Would it be weird to use the middle name

[Marshmallowtoastie]

I’d like to name my baby a fairly common first name and a middle name from our culture, then we would use the middle name day to day and always introduce them by the middle name.
Do you think I could ask the school or other places to use the middle name as well? I’m worried it will be confusing, but I like that they have the option when applying for jobs or go to new places when they are older that they will have the option of a British sounding name, as we’ve experienced issues ourselves due to our names.

If you want to. On school forms I always have been asked for preferred name, my daughter goes but a shortened version of her name but not the standard one and it’s not been a problem (still in primary)

It will be a pain, probably.

But why not do it the other way round and put the English name in the middle? There is nothing to stop them using it when they are older - they can put "John Smith" on their CV and LinkedIn profile, and only need to give the full name when they actually accept a job offer and need to get the contract and everything set up.

Seems easier that way. Plus, they might not ever want to be "John Smith" anyway if they have spent their life being called something else.

Don’t. I’m called by my middle name. It’s a f pita for all official admin, doctors and dentists, everybody. I don’t hate it. I loathe it and refused to follow the “family tradition” for my own DCs. Call your DC by the first name you want to call them and use the middle name for random stuff. They will think kindly of you in the future if you do this.

We have this for one dc, it is pain but not a huge problem.
I wouldn't have chosen it and still wouldn't but it works.

Yes it's fine.

(My DBro and my DDad both have names like that)

But there will be times when people use the first name by default, so your DC needs to learn to respond to both. Medical waiting rooms is one such place, but it can happen just about any brush with officialdom.

Absolutely you can. I'm a teacher and have taught several children whose chosen name is not the first name on their birth certificate. You just put on the data collection form what their chosen name is and this will be the name they call them by and what will appear on their books, peg, tray etc. Most people in the school won't even realise that's not their official first name as that's all they'll know them as.

For example, I've taught at least 5 boys whose official name is Muhammad/Mohammed but not a single one of them went by that name as they're named after older males in the family. All go by their middle name in school. It's also very common for children to go by a short-form or nickname (for example I taught a Sasha who was technically Aleksandra but we never ever called her that, her name was changed to Sasha on our system).

I'm a teacher too and students names are always what's on their birth cert on our system. I always get students to introduce themselves to me by their preferred name but a lot of teachers would call them by their name on the system (which in your case would be the first name). I've taught students who have been too shy to correct anyone.

Ramesh Ranganathan’s first name is Jonathan….

I work in a school office - We have many children who have full names or go by middle names - we can put things in the “Known As” field…so you can put in what he is known as…

This is my experience as well.

What is bad about it for those that hate it? Is it just that people get confused?

My husband is known by his middle name. It is a total pain! Stupid things like having to remember to use the right initial for booking holidays. And more complicated things like his exam certificates not matching his passport when he went to start his new job. And really scary things where his medical records seem to be divided in two so knowing that if he is ever in a car crash and arrives at hospital unconscious then there is a 1 in 2 chance that they won’t know about the drug he is allergic to.

Call him “Name from your culture, British name, Surname”. If he wants to use the British name when he is older then he will be choosing himself to take on the hassle.

If you get qualifications in Middle then Surname they don’t easily match with id like passport. I could have changed to using my real first name but it didn’t feel like “me”.

All hospitals ask for preferred name but they obviously don’t use it calling in the waiting room so I have to remember to listen for my proper first name. Just once (frequent flyer for hospital) they were calling my first name for bringing round after surgery- I wonder if I responded slower, not sure).

Also, I have just had to renew my driving license photo ID card. My driving licence is in my middle name but I couldn’t renew it online as they wanted to use my passport photo which they then classified using my first name. I had to go the a specific post office (not local) to get them to take my photo and I had to pay ££ for the privilege, plus petrol plus parking costs plus time.

For example, I've taught at least 5 boys whose official name is Muhammad/Mohammed but not a single one of them went by that name as they're named after older males in the family. All go by their middle name in school
I was going to give the same example. It isn't a problem at all.Their legal name is on the system and their certificates are in their full legal name, but day to day they go by their middle name.

