Family dont like our name choices

[Cosyreader1]

Hello..I'm a first-time mum to be. We've chosen not to find out the gender of our baby but have picked names for both. Ive found I've had mixed reactions which I don't mind (I know not everyone has the same taste) but it's knocked me a little that my family aren't keen on the boys name we've picked. The name is Toby, which I don't think is particularly out there or unusual. I don't think this will lead us to change it as it's our baby but just wondered how other people have dealt with similar situations?

I like Toby too. It's a good solid name but also cute enough for a baby, and Shakespeare used it.

If you'd said just about any name, they'd be negative about it. That's why you don't tell anyone (apart from MN, who'll give it to you straight ) before you introduce him.

Nothing wrong with the name Toby.
If you tell people the names before the child is born they think they have time to get you to change their mind if they don't like it.

It’s your choice, not the relatives. I would say you are still thinking about names and once the baby is born use the name you chose.

Love Toby. Works with a baby and a grown man. Parents have had their chance to name their own children. Now it's yours-either tell them to butt out, or ignore them.

Ha ha! I had a similar experience. My PIL decided they didn’t like DS1 name so they’d be using his middle name as that was ‘ok’. I called them random names for months until they backed down. He has a pretty standard name (think Oscar) so it’s not like it was made up or offensive. Honestly though I could go on and on about the batshit crazy stuff I had to deal with from them. Grandparents can be very entitled sometimes. They had their time to chose, stop trying to muscle in.

But absolutely do not announce a name until the baby is born

Toby is a lovely name, not super common or uncommon.

Having worked with dogs and people over decades-I can assure you that dogs and kids fashions in names often go hand in hand.
Last fifteen years odd the top of my head...

Jack
Rosie
Lily
Bella
Belle
Amber
Sophie
Ben
Harry
Alfie (tons of them)
Archie (ditto above)
Stanley
Charlie
Theo
Billy
Betty
Teddy
Ted
Buddy
Oscar
Kaspar
Willow
Ava
Evie
Dora
Iris
Olive (ia)
Chloe

In the 70's, no man I knew was ever called Fido, or Shep - not sure what's changed there 🤔

I like Toby.

However, the main point here is - no more sharing this type of information. The name gets announced when baby is born. It's not a possible name at that point, it is baby's name.

At that point the correct reply from everyone is "how lovely."

Rookie error giving the name in advance. My SIL wanted to give my niece a really god awful name she charged her mind after her brother took the rip and she realised it would l lead to bullying.

if it’s not my child I always just say ‘oh nice, it really suits him/her’ even if they have gone off their tits and called the kid Pubert or similar. Not my business or fight,

If you decide to have a second child don't tell anyone your name choices. They are unlikely to comment on the name if the baby is here.
For what it is worth I think Toby is a lovely name

Good job he's not their baby to name, then . Toby is a lovely name. Congratulations!

My daughter didn’t tell anyone what name she had chosen for her child until child was born…and I was her birth partner. Am glad she didn’t, because initially I wasn’t keen for a few seconds but can honestly say I love the name she chose and cannot imagine the child with any other name.
BTW I absolutely love Toby.X

We were going to call dd Toby if she had been a boy. Nice choice! But we didn't tell anyone our name ideas, that's never a good idea - as you've learnt the hard way. Just kept quiet then announced everything once baby born and that's definitely their name.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - there should be a warning on pregnancy testing kit boxes, that strongly advises against discussing babies names with anyone other than your partner, until the baby is born.

For now, just say we're having a pause about thinking of names for a while, just close down any discussion.

I’m not a fan of my grand daughter’s name but the clue is that it’s not my child to name! I just love her!

That was always the narrative when I was a child and I have no reason to doubt it. It wasn't that unusual a practice in that place and time and it would have been expected within the extended family and difficult to rebel against. It's likely that Mum's first name was also chosen by her mother's mother.

@Cerialkiller I adore the name Leon it's a good solid strong name.

They had their own opportunity to name their children. You’re the one carrying YOUR baby and you’ll be the ones doing all the hard work. Don’t change the name of your baby to suit others’ preferences.

Yep, as others have said - it’s always a bad idea to tell people before baby’s actually here. But with Toby having been in the Top 100 for at least 30 years, you know you don’t have much to worry about in reality (outside of family opinions!). A name like Toby isn’t going to cause him any ridicule, is easy to say and spell etc.

Even if it’s not their personal taste (for myself I prefer Tobias as I’m not usually very keen on “ee” ending names), with a reasonably popular name like Toby most people you meet once he’s actually born are going to be ambivalent about it at worst and like it a lot at best (otherwise it wouldn’t be popular!)

Toby is a lovely name. You should never tell anyone your name choice until the baby is born though. You have learned this the hard way!

Like a pp suggestion of double bluff. Say you have take criticism on board so you have dropped Toby and the baby of a boy will be named Shaney-Gary.

We gave fake names when expecting our babies. We made them so nutty and out there, that not one single person had a word to say after the birth, when the real names came out. I think they were all relieved 😂

I know right. It was after our favourite film Leon/the professional. DS is called Ash (from Ash and the evil dead) which we love more then the name Leon so it's all fine. Annoyingly I don't think I've ever met a single Leon, chavvy or otherwise.

I'm one of those that felt picking a name before you meet them is strange. We had a list of names but didn't choose until they were born.

Toby is fine.

I disagree with "never tell people the name." I think you have much higher chances of ending up with name regret if you never hear anyone's reactions, or miss the opportunity to have someone point out a reason why the name is a bad idea.

Perhaps you could pretend that you are going to call him a really awful name, so they are relieved when you go for Toby!