Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

I love the scousers!

But “eh, eh, eh” sounds like “A, A, A” to me.

My family is binational and live in the UK. I've sepnt ages choosing names that would have the same pronunciation in the three countries. But we noticed that there is a slight difference between them. The kids don't mind. They live with the three pronunciations and change when giving their according to the nationality/ language they are speaking to. Different from your case I guess. But most likely when your daughter goes to school she will accept the local pronunciation because it easier than correcting people all the time

@mypafology you really don't like it when people disagree with you hey!

Not when I know I'm right, no I don't 😂

I just find it really frustrating because I do actually know what I'm talking about. I have a degree in English language and part of my current role involves linguistics. I could talk about orthographics and phonotactics and their role in why some people mispronounce Esme, but I don't think anybody would take any notice so I'm not debating it anymore 😂

…I'm not debating it anymore

That’s because you’re wrong.

Orthographics and phonotactics are neither here nor there. Esme is pronounced Ez-mee by lots of people, including by people whose name is Esme.

This is so nuts (‘nutz’).

@mypafology oh bully for you 👍🏻 I also have a degree in linguistics including Germanic philology, palaeography and codicology. I'm also Anglo-French, but who cares?! I don't see how your big words and experience are any more valuable to this exchange than mine. My sister-in-law has a PhD in Gaelic linguistics and I don't think she could make a call on this question either.

Especially when all we really want to know is what name the OP's actually on about anyway (as it obviously isn't Esmé/e).

😂😂

I have a PhD in Esme Studies. My dissertation was titled “How is the name Esme pronounced in England?”

I drew heavily on orthographics, phonotactics, gymnastics, pyrotechnics, picnics and Stevie Nicks.

I concluded beyond reasonable doubt that Esme is largely pronounced Ez-mee.

I concluded beyond reasonable doubt that Esme is largely pronounced Ez-mee.

Except where it is pronounced Ez-May.

I wonder if it’s regional? I’d genuinely never heard the Ez-Mee pronunciation until a couple of years ago.

Your contribution to this exchange was that the Esmay pronunciation has become popular as a result of Twilight.

Which for somebody who is Anglo-French is a rather surprising take

Saying that orthographics and phonotactics are neither here nor there when they actually underpin the whole issue is precisely why I can't be bothered to debate it anymore

Welcome back to the debate @mypafology! I had two points actually (with apologies to OP who won't care a fig): 1) that Ez-mee has always been the standard anglicised pronunciation of the name; and 2) that there has been a recent uptick in the popularity of the pronunciation Ez-may due to the popularity of the Twilight franchise. This has clearly caused you some agitation, which is to be regretted. I did restate that I was not saying this was the sole event that brought that pronunciation into general awareness, more that it had not been used before this. At no point did I try to suggest this was anything other than my own observation.

Sorry for being Anglo-French, it clearly clashes with some expectations of yours I am not aware of.

I thought Esme was Esmy, and that Esmé (m)/Esmée (f) was Es-may (ish)

*that should say I was NOT suggesting the name had not been used prior to Twilight, it obviously was. The 'more' there was a typo.

I only meant the wrong pronunciation based on her preference , not literally wrong .i should have perhaps said her preferred pronunciation.

It's not a legitimate pronunciation they use, they pronounce it the same as another word they are familiar with which isn't a name. It's Australia and they can't cope with anything not phonetic. Decades of not allowing brown or black people in the country has addled their brains to new words. They are name idiots.
Ok sorry I spelt Aoife wrong, I'm not Irish and I'm dislexic but at least I can pronounce it!

Erm, I’m a first language welsh speaker and that sound is in my child’s name so I know how it sounds. there is no difference in my accent between hey and hay. And there is no Phonological difference between putting the r in the first or second syllable in connected speech.

remember accents exist.

Thanks for those! The last one to me sounds like inertia, but I suspect it’s just my lack of knowledge on Irish at play. I hear tiny variations in welsh that non speakers don’t.

Yes,I wasn’t suggesting hers was a stress thing (tho it reads that way I agree) I was just pointing that out as a different pronunciation.

Aye and eye are not even the same vowel sound for me, the diphthong in aye starts with ah, in eye is starts with uh.
again accents exist.

Insistence on a certain pronunciation usually ignores that accents exist.

Ah, understood 🙂

@TheOriginalEmu , I'm aware that accents exist, but if you can't distinguish between the first syllable in Avian and Eifion, or Anal and Einion, then your ability to distinguish between sounds is not good.

If eye for you starts with an uh sound, then you probably have a strange accent or speak strangely.

There's no such thing as a strange accent, just an accent you aren't familiar with.

😂😂 that funny because I’m a speech and language therapist, it’s literally my job to be able to distinguish tiny nuances between sounds and accurately record them.
I don’t know what makes you think I can’t distinguish between Eira and Avian? possibly you misunderstood my comment about diphthongs because you don’t understand what a diphthong is? It’s two vowel sounds together to make one.
the irony is in my accent they are probably more distinct than for most people, as Eira is a diphthong and Avian is a monophthong flat sound.
I have a very standard South Walian accent, for us the vowel in the name Kai or in the welsh word Mae is different from the vowel in eye or fly. If you can’t tell them apart maybe you don’t have a very good ability to distinguish between sounds? 😒