Is it wrong to give my baby my MIL name and not my own mum?

[megadreamer8]

Hi. I'm considering names for my future babies (planning to start trying soon, if all is well!) and if they are a girl I like the name Melody. I'd like a one syllable name as their middle name as I think that would sound better. My partner doesn't understand the need for a middle name as he doesn't have one but I do and I'd like to add one for them.

His mum is called Jane. So it would be Melody Jane. I love "MJ" as a potential Nickname too as I am a Spiderman fan.
My mum's name is Vicky (not Victoria, just vicky) and I don't think it goes as well. Other close family members names are Joan, Lillian and Jasmine.
I just think one syllable would be better.

I'm closer to my mum so she might feel a bit left out. Hmm!

You’re planning on a baby girl when you might have a son - this is why people get gender disappointment 😂

How about you wait till you conceive then find out what sex it is then pic a few names as they might not look like a MJ.

I know a little boy who is called MJ btw

Haha! I already have a baby boy name picked that me and my partner feel pretty much set on. I've always struggled with little girls names and just like to plan. Tbh I've spent hours over the years contemplating this and now it's looking more real I'm just thinking more about it 😅😅 so broody!

But yeah I actually love the name Oliver for a boy. But we did consider Miles too so maybe Miles Jacob for the MJ Nickname. I think it sounds cute!

You could wait until you are pregnant then wait some more until you know if its going to be a boy or a girl.

@earther I know I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm in my thirties and have been delaying ttc for years and I feel more ready now so I'm daydreaming by posting here haha. This is just a post to gather opinions/discussion 😊

Melody Jane is lovely. Not sure how you avoid offending your mum though.

Thank you @TorturedPoets
I really like it too, and my partner thinks his mum would be very pleased. I did consider naming them Melody Jay (so Jane is the inspiration but not exactly the same so my mum isn't left out) and it reminds me of the blue jaybird. But everyone pointed out its a boy's name and should just go for Jane.

I see what you mean about Vicky. Has your mum got a middle name you could use as baby's second middle name?

The baby is your husband's too. So if the baby was given your mum's name, would you worry about offending his mum?

Your posts talk about the name you're giving your baby. No mention of you both giving the name.

@FASDE1517 she is Vicky Ann so maybe Ann?
Melody Jane Ann
Not a huge fan of lots of middle names normally though plus my partner's last name is long/3 syllables.

Why should her mum be offended though? The mum's mum doesn't automatically get the honour of their name being used

@saraclara oh he isn't bothered about names at all. I ask him a name and he tells me if he likes it or not. As long as he agrees with it then he's happy he said. He doesn't care about middle names either so he said it's all down to me 🤣🤣

I think that Melody Jane works, but I'd be tempted to add Vicky to it, as in Melody Jane Vicky, so my mum wouldn't be disappointed. Most people only use a middle name/s for form-filling purposes.

My daughter is Hallie-Jay as a double barrelled first name so Jay definitely isn’t a male thing only. ❤️
Happy baby making 👶

Melody Jane is really lovely. I do see what you mean about your mum maybe feeling left out.

Do either of you have grandparents you’d like to honor, or historic maiden surnames? In my experience using a more historic family name from one side doesn’t create tension with the other side

Yeah! I'm thinking I may have to, too. Just to be fair. My partner is quite close to his mum but we don't see her very often, and obviously I'm closer to my mum so it feels right to include her. I may never even have a baby girl so it's all a dream currently, I just like to be "prepared" haha. I have had baby names in my phone notes for years and finally feel settled on names.

@TheIceQween oh wow, I love that name. What did people say about Jay being used? I shouldn't really care what people think but I guess I do like to know what other people say as I've posted here to strangers 😆 Jay is definitely something I decided on as I like the bird 🐦 association and it still has the MJ Nickname. But plenty say it's better to use Jane after his mum.

@Newbie887 my grandparents Lily and Joan. There are some last names that are quite nice I could think of using too.
I like lily but I think I've got it in my head that I want a one syllable name.
I think Melody Jane sounds better than Melody Joan too? I'm not sure.

@megadreamer8 thank you, that’s very kind of you to say. When we named her people thought I’d named her after Eminems daughter 🤦🏽‍♀️ but I think her name is Hayley Jay?
The double barrel name thing wasn’t really about when she was born so we had loads of compliments on how unique it was and that no one else in our town would be called the same.
I had her name ready at least 10 years before she was born so I totally get why you’re doing it all now x

Melody Jane has a lovely ring to it

I think Melody Ann Jane sounds a little better. It’s tough trying to include everyone isn’t it? Wishing you the best luv ❤️

Oh God just don't. Even if it sounds better, flows better, blah blah blah, there's no way it doesn't look like some sort of snub to your mum and she'd have to be superwoman not to be a little bit hurt.

Two middle names is quite normal. They never get used anyway. And the more initials the better in this day and age for selecting email addresses etc.

Use one name from each.

If you ever have a girl!!

Oh but then you wouldn’t have your MJ. Ignore me xx

@TheIceQween awww. Thank you for understanding me. I am very enthusiastic about it but I guess we only really get one real shot at this becoming parents (if lucky) chapter and I overthink everything. I wanted kids years ago but have held off because I wasn't ready. Still feel like a big kid myself at 31 but I had an accidental pregnancy last year which resulted in an early miscarriage and it's made me realise how much I really want to try properly and prepare.

@megadreamer8 how heartbreaking. I’m sorry to hear that 😞
Wish you all the luck for the future sweet x

Oh God just don't. Even if it sounds better, flows better, blah blah blah, there's no way it doesn't look like some sort of snub to your mum and she'd have to be superwoman not to be a little bit hurt.

Again, why is it a snub? The baby will have two grandmothers of equal importance. If my DGD had had my son in law's mother's name as a middle name I'd not have felt snubbed at all. I don't consider myself more important than her.