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Original poster

Cousins with the same first name

100 replies

TA3 · 11/02/2024 22:21

Having our first baby, I have only one name and it happens to be the same name as my husbands brothers child, we never see them maybe once a year. Would you use the name?

OP posts:
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RomainesToBeSeen · 11/02/2024 23:06

I wouldn't. We had a name in mind for DC1 but SIL chose the same name before we did. So yes, still a tiny bit cross that we didn't get our 'first choice name' but it would have been really confusing for DMIL to have had two grandchildren with the same name.

TheFairyCaravan · 11/02/2024 23:13

My cousin named her child the same name as my youngest. It didn’t bother me but it confused my granny who had 2 great grandchildren with the same name.

SIL was pregnant at the same time as I was pregnant with DS1. She named her DS the name we had for DS1 (we’d not told anyone, it was just a coincidence) so we chose another name.

I wouldn’t do it

AnnetteKurtan · 11/02/2024 23:24

In a family where I’ve seen two of my cousins being named the same (caused a riot! 😅) then another cousin (one of their sisters!) naming their child the same as mine (inc surname) I thought it was a bit bizarre, of all the names ….

must have been a weird thing in their family unit tbh 🤨

Ponderingwindow · 11/02/2024 23:32

I would not. There are plenty of other names to choose.

amz4 · 11/02/2024 23:48

I wouldn't

NewName24 · 12/02/2024 00:34

No, of course not.
There are thousands of names out there.
It would be daft to use the same name as your PiLs' other Grandchild.

Laurabeee · 12/02/2024 00:48

my baby has the same name as his cousin. Cousin is 18 years older though so they won’t ever be at school together etc. I asked my brother if he was okay with it and he said yes no problem. Nobody in my family has commented or had any issues. They don’t have the same surnames and love hundreds of miles apart. The older one liked the younger one having the same name:

Gingerkittykat · 12/02/2024 01:25

I have a large family and 4 sets of cousins share a name.

F's are only a couple of years apart and have different surnames so when talking about them refer to them by full names.

The two Ls are spelled differently, about 12 years apart in age. Their mums are sisters and don't seem to care.

The other two names have been stolen by the American cousins!

LilBus · 12/02/2024 01:36

No I wouldn’t do this and can’t believe anyone would even if you hardly see them it’s really weird.

mihele · 12/02/2024 05:44

In my family, certain names are repeated and they see each other a lot. I don't think it matters if you really like the name, but it gets confusing.

Advice400 · 12/02/2024 05:47

We had 2x same name in the family, albeit different generations and through marriage. One was always called something else to differentiate.

Avoid.

shearwater2 · 12/02/2024 06:06

Go for it, no one owns a name. DD1 has the same name as my aunt, as I always loved the name from a young age. I have two cousins and a close family friend with the same name, and a cousin and uncle with the same name (not father and son). We are quite a small family as well, but no one was bothered by any of it.

Outthedoor24 · 12/02/2024 06:20

I wouldn't they'll be forever known a Big Name and Little Name.

I always knew of my Dads cousin Big Name, I always thought Big Name was a big man, 6ft and heavy. I eventually met Big Name aged about 60 at a funeral he was a average slender man.
Then it came out he was known as Big Name because he was 10 years older than Uncle Same Name

Unless it's a family name then I really wouldn't. It will cause so much confusion and be a pain for the Grandparents on that side. I could cope with 2nd cousins with the same name but not first.

Outthedoor24 · 12/02/2024 06:34

I've also come across two people, same name, different generations. By the time news spread one had died people were thinking it was the other one.

I'd avoid if you can.

SnobblyBobbly · 12/02/2024 06:50

I wouldn't. We had a name lined up which was already in the family (actually my sisters in laws side who we see once a year if that) but it would have meant my niece & nephew had two cousins with the same name and I just didn't like the idea of my DD being the second version.

Went on to name her something else which became as common as hell so she's very rarely the only one anywhere we go 😆 But I wouldn't have chosen to do it on purpose.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 12/02/2024 06:54

No… I get you might have loved the names for years but your BIL and wife got there first. There are so many names … tell us the name and we can suggest something else

MiniCooperLover · 12/02/2024 06:56

No, you are guaranteeing a family rift.

ColleenDonaghy · 12/02/2024 07:01

No way.

Maybe if you're going to drip feed that your DH is one of 8 and there are already 40 cousins. But even so, just don't.

Will they have the same surname too? Names are supposed to be identifiers, doesn't really work if there are two Jane Browns in the same family!

Original poster
TA3 · 12/02/2024 07:20

Hi everyone thanks for all your messages. I know lots of people who have cousins with the same name. Some different surname and others not, it’s nice to see feed back and honest opinions. Grandparents aren’t active in any of the kids life’s so don’t think confusion for them would be an issue but I will take the other things on board before making a final decision, have looked at other names lots and keep coming back to this one, wish I didn’t like it so much would make it a lot easier. Haven’t came across one I like as much. Thanks everyone again.

OP posts:
BlindurErBóklausMaður · 12/02/2024 07:24

As above.
Perfectly fine and very common if it's a family tradition.
Otherwise, do a search on the millions of threads where WW3 has broken out because "she stole my name".

ColleenDonaghy · 12/02/2024 07:26

I think cousins with the same name was more common in previous generations with larger families and a smaller pool of names to choose from. I know people my age and older with cousins who share a name, but not children. I think it's no longer seen as acceptable and I do think eyebrows will be raised.

Choose another beautiful name that won't have others talking about you for all the wrong reasons.

Wishlist99 · 12/02/2024 07:27

But it’s not just the same first name - presumably the same last name (as this is your DH’s brothers child). If it was just first name - fine. But exactly the same first and last name, absolutely not. (And as a very minor point, I’m a solicitor and I’m even thinking about bequests in wills etc which become complicated if people have the same or similar names.)

Original poster
TA3 · 12/02/2024 07:42

Thanks. I suppose because we never see them and don’t live near them i thought it wouldn’t be an issue at all, kids won’t be at the same school or socialise together. If I seen the child I don’t think they would know me or my husband, hes 7 they had another baby who’s 2 now who I have never seen nor has my husband. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal but going by some of the comments maybe I should reconsider. Thanks

OP posts:
Moonfishstar · 12/02/2024 07:44

I'm not sure why so many posters think it's such a big deal given they almost never see the OP's DD-to-be's cousin. If the cousins lived across the street and would be part of each other's lives then, yes, I can see that would be problematic, but not using the one name you love simply because someone else related has it who you barely see doesn't make any sense.

What's the issue? The problems it will cause are marginal. I'm guessing they even won't either have the same surname either!

Moonfishstar · 12/02/2024 07:47

Sorry, I see they will probably have the same surname, but i don't think that really matters.

OP - I think some people are projecting their own family situations because they are close to their nieces and nephews. Not everyone is, and that's fine.