I would imagine passports and driving licences will be in their full legal name too.

If they get to adulthood and start mixing and matching on different documents then that's not an issue that's from using a middle name. It's a not putting important documents in their legal name issue.

All hospitals ask for preferred name

MiL always went by her middle name (her choice because she detested her first name).

But when she started having to go into hospital near the end of her life - sometimes in a confused state - they seemed weirdly unable to use her middle name despite being told. Though come to think, that was in the unit recently in the news for nurses drugging their patients so hopefully not typical.

One of my DBs has always been called by one of his middle names, afaik it's never been a problem for him.

I think this is what I’m thinking. I’m surprised pp have been able to get licenses and qualifications in their middle name.
I presumed the British name would be the first name on all official documents, but the middle name would be a preferred name.
like choosing to go by a nickname almost.

It's totally fine. Every education setting I've worked in has had kids with different names used to their given Christian name. Some bear no resemblance to anything on their birth certificate!
Often the kids will move up from nursery to primary so the kids will already associate them as 'Hettie' rather than 'Jemima Harriet'.
Supply teachers occasionally get caught out when they're using the register (which may have official names) but it's all part of the fun.

Such a non issue. I know loads of kids and adults like this.

It really is a pain.

Say your name is Sara Jane. You're known by everyone as Jane, so you use that on official stuff but then you have to show ID and it causes so many issues. It's actually worse now that everything has to match and is computerised than when I was younger.

My first name is never used so I miss to hear it when people call my name in places like the Gps as they cannot get around the middle name thing. You spend more time explaining you're known as than describing your issue too.

I presumed the British name would be the first name on all official documents, but the middle name would be a preferred name.like choosing to go by a nickname almost

I can't remember the legal technicalities but I'm sure I read that technically anyone in the UK can change their name on different things as long as there's no attempt to be fraudulent.

So the easiest thing to do, and the one that is the most common sense, is to have a birth certificate with a legally recognised name, use the legal (as in birth certificate name) for all important documents, and use your middle name as a preferred name day to day.

Same. It's so, so annoying.

My uncle was Thomas Arthur aka Arthur
His oldest son as Thomas Arthur aka Thomas
His younger son is John Arthur aka Ian.
The grandfather was Thomas.

My mother was Mary Catherine aka Kitty
Our daughter Catherine aka Kate

In your case call her by her second name and at school introduce Mary Anne as Ann, Anne, or Annie, whatever she has been known as for 4 years

My foster son has a non-English name. It's proved impossible for strangers as it's spelt very differently to how it's pronounced. People who know us take the time to get it right but others don't.

He got fed up with it being pronounced SO wrong. He's therefore shortened his first name to something which people can pronounce and is more "European".

In addition, he's now coming up to the age where he's going to be looking for a job and sadly he has a genuine concern that potential employers may just pass over his CV because of his name.

He therefore sticking with this shortened version. He shouldn't have had to do that and should be able to embrace his culture, but realistically it's worked well!

If you want to call them that name, then use it! We had a friend who was known by his middle name, he said it was a pain for his job as had to have legal name, getting called at the GP and hospital post op by a name you don’t recognise, just really awkward. He legally changed his name to make it his first.

I think when considering anecdotes on this topic, it's best to rule out any regarding much older generations.

Two reasons:

• First names are used much more often now. In the past, professionals and strangers would call you Mrs Smith and not need to know whether you preferred Elizabeth, Betty or Rumpelstiltskin. Nowadays, everyone is on first name terms, so the issue is unavoidable.

• Computerisation and stricter rules give less flexibility.

I just can’t see any benefit to it? (Other than where someone has decided to change to their middle name themself when older.) call the child the name you’ll use. Give them an English middle name if you want. If they want to use the English name when they’re older they can do, and dealing with the hassle of being known as their middle name will be a choice they’ve consciously made, rather than been saddled with by their parents.