Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

It's funny because the name is French. Being surprised that a French word would carry French pronunciation is funny.

Chloe, Penelope and Persephone are all Greek and pronounced following Ancient Greek conventions, so I'm not sure what point you're trying to make there

The point seems completely obvious: you’re wrong.

Names from France, or anywhere else, may or may not be pronounced the same when they’re adopted in different countries. The convention is by usage here, not there. If I tell someone I’m going to Paris I say ‘Parriss’; I don’t say ‘Parree’.

Oh god, that’s a side-splitter! 🙄

My DS was out with other ASD children on a day out, and they were talking about "what they had"

DS "Aspergers" (soft G)

Other Kid - "its AsperGers (hard G), the Germans dont have a soft G"

DS "Well I'm not German"

Yes. And if you read my next post I said exactly that - names will be pronounced differently according to whichever country the holder happens to live in!

...and...?

I'm not denying the existence of Anglicisation. It's unsurprising that Paris would be Anglicised, but there are plenty of other French words ending in -is that haven't been - how do you pronounce debris, or chassis?

And again, how do you and your friend pronounce the French names Renee and Andre? I'd put money on you pronouncing them correctly, ie with the -ay ending.

Esme hasn't been Anglicised over centuries of usage like Paris - it's more the opposite, that it's a fairly uncommon name in the English speaking world and so people literally don't know how to pronounce it. Andre is a better known name which is why you and your friend would know how to pronounce it.

And what? I’m not sure what point you were making, @Ceàrdaman ?

I don’t think it matters what the name is and no idea why people keep asking … what the name is changed nothing ..

@Calliopespa i would continue to correct people. Firstly politely with a gentle “we pronounce it as it is spelt” then say name…
If it were people you saw regularly and they continued to mispronounce it I’d say something more sternly like ‘it really frustrates me that you continue to pronounce her name incorrectly!’…. Please pronounce it NAME…
when she starts Nursery / preschool / school they normally ask on the forms what the name is and then preferred name/nickname .. I would write there that you want it pronounced (then write in how it’s pronounced) you even even write NOT (& then spell the way you don’t want it pronounced fanatically)…

I think you will just have to correct people… I wouldn’t change her name…. It’s no different to people with easy names having to constantly say I don’t want it shortened or do want it shortened. I had a friend called Amanda and she constantly had to tell people it was Amanda not Mandy or manda ! I know someone called Abigail who has to tell people she prefers Abby… Names are always a bone of contention however easy or hard it is to pronounce. I don’t think it’s too much of an annoyance, her friends and family will pronounce it correctly, teachers may need reminding a few times and her work colleagues of the future will only need telling a couple of times I’m sure. She may just get used to responding to both. Or ignore people who pronounce it wrong ..
my daughter is a Charlotte, never used any other name… a teacher called her Charlie the other day and she didn’t respond (she didn’t realise he was talking to her!)…. When he raised his voice she was shocked and simply said ‘sorry sir, my names Charlotte so didn’t realise you were talking to me!’ He then apologised !

Hardly the point but I thought Asperger’s was no longer used as a diagnosis. That would address the pronunciation issue!

😳sorry I’ve not been on this thread for a while but no idea why I’ve been mentioned in connection with this?

From memory I only guessed at a few names and suggested an alternative pronunciation for one.

I’m guessing people diagnosed with it prior to the change continue to use it!

Sorry I pressed @ and you were top name so assumed you were OP…
how odd that it did that

Sorry meant to tag OP
@StarShine23

Yes, this was a few years ago

You’re spectacularly missing the point.

A name may or may not be pronounced as it would be in its ‘home’ country. I suspect Esme has been influenced by names like Phoebe. But it doesn’t matter why. The fact is that Esme is routinely pronounced Ez-mee.

You said it’s never been Ez-mee. That’s just not true.

It’s not ‘wrong’ that it’s pronounced that way. It’s convention. If Renee has travelled with an ‘ay’ sound that’s also convention. Similarly debris and chassis have retained some similarity with French pronunciation. But not cul-de-sac, for example.

Edith is an English name. Édith (ay-deet) is the French import. Pronounced differently. So what?

And again, how do you and your friend pronounce the French names Renee and Andre? I'd put money on you pronouncing them correctly, ie with the -ay ending

When I was a child in the NW, we knew at least two older women whose names were 'Renee' and they were always called 'Reenie'. That’s just the way it was. Yes, the name is originally French. Yes, the French pronounce it differently and, if you like, 'correctly'. But the fact is that people may say it differently here. Just as they did/do Esme. I’m not having a go at you, mypafology, just saying it’s pointless denying what is demonstrably true 🤷‍♀️

I had a friend called Siobhan. She pronounced it She-von which most people don't. She corrected people every single time when they called her Se- vorn.

I know a Karen who insists it's pronounced Care-ren. I think she must be bloody exhausted correcting people all the time

Most people I know pronounce it Sh-vawn or Sh-von
I've never heard it start Se.
People who have never seen it written get in a right pickle, but I wouldn't have thought Se would be a logical attempt.

@SpicyMoth , Manon is a common first name in Wales.

@TheOriginalEmu , @Cascade39 , Eira is Eyr-ah. The Ey is short.
Like if you say 'Hey!' quickly not 'Hay'. The r is in the first syllable.

cf. Ava is Ay-vuh not Ayv-uh.

Siobhan does start with an Sh sound. I think most people use that sound, not Se.

I’m almost 70 years old and have lived all that time with my name, only 3 letters, being pronounced incorrectly on first introduction or when seen written down. I just correct people & afterwards they say my name correctly. Friends will often correct other people on my behalf.
I do remember when at primary school & the register was called, the teacher said my name incorrectly, I purposely didn’t respond, the teacher said my correct name afterwards.
Btw… I’m English but my name is Scottish after a favourite great aunt, and I’ve never met another person with the same name.

Sorry, an auto correct. She pronounced it She-von. It is the von ( rhymed with gone) that was different to how seemingly every other person pronounced it. She spent a lot of time correcting people.

I've heard She-von quite a bit, maybe in the US more than here. It might be an accent thing though.

Like if you say 'Hey!' quickly not 'Hay'.

Hay and hey are pronounced exactly the same for me.

@shearwater2 , not if you are saying Hey! quickly. Like in 'Hey! Stop!"
Compare it with Aye and Eye or I. Aye sounds longer than Eye or I.