Family dont like our name choices

[Cosyreader1]

Hello..I'm a first-time mum to be. We've chosen not to find out the gender of our baby but have picked names for both. Ive found I've had mixed reactions which I don't mind (I know not everyone has the same taste) but it's knocked me a little that my family aren't keen on the boys name we've picked. The name is Toby, which I don't think is particularly out there or unusual. I don't think this will lead us to change it as it's our baby but just wondered how other people have dealt with similar situations?

By not telling anyone the name until when the baby is here. People are less likely to be rude when you’ve actually given your bundle their name!

It's a perfectly nice and normal name and you should use it if you like it.

This is why it's best not to tell people. It's asking for drama. I made the same mistake with ds. 'Leon' is too chavvy apparent and it kind of spoiled the name and we didn't use it.

We announced DDs name by sending a photo of her full name on the registration document. She was 7 days old haha.

Hi, I think Toby is a nice name BTW.

My mum said negative things about most of the names I was constantly before my babies were born and it put me off the names as I didn't want to use one that I knew made her cringe.

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken any notice but I did find ones that everyone in my immediate family liked.

This is why you don't tell anyone the name until they're born!

They can sod off. My mum didn't like our DDs name.
Then when she held her she said ' you absolutely are a (DDs name) .

Oh I like it. Toby is nicely unusual but not rare. Would go nicely with my surname actually (so long as I didn't pick an I or an O name for a middle name).

We told people our name choice after our baby was born. My family were fine with it but my in-laws hated it. They really made a lot of effort to get us to change the name. They even held a family meeting about it!! My MIL couldn't say the name for the first few weeks but one day I just heard her call DS by his name and I knew she'd accepted it (finally!).
I'm such a people pleaser, I even thought of changing the name because they were so unhappy but DH said no.
I'd say be firm and give it time. They will eventually come round. They have no choice.
Toby is lovely, by the way.

Why did you tell them? Most people don't. If you tell people in advance, you're inviting opinions. If you tell them after, you are far less likely to get them.

We did, sadly, from MIL. She disliked our boys name and said as much. She then insisted on calling him his first and middle name together at all times, introduced him to extended family as the wrong name a few times, and then finally sat us down and asked us to consider giving him a different name 😐 But she's a nutter, and for unrelated reasons, we have little contact now.

Toby is a lovely name, it's a shame that they don't feel too keen on it yet, but they will if it turns out to be name of your little boy.

I really like the name Toby.

When a close family member of mine was talking about possible baby names, she mentioned one that I really didn’t like and I told her my opinion because she’d asked. Her and her husband loved the name so they used it, but it didn’t take long for me to get used to it and now I associate the name with this child who is lovely, so I no longer dislike it as much.

Basically, use the name you want, other people will come round.

As long as your surname isn't Jugg or Morey, you can't go wrong with Toby.

Oh god never say the name! Or just give a fake one if they keep badgering you.

We didn’t tell anyone our name choices, we didn’t decide until a few days after the birth as had a couple in mind and ended up choosing the one I didn’t think we would! When we had decided we texted the name to friends and family along with photo. That way they could get used to it and I didn’t have to hear any hesitation, or ‘that’s unusual’ (it’s not that unusual, but I know what some family can be like). So when I spoke to them, the name was cemented, everyone was happy and they can’t imagine the child not being that name now!!

Don't tell them your business!
FWIW I love Toby!
When baby is born, you introduce them with their name, nobody says a word!!!

Its a perfectly good name.

The problem with asking for opinions is that you will get them. Better to announce after baby arrives and then just get compliments.

My baby is Toby (okay he’s a 6ft beardy 20 year old now) and I love it, always have and more importantly so does he! Weirdly loads of people call him Tobes so as long as you are okay with that then go for it ❤️

Lovely name!

I got a comment on my daughters name and I announced after she was born. She is called Alexandra which is normal, classic name IMO. Someone said "isn't that a boys name?". This particular someone kept suggesting names inc Bella, Ruby, Posy and Prim and I think she was miffed I chose something more traditional but hey ho.

It's your baby at the end of the day xxx

My parents would have hated our name choices. Which is why I didn’t tell them until after they were born. They have never made a negative comment because they wouldn’t say anything about an actual child with that name.
I really dislike my sisters child’s name, but not my kid not my business

There's nothing wrong with Toby, it's a nice name. Classic, even.

Rookie error @Cosyreader1 Never EVER tell people what name you are going to give your baby.

Anyway, to hell with their views. It's your baby! (Going against the grain on here, IMO Toby does seem like a name you would give a dog though sorry!) 😬

!

Ignore them. Nice name and nothing wrong with it. They will get used to it.

It's better to keep names to yourself. Unfortunately, if you share everyone has an option and they love sharing it with you. As long as you like the name Toby that's all that counts. I really hate names like Hunter, Wren, Brooke but I would never share that with a heavily pregnant woman that live the name.

My mother told me that it was a family tradition for the maternal grandmother to choose the name of her oldest daughter's first child. I wasn't about to let Mum lumber my daughter with her own first name, which I know she wanted to do and which was deeply unfashionable at the time, so I told her that although all suggestions would be considered I was starting a new family tradition in which the person who gave birth to the baby got the final say in their name. XH and I gave each bump a silly nickname until the baby was born then presented their actual name as a fait accompli.

My mother told me that it was a family tradition for the maternal grandmother to choose the name of her oldest daughter's first child

Was this even true? Did she let her mum name her eldest child!!?

Yeah it’s wise just present baby and name in one go. My parents for sure were surprised by my kids’ names 😄 but they just become one, the baby and the name, and therefore they end up liking the name. There are loads of Tobys around, but if your parents don’t know many babies maybe they think it’s too whacky. They’ll learn!

Oh god your first mistake was telling anyone the name 🫣
people then feel free to give their opinions.
Which is fine if you’re confident in your choice. But less find if you’re not.

I know it's too late now but I'm also in the camp of not telling family until they are born - it's a lot harder to dislike a name when there's a baby right infront of them rocking said name.

I prefer posting on here for honest reactions from strangers than actually telling anyone I know