Those who are not married, does DC have your surname or the fathers surname?

[Sam2002]

Me and Ex split when DD was born. DD needs to be registered and ex wants her to have his surname. I am unsure wether to do this or not, I know he’ll be in DD’s life, but where our relationship is so uncertain I’m worried about giving her his surname. I feel as though I’d be doing it solely for him and his family who want DD to have their surname too. I feel really pressured or am I making this a big deal for no reason? I feel like giving DD his surname to shut everyone up. Any advice please?

Don't give DD your ex's last name, and certainly not just to shut his family up.
I'm a lone parent and both my kids have my last name. I think it would be weird if they didn't as we all live together and I'm the one dealing with all their life admin (forms, appointments, schools etc). We are one unit so we have the same last name is how I look at it.

They have their dads surname.
He wouldn't let them have mine or double barrel it. I still hate it a decade on.

Use your surname.

Ds1 has mine . Younger dcs have their dad's. If I wasn't with their dad I'd probably go for my own or both.

Saying that I've not had the same name as ds1 since he was 8 either (since I married) and I've never had any issues taking any of them away or with school etc

I regret giving my dc their dads surname. (stupidly thought it was the done thing)
We still together but never married I just wish I thought longer term.
Id give them mine if I had my time over x

Mine have their dad’s surname. He did offer repeatedly to marry me and I said no repeatedly. He would still marry me. We are still together. It’s not a problem because I’m either referred to as Mrs DPs surname or dcs first names mum.
I’m absolutely fine wth not being married and the dcs names.
In your situation as you have split up I would give the child my surname.

They have mine, absolutely not his.

Seeing as you'll likely be now doing the donkey work 24/7 most of the week and making the vast majority of the financial and career sacrifices going forward for the next 18 years, your say out trumps his, give her yours.
Unless he's going for 50/50 after all he's 50% responsible for her half the time. Is he?

Give her your surname or double barrel or use his as a middle name. You are not married, so it's your choice and you'll be the one doing all the parenting.

Mine have dp's name. It's never been a problem but with hindsight, I wish mine had been in there somewhere.

In your scenario I’d only give the baby your surname. If you were with the father then both’s

Both have his
Dp was adopted as an older child and him changing his surname when he was adopted to the family ment a lot to him so I gave the kids his name, he was thrilled as he didn’t expect it.

They have mine as their middle name and 19yr old ds goes by my surname as there was another child with his first initial and surname in his tutor group at school so he swapped them and it stuck.

In your circumstances, your surname .
We split when ds was 3 , he's got his dad's surname and I'm fine with that , mine is really hard for English people to spell and pronounce !
Ots one of his middle names though

Bloody hell why would you give baby your ex’s surname?! Tell him to jog on!

As @Wankerchief has demonstrated, names are not permanent- if your child later on in life chooses to use dad’s surname they can

Are his family discussing the support he will give you or just talking about the surname?

No, no, no. Baby gets your surname.
Don’t discuss it, get it done.

You can change baby’s surname from yours to his in the future, but you can’t change it from his surname without his permission.

Give the baby your name!! The ex is history and you don't know how long he'll be around. I'm married but don't share husband's surname and the children have husband's name which has turned into a big pain in the bum

We double barrelled the kids. We later got married and each kept our own surname, so now we are a household of 3 different surnames.

It works fine.

In your case, I'd definitely give the baby your surname. The baby should have the mother's surname.

You may have another child at some point and do you want to be
Ms 2002 with DD1 with your ex's surname and Dc2 with the new partner's surname.

You could put the dad's surname as a middle name
e.g. Lily Wilson Bradley
not Lily May Wilson-Bradley

In your circumstances I'd 100% give your surname

Ours are hyphenated but we are together. If I we had split up it would be mine or hyphenated as a compromise if I felt he was reasonable and likely to be a present and involved father. They have no right to pressurise you about this and if they continue you should just register DC by yourself. It's a real cheek that his family are saying anything about it tbh.

No way should your DD have your ex’s surname. Give your baby your name and save yourself years of trouble. Don’t give into any intimidation from your ex and his family. Incidentally it has even less to do with his family than your ex.

Your name always. Please.

If you are split, then baby definitely should have your surname.

My DC all have my surname.

My sister split shortly after having her child and she has her name. The father has nothing to do with them. I don't see any practical reason to have the father's name particularly if the mum is custodial parent.