Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

My mother named me after someone she knew from abroad and for 43 years I’ve had people pronounce my name wrong. I hated the attention it brought me right throughout school, college & pretty much everywhere, constantly having to correct people’s pronunciation, explain where my name came from etc. In business I’ve chosen to use my second name, which is easy to pronounce and is a bog standard, common English name. In my personal life family and friends know me as my given name, but I don’t introduce myself as that to new people any more .

Assuming the UK pronunciation is correct i.e. not for ex an Irish name that is mispronounced, use your pronunciation at home / with family but accept that others won’t and don’t correct them (as technically they are correct!)

I’m from another country, my name is also used here, it would be odd for me to correct people in the UK when they use the english pronunciation.

A.
People are dicks. You can spell a name Sarah and pronounce it Gary if you want. Stick with the same and correct people. People who are family and friends will use the correct way.

I have a complicated “foreign” name, always have to spell it but it honestly is no big deal and I like I’m not generic. It always seems to be a problem on MN with people saying don’t name them that they’ll have to spell it, so?

accent as far as I know, as we didn’t live there so picked up local slang.

but even regional accents can vary. Newcastle is very different from Middlesbrough, for example.

no doubt she went in to become a mumsnetter regularly starting thread about all the different and varied ways people are pissing her off and perceived injustice against her!

I understand this is not a case of correct/incorrect pronunciation.
An example upthread: Guy. In French it rhymes with ‘me’, in English it rhymes with ‘pie’.
Would be ridiculous to correct someone using the English prononciation if in the UK (especially with no French origins)

Are you telling me we never find out what the name is? 😁 I’m dead

Not the sort of thing I can get worked up about. I thought I gave son 1 the simplest name in the world, but people still manage to screw it up! (he is named a shortened version of a name, but so many people use the lengthened version!)
Son 2, again, I thought I gave him a fairly simple name with the most common, traditional spelling of the name. But nope, 90% of people, first time saying it, get it wrong!!

I’ve just read the whole thread to find out if my guess that the name is Evelyn is correct or not. 🥱

Also, Sarah and Sara are completely different names.

It would be helpful to know the name @StarShine23 . I doubt anyone will be offended by knowing you prefer a different pronunciation of their name.

I wondered whether it was something like Thea. I know two, one pronounced Thee-uh and one pronounced Tay-uh

I have an unusual name and no one ever pronounces it correctly at first. It’s really not a big deal, I don’t get precious about it and rarely even bother correcting them unless they ask.

At work we have a few Karens and they all insist on it being pronounced differently. None of them are Karen, it’s all Car-en or Care-en.

I also work with a woman with this name and she pronounces it Queeva. However I also know of someone (who called her three children ridiculous names) who has a brother called Keavy which (correct me if I am wrong) is an Anglicised derivative of this name based on being a fan of B*Witched. He pronounces it Keevy. 🙄

If the name can be shortened and she has a middle name which is more pronounceable, the girl has options. You've done enough.

No need to change her name, especially given you think it suits her, and it was named after an actual person who touched your life as opposed to a random foreign name you thought sounded pretty.

FWIW, people can mispronounce any name. I have friends with very standard English names, and people still get them wrong. Changing a name doesn't guarantee you any more success with people saying it correctly.

As someone with an obscure first name (Never met anyone else with it at all), I hate it and always have and it's nothing but an annoyance.
It's fine when I'm asked my name, but when it's written down/read that's where I have issues because it's needlessly spelled in a fancy French way!
I used to correct people, but I really just can't be arsed anymore - That doesn't mean it's not annoying when people get it wrong though.

Think similar to the "an" sound at the end of "Bethan" for example, but it instead get's pronounced phonetically as "own" or "on".
It's frustrating.

Failing those I've even had people straight up call me a different name all together during registration/role call, to this day I have no idea how.

I can't change it either as my mum has a massive reaction every time I've ever brought it up.

I have a name like that and I wish my parents had just chosen the more common version. Instead they went in heavy with the gaslighting about being proud of it, unique etc.

If I correct people they can get sniffy and don’t remember anyway. If I just let it slide, people get upset when they see the spelling, and still don’t remember the next time.

I understand. I know an Anna and an Anya, a Marie (marEE) and Marie (MAHRee) and a Mia (MEEa) Mia (MYa)and it’s very hard to keep them straight, even when I’m very aware of the importance of calling someone by their actual name.

Just call your dc something that makes like easy.

Michael used to get shortened to Mike or Mick regularly, its not sue a popular name now.

Those with the name will introduce themselves with the name of their choice - just keep refreshing people on how to say your dads name

I have partial hearing and often can not tell subtle pronunciation differences.

My name was rare as a child and everyone including teachers said it wrong and I hated my name aged 6-12, then loved its uniqueness and now its common. I think a simple correction when someone gets it wrong and not getting offended and all will be fine.

But how many times do you correct it? This is why I let it go as I really can not be bothered any more with correcting it.

That’s interesting. My English MIL pronounces Elsa from Frozen as Ailsa!

I am someone who has a name that isn't massively uncommon, but is often corrected/misspelt/mispronounced in favour of a much more popular name. Think Emma corrected to Emily.

I absolutely hate that many people get it wrong. Sometimes friends do it by accident because it's an automatic correction for them. I feel like they don't know me, that I don't have my own identity, and I find it very frustrating and wearing correcting people all the time. Often when meeting people it becomes the focus/sticking point instead of my personality and I find it interrupts the normal and spontaneous meeting of new people. It's like my name isn't Emma, but Emma-not-Emily. Hard to explain!

If I had a choice I would have had a different name as a child. I love my name and much prefer it to the common alternative, but I feel like I can't enjoy it. It's know characteristic is that it's known for being misspelled or mispronounced, not that it's a nice name, if that makes sense.

........and.....................?

Anyone else skimmed through to see if we found out the name??

People’s names get mis pronounced all the time because we are lazy. Same way as my names has at least three variations of spelling and people will choose the one that is most familiar to them rather than the actual spelling. My sons name get mispronounced because it’s easier (in terms of tongue movements when speaking ) to say it another way. I think you’re being precious tbh. As long as your nearest and dearest pronounce it properly who cares? It’s the same with names that can be shortened your never going to win that battle.

A guy called Ghee and a ghee called Guy