Changing an infant's name when she's nearly 2

[Backtothe90splease]

When DD was born we couldn't decide on her name for weeks. We narrowed it down to two and went back and forth and eventually gave her one of the names with the other as a middle name. They quite similar, and start with the same letter.

I've had momentary wobbles since but always stuck with the choice. Last night I woke up in the night and just had a dawning realisation that I preferred the other name and I'd never have a chance to name a child again and I'd fucked it up.

She's 2 in September. Is it too late? I haven't broached it with DH or anyone else but can imagine the people who bought us lovely personalised gifts won't be too happy...

It doesn't help that people don't pronounce the name we chose as we'd expected. That's probably the case for a lot of names to be honest, people get my wrong all the time.

Gah. Is this a blip? Anyone changed a name this late?

My husband was named after a family member and was called by his initials until he was two as they didn’t actually want him to be called by that name and didn’t know what else to do. After that he became known by his middle name and that’s been his name ever since. He only uses his full name for official documents etc. So change it now before she’s too much older but I think it’ll be fine. She’ll adjust quickly and won’t remember being called anything else if you change it now.

You need to correct people who mispronounce her name. That makes far more sense than changing it because people can't pronounce it. That's crazy.

If it still doesn't sit right then start using her middle name. Lots of people go by their middle name.

I completely agree with those who say you can't change a 2 year olds name. It really isn't on at this stage.

I think you need to concentrate your mind on something else and not be so fixated in this. Enjoy your daughter.
I'm sure there are loads of us who if given their time again would choose a different name. But it's done now. It needs putting into perspective as it's not a big deal, but changing it would be.

If people are pronouncing her name incorrectly then you need to correct them . Are you using an unusual pronunciation ?

My eldest was at school with a girl who was called, Alexis, Alexandra and Lexi.. at different stages during the first year at school.

I think you could change it, especially as it's her middle name.

Don't keep calling her chubs though... she is 2...

I correct people daily on my name and there's only one sodding way to say it
There's a male version, which is the one people keep calling me. I've said if it hasn't stopped happening by the time I'm 40 in 6 months then I'm changing my name by deed poll as I'm fed up

Changing it at this age is quite frankly ridiculous

Just correct the people saying her name wrong. I had to do that with one of my DC even though their name was pronounced as written. Some people just have a poor memory for names.

But no, I don’t think you should change her name now. It’s part of her and her identity. I know she’s still a child, but imagine how you’d feel if someone changed your name. Names area big part of who we are.

TBH, I think you’re making this a problem when it really isn’t. I’m sure her first name is fine. Don’t torture yourself like this.

I’ve never really liked my name, it just doesn’t suit me. Old friends use a rather stupid family nickname which I prefer. But I always introduce myself with my given name, as that’s what it is, my name and identity. I’ve never lost any sleep over it and neither will your dd. Just correct people’s pronunciation if it will help.

If child is less than 2 years old - idk, if you do anything, definitely change it before she actually turn 2. That said, you shouldn't have need to change it if you plan to use middle - just use middle.
That said, is your child name Lucia? That name has three different pronunciations and I totally understand if you want to change that name, because everyone has very strong opinion how to pronounce Lucia - at least in English speaking world.

You can't change it now no, at 6 months maybe yes, but at 2 years old definitely not

I know a couple who adopted two boys recently , the younger boy had a pretty cringey name, so they changed it gradually , initially by using the two names together ie. John Peter then saying the second one louder for while ‘John PETER’ and then eventually dropping the first one altogether so he’s just Peter . Over about a month or two…. and he didn’t notice . A couple of years on and he’s fine.

Why don't you just start calling her by her middle name?

If the name you prefer is her middle name then surely you could start using it as her nickname/preferred name for her?

My Grandad was the only person who called me by (a shortened version of) my middle name and I remember that really fondly. With some children it really sticks. I have a friend who's son's name, that everyone uses, from school to family to friends, is actually his middle name.

But yes, it's too late to officially change it. It's an option for them as adults, of course, but it is their choice now, not yours.

Are you one of those parents who gives their kid a name like 'sian' and everyone pronounces it normally, 'charn' and your upset because people don't know you ant them to say SeeAnn?

You really have to stop calling her chubster 😳 poor kid.

I think it’s fine to change it, it’s already her middle name. Just say ‘as we’ve got to know her and her personality has developed, we feel like she suits her middle name more’. No need to change officially on documents. I honestly wouldn’t really question it if a friend did it.

After a while, all names just "become" the person they refer to in our minds. You might not always feel like you do about her name.

Gently, I don't think it is usual to feel so upset about it, it doesn't mean you've made some terrible mistake. She has a name, I suspect the name is absolutely fine, you haven't messed up.

And it definitely isn't normal or ok to change the names of older adopted kids - I don't think this happens.

I know at least 4 people who use or have used their middle name for everything except official documents. They haven't bothered changing it by deed poll. 2 of them have reverted to their first name in adulthood.

It's not your name anymore it's hers so leave it. Even if you don't like it she might, or if you change it to something you like she might change it herself again anyway. Once you name someone you really don't control it anymore.

If you are verbally changing the name, see if you can by legal means if you want to.

ignore everyone here, do what’s right for you

My goodness what rot people spout.

I had a friend that went by her middle name. I didn't realise for years that her real name was something else. Her first name was an old fashioned family name that didn't really suit her and is only used for official purpose. Day to day everyone used her middle name. Maybe when she's a bit older you could ask her which one she prefers to be called.

I don't think you could change the name fully now as she has started developing mentally and it could cause a massive issue with 'self' in the future. If you call her ...-.... ie first and middle name then try out just the middle name for a while. A close friend of mine's parents did that with her and since around 6 she has solely gone by her middle name and they have had it legally changed.

But it's true. Her daughter is a whole actual person who might love her old name or her new name but they might choose their own name at 11 or change sex at 17 or whatever. It's kind of pointless getting hung up on the name and what kind of idiot changes a kids name after 2 years anyway?