Cousins with the same first name

[TA3]

Having our first baby, I have only one name and it happens to be the same name as my husbands brothers child, we never see them maybe once a year. Would you use the name?

I know it a fair bit in traveller families I know. Big Patrick, little Patrick, Pat. It's all quite confusing.

@TA3

I don’t expect everyone to agree but again I’m not choosing a name i kind of like over something I love just because of an awkward encounter once a year.

Well I agree 🙂. I think it's weird how over-invested some people are over some supposed micro-awkwardness that may occur once a year, if that! Unless it's a really unusual name, there'll likely be many others with same name that they'll encounter far more frequently over their lives at school, friendship groups and work, without them having any identity crises!

No definitely not, no matter how much you like the name

Well it's a bit different if they all live cheek by jowl in a close knit community.

so you want to call your child's your neices name because there is no other name in the world you could possibly use 🤔

There's often one name that stands out over all the rest. That's how you choose. Of course there are other names but OP happens to love this one and wants her child to have it.It just happens to be the same as a cousin who they hardly see. It's a non issue.

As mentioned, families have father and son same name which I find odd but they don't.

father son same name is tradition cousin exact name is silly however you try and frame it, .

Use it. A couple I knew had four grandchildren called James (plus others).

I think it kind of depends on the name. Something like Evie, Charlotte, grace etc which are very popular you could get away with but if it's a unique, unusual name I really wouldn't as it would be too awkward. Gwendoline or juniper or something!

That's insane. I'd say siblings children are the only names off limits, cousins go for it but not siblings

No, I think you should choose something else. I'd find it incredibly strange and would avoid doing this personally.

Woukd you be able to use a similar name? For example, James to Jamie, Harrison to Harry or Jack to Jaxon etc.

No. It's too close family and it would be really off to do that. There are thousands of other names. If things were reversed and you SIL did that, I bet you'd be furious

How would this work at family gatherings? Far too confusing and just plain annoying for other family members.

You'd think they could have at least chosen variants of the name: Jamie, Jameson etc.

How would this work at family gatherings? Far too confusing and just plain annoying for other family members.

Why are people so obsessed with family gatherings that according to the OP happen very rarely, and fretting about such an ultra minor issue. Anyone would think we never encounter anyone with the same name at school, work and in social life, and the world implodes when we do!

Sorry, I see you are referring to the 4 James'... that does sounds a bit much!

Why would you be furious that someone who you barely ever meet called their child the same name?.... to the extent that you wouldn't even recognise the child if you stumbled across them? I think people are projecting their much closer family dynamics on the OP.

Yes, use the name. I never understand why this would bother anyone. Lots of people have the same name as each other and it causes precisely zero harm.

There are people in my family who have the same name. We survive the meeting!

Really. It’s fine. In general it’s obvious who you’re talking about.

I have a cousin who’s five years younger than me with the same first name and surname as me. We live in a very small town and grew up together. I always found it a bit strange that her parents didn’t choose a different name.

My brother and my cousin have the same first name and surname but that was common in Ireland back then plus we there were 30 cousins altogether so nobody really noticed !

Her husband doesn't barely know them if it's his brother. It's weird

I think it is fine, cousins often have the same name and nobody thinks anything of it. I have two cousins (not that I ever see them, haven't for many years), and my son who all have the same first name.

You see them once a year? Of course you can use it!

What is the name?
If the name is a family name and fairly ordinary, then it shouldn't matter too much.
If the name is fairly unusual or very current, then it looks unimaginative.

Yes