Did you take your family’s opinions on board when you chose a name?

[MilesOrOscar]

Hello, DH and I appear to have very opinionated families when it comes to naming our first baby!

If they don’t like a name we are toying with, they will make it v clear they aren’t keen, like saying ‘oh it sounds like …….. and then adding a word that rhymes or sounds like the name. They are so overly opinionated / controlling.

It’s doing my head in! I’m carrying the baby, giving birth to it, etc etc. I think the name I give my baby is up to no one but me, and DH of course! I have seen posts on MN where someone says they wish they had called their baby the name they loved but went with the majority vote, which may have meant choosing a name they aren’t totally in love with.

Curious to know if I’m not being fair and I should take close family’s opinions on board.

I’m not too bothered about discussing baby names in a vague way - “names like Sam and Ben are nice”. I think we’re leaning towards having a short list and find a name that suits when they’re born, so we won’t have a name to give. Our families know they aren’t going to change our minds though, so if they do say something it’s never going to be acted on! However, I’m also prepared to throw out some some names I know they’ll hate if they push too much.

Lesson one.
Never tell anybody other than baby other parent your ideas.

Lesson two. If they really cant keep their noses out, offer some "untraditional" choices. We really love Gertrude on a boy.
And cuthbert is so sweet and girly

DH and I had our boys name picked out 10 years ago! But, we hated all girls names, couldn't pick one to save our lives.

We didn't find out what we were having and spent the entire 9 months googling girl names! Then, one day, whilst scrolling social media, I saw the name Marley next to a picture of a little blonde girl. I instantly loved it and sent it to DH and he loved it too. I excitedly told my family on the whatsapp group and they responded with pictures and GIFs of the dog from the film 'Marley and Me'. When we told his family, they said it reminded them of Jacob Marley from 'A Christmas Carol'.

I told them all that when the baby was one year old, I would ask them what the name Marley made them think of and when her first birthday came around, true to my word, I asked them all how they felt about the name Marley. I then sat back with a smug look on my face. whilst listening to them all gush about how they couldn't imagine her having any other name and how her name suited her so very perfectly.

The moral of the story is that, it absolutely doesn't matter what name the little one gets as, whatever it is, will be their name and they will be loved for who they are. Their name will become a part of their lovely little character.

Also, I personally loved the conversations with people, trying to work out a baby name. I remember being offended when they didn't like one and excited when they agreed with me. It's just another one of those little fond memories from my pregnancy, that I wish I could fold up and put in my pocket, to give to Marley when she's all grown up and asking me for advice on what to call her little one.

I remember one of my closest friends discussing names a lot in her pregnancy and then when the baby was born the name was one that she hadn’t mentioned once. Obviously she had decided to keep it to herself without coming out and saying so, which worked well really. No one got offended, all was well.

I think use a similar rule as to when you are newly pregnant and don’t want people to know: Announcing to everyone that you can’t drink because you’re on antibiotics is guaranteed to make everyone guess you’re pregnant and likewise announcing that you won’t be discussing names and it’s nothing to do with wider family will just get everyone’s backs up and make them angry. Just be vague and don’t bring anything up unless asked “oh we don’t know but I quite like the names Ava and Beatrice, Cora is also nice…” (when really you’ve set your hearts on Daphne).

Absolutely NOT. It's nobody else's business!

My poor daughter was thinking about a name for her son and when she told me it must have been written all over my face that I thought it was horrendous. When she gave birth and we went to see her she said they had chosen a different name because it was obvious I thought that the name they liked was terrible. I will practice my poker face next time.

Nope! I picked Eloise, I hadn't heard of the name before and wanted something 'different'. My stepmum mocked it asking if it was made up, I had numerous comments on how to pronounce/ spell it and my nana still refuses to call her it.

It honestly made me love it more😂

I took into account how each side of the family would say the name, and it ruled out some names.

Some names sounded awful in one or both accents.

With DD1 I mentioned a name I liked to my mum - think along the lines of Tessa, and she responded "Why would you call your daughter Tesco, what an awful name" on and on. By DD2 I thought "Screw you, I still love it" and went with Tessa. DM "loves it and can't think why she would have ever made such a stupid comment"

We have the same problem!
We loved Luna but PILS have flat out said they don't like it and keep asking if we've found another one.
We've been looking through every girls name list we can hoping to find another name we like just as much but no luck so far! My mum did tell me my DGM didn't like my name though so that kind of made me feel better 😅