation of Scottish, Welsh and Irish names. I don't think that should really be a reason to not use a name you love unless you would get annoyed at the mispronounciation (e.g. I avoided Kirsten because I hate the way the English butcher it). So think about how you feel about it being mispronounced and will you be happy with an approximation or a nickname.

I really don't think we need to give our children names that don't make other people feel "embarrassed" or "uncomfortable" because they can't pronounce them!

I would skip it. I had a Chinese friend and a Polish friend at different times. I practiced the correct pronunciation of their names over and over again until I thought I was saying them perfectly. Apparently I wasn’t and it just made everyone a bit fed up. I guess there are some sounds that are not only difficult to say correctly but difficult to even hear. So my point is it’s not just down to people’s laziness

I know a family of Chinese origin who all have traditional names but they're easy to remember and pronounce in English...apart from one who everybody calls Dave because no one can pronounce his actual name. I think it's a shame as his siblings have lovely unusual names and then it's here's Dave!

What's an unusual name? My name is very common in my culture. Why on earth should I Anglicise it? It has three syllables, the same as Catherine.
Judge people?🙄

Indeed. Mn is depressingly Little Englander about names and thinks all babies should be called George and Sophie.

I didn't say to anglicise it. There's tonnes of non English names which are memorable, pronouncement and spellable. I'm saying choose one of them to help everyone out including your own child. I have tonnes white British friends who have chosen completely umheard of names and I dont know why. My children are mixed heritage. We found names easily which bridged the two cultures and are easy for wider society to work with. I'm talking about people deliberately picking difficult names for no good reason.

Please don’t. I’m Irish and the way the English pronounce almost every Irish name makes my ears bleed.

I think everyone should pick what they want. Unless it's Ziggy Stardust! Or Moon Unit.

It's not fair on the child.it will be very annoying for them too.

As a whole, I think the English can be a bit hypocritical about names... we have place names like Godmanchester and Bicester, have phonetic fun like read, reed, red, reading and Reading... but any other phonic system sends us into meltdown.

I had an unusual English surname. Nobody could ever pronounce or spell it. I got sick of having to tell every single person, how to spell it and pronounce it.

I can’t say or spell DDIL’s foreign surname.

I wouldn’t do it. It is bliss now to have DH’s common surname!

I agree in that, pick what you want ultimately.

That’s my experience as a teacher too - they’re affronted. I try to listen carefully and make a note of it phonetically. However, teenagers are mortified when you have to ask how to pronounce their name, or guess and get it wrong. Most just want to blend in and be the same as everyone else.

I would give her 2 names so she can choose when she is older which she prefers to go by?

What a load of bollocks.

Yes, that has been my experience, and my name is not even hard to pronounce. I could not understand why it seemed so hard for some people to remember it.

I think it would be lovely to give your daughter a name that recognises her heritage but only if it can be pronounced by someone whose mother tongue is English. If even her dad struggles, then her friends would also find it difficult and she would either get frustrated by having to continually correct them or would be embarrassed.

Incidentally, why will she grow up only speaking English? Do you speak Dutch fluently? If so, it's a shame that she won't grow up bilingual. Couldn't her Dad speak to her in English and you in Dutch?

I have a very common English name and people still get it wrong!

I think go for it if you both love it. People can learn about new cultures and pronunciations, it’s not a bad thing

i picked an unusual name for DC and it suits him perfectly

A friend of mine was known by the shortened version of his culture name as no one could pronounce it. This went right back to when he was at school.
With his own children he gave them both a name that sounded the same in both countries , although they were spelt slightly differently. His in laws were horrified partly because in their culture it was the custom for grandparents to name the child.
He said that his children whilst obviously would learn about their parents culture ways and traditions would be brought up in the uk and therefore needed a name that everyone could pronounce as he had spent his whole life from when he came to the uk at the age of 10 correcting people and spelling out his name.

If they can pronounce Tchaikovsky they can pronounce names from another culture.
Tchaikovsky has been transliterated from a different alphabet and spelled phoenetically for English speakers, so it's not a convincing case for using a Dutch namw with the original spelling. In fact, it's a good example of why you shouldn't.

I'm irish with an English dh and gave my son an old Irish name. Dh hadn't a clue at first but he learned and so has everyone else. I'm expecting again and our second child will also have an Irish name. People will learn to say it , you just have to not be extremely fussy about exact pronunciation

They can't though. There are sounds in other languages that don't exists in English and can't be pronounced by people who don't speak the language properly.

I don't see that it matters though. I have friends from many places that don't say my name quite correctly and vice versa, it makes no difference at all. We get the closest possible to it 🤷‍♀️

On the fence.
I have such a name, and definitely have to spell it out and coach pronunciation when I meet someone for the first time. I have an anglicised nickname which I didn't choose, but which I go along with as so many find my actual name unpronounceable.
I also love having a really clear link to my heritage. People generally feel little compunction about asking where I'm from ("No, like really, where are you from?" or complimenting me on my unusual name.

I have a friend with a name that is mispronounced in English, so she has changed the spelling so it is phonetic and easy to pronounce in English.