DH has vetoed my girls names because they’re “too middle class”

[MonicaFaloolaGeller]

I’m gutted!

We have a son called Edward, I’m currently pregnant with no. 2. Pretty much got a boy’s name locked in but still shortlisting girls.

Two girls names I said I loved are Ophelia and Arabella. Both go fine with our surname.

He said no to both on account of them being too posh/middle class. Nothing wrong with the names themselves, just the association (in his mind).

He has a thing about anything he thinks is too middle class (even though he is, by definition, middle class himself.)

Can anyone think of names in the same vein that I would like that won’t offend DH’s ridiculous class sensibilities?

Other names I like are

Alexandra
Evelyn (with a short “ev” like in never)

DH so far has said he likes Orla and Georgia. I’m not into Orla, and don’t like Georgia.

Middle names Mary, Rose.

I think ‘A’ names go well with Edward. Annabel or Alexandra?

I think they are a bit 'try hard' MC and the current trend for quite fancy names ending in an 'a' for girls must surely be coming to an end? So in a sense you've possibly missed the boat.

If you've got an Edward (lovely name) why not match it with a Victorian/Edwardian girls name (above or below stairs types would all work well). So anything from Alexandra, Victoria, Beatrix/ce and Helena to Maud, Kate, Alice or Eliza. You've already got two (Mary and Rose) chosen for middle names so keep with the vibe.

I agree that Edward is a very solid British name that transcends class, so for your DD choose the equivalent. Ophelia is a bit of a 'doomed' name and Arabella always makes me think of porcelain dolls for some reason.

I don't think Edward is a similar sort of name to Arabella or Ophelia - Edward is quite a classless, neutral kind of name, where as the other two are a little frilly and pretentious to some ears. Girls names I see as similar in vibe to Edward are ones like Charlotte, Elizabeth, Harriet, Caroline, Lucy, Margot, Sophie, Anna.

Loads of dogs round here are called Bella!

I think it's pretty much irrelevant why he doesn't like the name. If he doesn't like them, he doesn't like them 🤷. You need to find one that you both like. Imagine if he was insisting on something you didn't like? He should be slated on here! The baby will be both of yours after all. He has every right to get pleasure out of a new baby name also.

Or hit him with some mid-century Australian fossils: Raylene, Gaylene, Kaylene, Noelene, Narelle, Cheryl and Beryl! Good onya!

As a fellow Melburnian, I love yer work there @groovergirl ... but you missed out the most classic of all - Charlene

With Edward I would stick with the royal theme and choose Alice. They were my choices until a friend pointed out that Ed Would + our surname was a sentence!

An urban myth has it that there’s a woman in our county called Ophelia Dick (family member of Everard Dick who is actually real) so I wouldn’t choose Ophelia for that reason. Plus Arabella to me is trying to hard to be posh. But I don’t like your DH’s choices either.

A thought op, if you like Ophelia, what about Daphne?

Felicity
Penelope
Talitha
Madeleine
Georgina
April
Ottilie
Hannah
Eloise
Calanthe
Josephine
Jocelyn
Matilda
Eleanor / Eleanore

^
If you've got an Edward (lovely name) why not match it with a Victorian/Edwardian girls name^

Why do names have to 'match' like this?

If it bothers your husband (even for a very silly reason) you can’t use the names. There’s no real compromise here, it’s so bloody hard. You both have to be happy.

Ophelia and Arabella are definitely not aspirational middle-class names - they’ve always been associated with the uber-posh upper class. Nothing wrong with that of course, but certain names have associations whether we like it or not, which some people read into.

What about something shorter and pretty? With these long names I always wonder what the parents use as a nickname and whether it sounds silly (a bit baby-ish) or not.

Rosalie
Maren
Maria
Elise
Hanna
Beatrix
Carla
Zoe
Renee

I like the husbands names better. Orla is beautiful.

Your suggestions are very frilly.

Use your choice as a middle name ? I do agree with him to be honest … like Orla though

I don't really have views about the names, but I think it's a really good idea to choose names that both parents are happy with. We got that wrong and had to change DS's name when he was older. In hindsight it would have been better to choose something we both liked first time.

Arabella and Edward are beautiful together. We have an Arabella and was told our second was a boy. Edward was on the shortlist as I just thought it seemed so fitting for Arabella.

I’m also surprised though that you have an Edward but he thinks Arabella is too posh I would say Edward is much more middle class.

Evangeline?

Why not have one of those names as a middle name?

The first name needs to be something you both feel happy with.

I can see where your husband is coming from. Arabella and Ophelia both scream "aspiring to be upper middle class". Whereas Edward is a timeless classic.

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

I liked Ophelia but then my husband put on an accent and made it sound like ‘I’ll feel ya’ and now I hate it. I too love Arietty and your suggestion, OP, of Alexandra.

Mary Rose
Elizabeth
Helen
Eleanor
Rosemary
Rosalie
Felicity

I love seeing Anna come up on these lists. My ‘Anna’ is 23 now and spent all her school years as the only Anna in her class. She loved it lol.

My not so lucky son Jack has a Felicity and Verity which keep popping up lately too!

Molly
Avery
Orielle/a
Harriet

Sorry op, I don’t like those names either, they’re just too pretentious. I always think of whether I would like to be called that or not and these are definitely on the not list.

I actually hate my name and cannot fathom why my parents ever chose it. Not going to say what it is, but it does have some unfortunate connotations. I’m stuck with it, but when my daughters were born I tried to make sure that their names were ones that would fit in anywhere. Maybe I’m just boring!

To my fellow Australians upthread, can I see your Charlene and raise you an Epponnee-Rae?

I can see Arabella being shortened to Bella. Would that be a compromise, name on birth certificate Arabella, but called Bella? What names does your husband like? Just wondering if there's something you'd agree to if one of your choices could be a second name.

Hannah/Anna
Rebecca,
Catherine