Is it wrong to give my baby my MIL name and not my own mum?

[megadreamer8]

Hi. I'm considering names for my future babies (planning to start trying soon, if all is well!) and if they are a girl I like the name Melody. I'd like a one syllable name as their middle name as I think that would sound better. My partner doesn't understand the need for a middle name as he doesn't have one but I do and I'd like to add one for them.

His mum is called Jane. So it would be Melody Jane. I love "MJ" as a potential Nickname too as I am a Spiderman fan.
My mum's name is Vicky (not Victoria, just vicky) and I don't think it goes as well. Other close family members names are Joan, Lillian and Jasmine.
I just think one syllable would be better.

I'm closer to my mum so she might feel a bit left out. Hmm!

Thank you lovely, can only take positives from these things I guess and it's made me feel more sure about what I want now 🥰

Melody Jade, Melody Jude, Melody Joy, Melody Jean, Melody Jo or Melody June?? BTW Jay can be a girls name, I think it’s a good middle name.

I do like Joy too actually but I do think it's either Melody Jane or Melody Jay.
I agree, I also think Jay is a nice middle name, but most that have answered me have said it makes more sense to use Jane and that it sounds more proper. I do regard Jay a proper name but I think some see it as more of a Nickname and mostly for boys. It is a strong contender!

Why not just pick names you like rather than being hamstrung by feeling obliged to use parents names?

Tbh for the most part I have. I think I'm quite attached to meaning behind names and honoring family members, but the issue there is leaving people out.

For instance I love Oliver which isn't anyone's name in my family that I am aware of. Melody isn't a family name either. But for a middle name I feel like it "makes sense" but that's me! 😊
Each to their own, I mean I would go with Jay but which is almost Jane but not obviously so. :")

I think I would go for another middle name. I wouldn't want to hurt my mum.

You could honour your mum if you have a boy? Miles Victor sounds really cool to me. You could tell both grandmas that’s your plan before you find out the sex of the baby, and then no one will be offended.

That's a nice idea too! I wish I could have twins so I could feel like I'm not leaving anyone out haha. It's only because I think Jane goes better next to Melody. But maybe I'll go with Jay 😆

I think it's bonkers to worry about any of this, but since OP is, I think this is the perfect compromise.

Haha I'm an overthinker. And tbh others online pointed out that if I use Jane I'd be potentially upsetting my mum. And it made me worry further 🤣

My eldest granddaughter has a family name from my MIL side. I'm not offended at all. My MIL birthed that baby, if wants to honour her family with the middle name why would that upset me?

You know what, I'm not sure. I think it's something that got pointed out to me and I've struggled to shake it. I don't like the idea of leaving one mother out.

I like Melody Jane - I think Jade would flow better than Jay if you want an alternative to Jane. So it isn’t two “y” endings.

Melody Victoria Jane also nice

If Jane, then Victor or Victoria as a middle for your second child?

Thank you for your input. I'm hooked to this thread because I'm so curious to what people think! And if i'm just being silly 😆

I like Victoria but my mum is called Vicky. I think my nan preferred the Nickname as her full name instead when naming her.

If I have a boy first I might call them Oliver Thomas Victor (Thomas is a big family name and is my mum's dad's name so it would be quite fitting to put the two together ❤️

I’d go with Melody Jane, it’s lovely and I think sounds better than Melody Jay. If it comes to it, you can just explain it to your mum (the MJ nn and flow of it) and say you’ll get working on any girl number 2 and will give her a nod to your mums name. Then you just need to work out a name that vicky fits into!

Thank you so much. I am contemplating Melody Jane Vicky as a name but it's quite a mouthful and the surname is quite long too. So maybe I'll go with what you say. I am praying for twin girls hahaha.

Why not give a baby her own name instead? Melody Jo, Melody Joy, Melody Jeanne...

If you go with Melody Jane, and want to include something to signal towards your mum, then Melody Jane Victoria sounds good. You don't have to have her exact name.

And don't forget the middle names are rarely used anyway, so mostly your child will be Melody [surname].

Tbh you're right. Maybe Victoria could represent Vicky. I feel like it has to be the exact same name but you have a great point 🥰 my only issue is that the last name is several letters/3 syllables so it is a mouthful. :")

My mum would definitely have been offended
To be fair she is not the most reasonable of people

What about Melody Jade? Same ring to it but no one can be offended

Word of warning - DH and I agreed a boy’s name before I was pregnant and were really excited when we started TTC that we have a name picked out.

When I was pregnant, I absolutely hated the name, much to DH’s disappointment (and he was very very disappointed!).

Jade is a nice name and although I did grow up with a couple of friends called Jade I prefer to keep family names going if that makes sense. I am sentimental. 😅

What name do you have picked if it's a boy? What if you tell your mum and MIL: if it's a boy then middle name - Victor after your mum, if it's a girl Jane- after your MIL

Oliver Thomas (after my granddad, mum's dad)
He's no longer here and we were very close. My other granddad passed away before I really knew him but I was thinking of including his name too so it would be Oliver Thomas David

My dad and my partner's dad/granddad are someone to think about too. But I guess it's which name I like the sound of best.. That matters too.