Is this a really terrible idea for a middle name??

[Shouldhavereadtheinstructions]

Since we had DS1 we always said that if DC2 was a girl then her middle name would be my grandma's name. She is a truly amazing woman and we would both love to do this in her honour. But of course.... We are now expecting a boy!

We have thought of alternatives and even went so far as asking my grandma if she had any favourite boys names she would choose e.g. that my grandad hadn't liked 😂but I just keep coming back to really wanting her actual name to live on. DS2 is likely to be her last great grandchild (and obviously I can't tell anyone else what to name their kid!).

Would it be truly terrible to give DS her name as a middle name anyway? It's not a super 'girly' name as she goes by a nickname. E.g. think El rather than Eleanor or Kat rather than Katherine. On the one hand I think it's be wonderful to be named after such an amazing person and for his middle name to have a story. And it's very easy not to share your middle name widely if he is anxious in certain contexts. But is he just going to get awfully teased? Does that even matter as kids will always find something to tease about??

What do you think? Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Nell is fine. Very surname-ish. My DS has my surname as his middle
Name

I think it works!!

I think Nell is fine actually. Nellson, if not - yes with two ‘l’s or what’s the point?

Hm, I still don’t think it’s a good idea. Makes me think of an old lady.

What about Neil? It’s basically the male version of the same name.

But really I think you should be thinking about finding a name that YOUR SON will love and forget about your own sentimental wants 🤷‍♀️

Nell seems fine, or go for Neil

Ooh or Llen

Spell it 'Nel' and go for it. I know two male 'Nel's, and they are both super-cool :)

Nell would work very well as a middle name for a boy.

That's his chosen short form from Mandel, not his actual given name

Nell is fine

Could you do Neil with a capital I? 😂

Use a name that means the same, like Lucas. Much better than giving your son a girl's name.

I would use something similar like Darnell, Connell, Tynell.

Or call him Lenny.

Nell is fine though Nellie wouldn’t work. If you wanted you could add a silent letter on to hide the Nell, Gnell,Knell ( actually not athat one sounds a bit sweary).Or even Snell if you are an archers fan. Sorry.

Nell is quite a cool name for either gender - I’d go for it!

Yeah it works. Like others say it could be read as a surname and isn't so obvious it's a woman's name.

What's wrong with Neil? Not close enough?

Thanks for all the feedback on Nell! It's good to hear a mix of opinions rather than fully unanimous ridicule.

Not sure about Neil - I've worked with a couple of awful Neils so that's spoilt it a bit for me!

Also not sure why some people are so surprised by the idea of commemorating a family member with a middle name - I thought this was pretty common? We did it for DS1 with DH's grandad's name. Also he will have met her as she's still v much live and kicking so he will at least have photos with her even if he doesn't remember her when he's older.

Will have a chat with DH and try to come to a decision on Nell v.s. maiden name.

Thanks everyone!

Also not sure why some people are so surprised by the idea of commemorating a family member with a middle name - I thought this was pretty common?

It is common. I think some people (or me anyway) don’t really like it because it’s using a child to express something that you, the adult, want to say. You’re the one who wants to honour your grandmother but your son is the one who ends up with her name- it doesn’t seem right or fair to me. But as you say it’s not unusual- just personal taste.

I still think it’s fine as a middle name. If he hates it he’ll just tell people he hasn’t got a middle name. Honestly I wouldn’t agonise over middle names, I don’t know the middle names of most people I know. I don’t think my friends know mine. Because they’re not generally used in day to day life.

Any and every name you use is expressing something you want to say. If you name your child William or Henry you’re probably traditional. If you choose River or Bluesy you’re probably a bit alternative. Jackson or Tyler you’re probably a bit more modern/stick with the current trends. Castiel, probably a big fan of Supernatural, Jae-on, probably Korean. It’s impossible to choose a name that doesn’t say something about you. As long as it’s not awful (ie those white supremacists who named their child things like Aryan etc) then what’s the issue with your name saying something?

I did with my son and he hates it, going to change it by deed poll.

I would just use Nell.

I agree all names inevitably say something about you (although some more than others). I suppose the difference is that some names say something for you, and that's what I dislike: a child is not a billboard.

Very happy to accept that this is just a matter of personal opinion, obviously.

No.

if you want her name to live on, have it added to yours.