Cultural appropriation or not? Middle name

[FoilWrappedBiscuit]

We wanted to give our new baby my gran's name as a middle name.

My gran's real name is a traditional English name. Think Doris.

But since she was a teenager, everyone has known her as another name, one that is very obviously from another culture. Let's say Parvati. Everyone knows her as Parvati, her husband, her children, everyone - and has done for 70+ years.

Now I knew she got the name Parvati from a film, because she loved the character and thought she was beautiful, and hated her real name. But I only found out recently that the character in the film was portrayed by a white actor using brownface.

This is making me hesitate. The name itself is so bound up with my gran that I'd sort of glossed over my misgivings about giving an English girl an Indian middle name, but this backstory makes me a bit uncomfortable on my daughter's behalf. I'm imagining her growing up, having to explain her middle name... "I'm named after my great gran. No, she wasn't Indian, she just saw a character in brownface and stole the name"... It's not good, is it?? But I want to honour my gran. I've thought about just going for "Doris" but since nobody has called her that name for over 70 years it seems totally pointless. Wwyd??

Maria is a perfectly normal name for a white person.
Maria Sharapova (Tennis)
Maria Doyle Kennedy (Actress)
Maria Fowler (The only way is Essex)
Maria Kirilenko (Tennis)
Maria Bamford (Comedian)
Maria Von Trapp (Made famous because of The Sound of Music)

Maria is a very standard English name. Jane Austen used it for some of her characters.

Many widely used names across the world originate from biblical times. Who owns them? Whose permission do we need to use them? Surely most people have more pressing matters to worry about than getting huffy about names?

I know lots of people with names borrowed from other cultures, non-religious people with biblical names, Italians with English names, British people with Spanish names etc. Don’t over think your gran's particular back story re the film, use the name because it was hers.

@veniceorna does this apply to anyone not Hispanic or just white English people.?

Oh, Goodness. Use the name your Gran loves!

My gran's real name is a traditional English name. Think Doris.

Oddly enough, I know someone of Indian descent who gran’s first name is Doris.

I just wouldn't bother at all and either have no middle name or just find a random one you like

I was thinking Kanchi too, immediately sprung to mind.

I think you’re probably overthinking it OP!

Cultural appropriation is a totally bollocks notion most of the time. If you're literally stealing the work of a POC, then yes, feel bad. Using a name for a sentimental reason - just do it.

@veniceorna Wow, how incredibly ignorant and racist of you. Europeans have a long heritage with the name Maria.

Cultural appropriation requires the person 'borrowing' something from another culture to have little or no knowledge about its role and significance in that culture because its attractive or 'exotic' to them in some way.

The op wants to name after her grandparent and demonstrates understanding of problematic incidences of cultural appropriation and incidences of racism associated with the name. Which puts her more on the cultural appreciation side of the fence.

Op, I think you're ok to use the name as you'd like to - especially if you learn more about its meaning in its originating culture.

I thought Maria came from Mariam/Maryam which is how Mary the Mother of Jesus is named in the Quran.

😂Well as long as you bestow your benevolent permission. Have you in turn asked the elders of the church of wokery if you could give permission or are you self-appointed?

I like your gentle and patronising 'educate yourself' at the end.

!!!!!!!!!! And there may well be another main world religion of the Europeans that makes reference to Mary....I can't put my finger on what it is though. Tip of my tongue...

Good grief.

I thought Maria came from Mariam/Maryam which is how Mary the Mother of Jesus is named in the Quran.

It’s probably safe to assume that you are not convent educated.

If it was a film then it was probably adapted from a book. Even if it wasn’t it would still be a screen play. So you could say it was a name it a play/book my Grandma liked.

Maria is the Latin version of Mary.

’I'm Hispanic and I'd find it quite disrespectful if a English white person used 'Maria'’

Well you’d better tell my mother and her mother and her mother and her mother … And Ireland. And the Catholic Church. And just about every European country. And the Romans.

How odd, isn't Mary the English version of Maria? And Maria the Latin version of Maryam / Mariam?

From wiki:
What was Jesus mother real name?
Jesus' mother called was mary or maria and mariam. Mary's name in the original manuscripts of the New Testament was based on her original Aramaic name מרים, transliterated as Maryam or Mariam.

The name Maria is used the world over and is certain not a only a Latin American name?

Maria is a commonly-used name in white British families.

Then you're just looking for offence.
White English people have been called Maria for hundreds of years. It's a perfectly usual name for a white English person.

I'd try to work it in as a middle name, but slightly changed or shortened. Or add a syllable.

Or use gran's maiden name?

You just want a name you like, that also honours gran. Or maybe ask gran to help you choose a middle name? That's also a nice naming story to pass on to your dd.

I would use a variant of the name or change it a bit. For example, Parvati = Arva, Parvi, Vati or something, if possible! Then it is its own name while still honouring your grandmother.

By being an entirely different name?