Is this a really terrible idea for a middle name??

[Shouldhavereadtheinstructions]

Since we had DS1 we always said that if DC2 was a girl then her middle name would be my grandma's name. She is a truly amazing woman and we would both love to do this in her honour. But of course.... We are now expecting a boy!

We have thought of alternatives and even went so far as asking my grandma if she had any favourite boys names she would choose e.g. that my grandad hadn't liked 😂but I just keep coming back to really wanting her actual name to live on. DS2 is likely to be her last great grandchild (and obviously I can't tell anyone else what to name their kid!).

Would it be truly terrible to give DS her name as a middle name anyway? It's not a super 'girly' name as she goes by a nickname. E.g. think El rather than Eleanor or Kat rather than Katherine. On the one hand I think it's be wonderful to be named after such an amazing person and for his middle name to have a story. And it's very easy not to share your middle name widely if he is anxious in certain contexts. But is he just going to get awfully teased? Does that even matter as kids will always find something to tease about??

What do you think? Does anyone have any similar experiences?

I think you're going to have to tell us the name before anyone can advise you.

What is the name?

In real life, nobody uses their middle names, I have no idea what any of my colleagues middle names are - and I’m close friends with them. Not even sure I could remember any of my friends middle names come to think of it. I think it’s actually better if the name is unusual and memorable!

It's not Doris is it ? 🤣
Sorry, couldn't resist.
I think we have to know the name really !!

Oh come on

I knew a Loris..
Boy.

It depends on what it is, but it sounds like a bad idea. Her memory will always live on with you, regardless of whether your son has her name

Can't say until we know the name 💁

Well, would your husband be happy to have it as HIS middle name? Maybe he could try using it at work or somewhere public and see how he feels about it.... if he's embarrassed to introduce himself using it, I think you have your answer.

Use her maiden name as a middle name, rather than a female name.

Depends what it is.
inhave my dads middle name as a middle name - it was his mums maiden name - a surname / boys name like Tyler or similar ( but way more identifiable 😂). Hated it till I was about 50….. now I’m even older and my dad has died I wish vaguely we’d imposed ot on at least one of ours ( both my sister and I had it As second middle name )

Sorry need to know the name.

It's a great idea. Why not?

DD has a family surname as a middle. Not girly, not a first name. It works and she's good with it.

“A boy named Su”
(Country and Western song)

What's the name? Impossible to say without it. Alternatively, what about her maiden name?

Brenda?

Is it Muriel?

One of my middle names is a men's name (passed down from a male family member) and it's never ever bothered me, only comments I've ever had about it are asking where it's come from as it's a bit unusual but nobody thinks it's strange - I say go for it

What's the name?

Names like Mo, Sal, Jo, maybe, Peg, Meg, Flo not so much!

Generally speaking it’s a recipe for bullying to give a boy a girl’s name. I wouldn’t do it OP

I'm not sure why you're so intent on using a female name even though you're having a boy; I get that it has sentimental value to you but you need to think of your boy and the times in his life he'll have to say it out loud to people.
My DH was embarrassed at his middle name being Jim (instead of James, his grandad was called Jim by everyone) when we got married he was nervous of it being said out loud by the vicar 😆I bet his parents didn't consider that but I guess that's actually a male name!

I'd go for it, OP.

This idea of pandering to hypothetical future bullies is nonsense. If it's important to you, do it.

I know a bloke with the middle name Rose - I think it's actually a family surname.

He seems perfectly well adjusted.

Depends on the name some would be ok others a definite hard no