So annoyed with DHs attitude to names.

[KeepSmiling89]

Nearly 10weeks pregnant so still early days but DH and I naturally discuss possible names for our little one. He is SO fussy though...here are his requirements:

1. Can't be anything Disney related so with more and more Disney movies coming out our list will be VERY short. Gutted as I love the name Aurora (with Rory as a nickname)

1. Can't be a name that's already in the family...even distant family. I suggested Alexander and he said it was his ex GFs dad's name and an uncle on his dad's side I'd never even heard of! It was also my dad's best friends name but I don't care! I like the bloody name!

1. Can't be anything our friends have called their children, even if those children are in teen years etc.

1. Can't be linked to anything negative in his past. I totally get this one. I always loved the name Andrew but his school bully had this name...our friend also recently named her 2nd son this so it was out the window anyway. However, why not use the name and make some new happy memories so it's not tainted?

1. Can't be anything he might struggle to spell...like Eilidh or Niamh. Here's an idea...give our child the name and you'll get used to spelling it! I love Eilidh and am NOT giving it up so easily if we have a girl.

Every name I suggest, he says "oh, I know 3 Hannahs" for example. I'm like, "and your point is...?"

This is just a rant but wondered if anyone else's partners are fussy with names. I love him but he's just so bloody stubborn! As long as it goes with our surname, I'm happy!

I think 4 and 5 are totally valid, and unlikely to budge on. Maybe ask him to suspend his concerns in the others until you have a list and then narrow it down later using the criteria? He might find some of the no-nos grow on him

In my experience a lot of men are very difficult about names, not sure why.

However, I think condition 1 is very easy , cannot think of a single Disney name that you would use except perhaps Anna . Conditions 2 and 4 are reasonable although I wouldn’t draw the circle it quite so widely. I would also seriously consider names which are spelled differently to their phonetic sound as your child will spend a lifetime spelling out their name ( I speak from experience )

Ask him to be the one who comes up with the lists.

2 has to have some limits on it. How is an ex girlfriend's dad 'part of the family?' If it's a distant relative and someone you don't see other than at birthdays / Christmas then I think should be fair game.

@Skiptheheartsandflowers I'd never even heard of this uncle until I mentioned the name, which I'd why it irritated me so much!

I would agree with 4 & 5, and probably Disney. The rest are total rubbish- other people are called names because they are nice names. I would probably send him a new list daily of about 6 names which are all family or friends and one like QWERTY and say we both pick a favorite and I’ll add it to the lsit. And when he objected then say well you have ridiculous criteria and I’ve come up with a way to find names that actually meet it. Some husbands would be touched by the effort I’ve gone to to deliver on your requirements.
And on weekend days I would mix it up from baby name lists. Some suggestions:

• Living in a house is super boring, literally everyone we know lives in a house. Let’s sell and we can live in something we don’t know anyone else has lived in. I’ll get the sale rolling and you think of where we can live
• I can’t eat that. We eat that at least once a month. I only want to eat things no one else has ever eaten before

‘Sandra is going on holiday you say? Did you tell her her name is so boring? -so done with wearing shoes. Literally everyone else wears shoes. I’ve put all yours in a bin bag and you can think of something else.

My DH was similar, he had some spurious objection to pretty much every name I suggested. In the end I stopped suggesting things, have him a baby name book and told him to give me some suggestions instead. Then he found out that it'ss easy to just say no to everything, not so easy to come up with the ideas yourself!

*gave him

Ha, this made me laugh with the nostalgia. My DP was annoyingly fussy with names too - as soon as DD was born, he was so overjoyed she was with us and I'd done 'such a good job with with birth', he went with whatever I wanted! Turns out he loves the name I chose and couldn't think of any other name that would suit her. Play the long game OP...

Is he making any suggestions himself or just vetoing everything?

I can understand not using close family names or names used by friends for their children, but he seems to have loads of banned criteria here.

Also, 'Disney' is a big category to ban! There are loads of normal, nice names used in Disney films...can't see the issue unless you're thinking of something like Moana!

Have you asked him to suggest any? Maybe then you can get an idea of what he likes too.

The Disney one, negative association and the spelling...I think are fair enough!

I agree with most of them! We didn't find out the sex with our 3rd so the arguments lasted until I was practically pushing!! I am quite picky but dh didn't make many suggestions!

I think these are all valid tbh but don't worry, you have approx 6 months to agree on a few

Start making noises about giving the baby your surname, if you still have it.

If not, start making noises about how you kind of regret changing it and are thinking of changing it back, and maybe the baby could have that name...

Watch him sit up and start playing nice.

Get him to write an a-z of baby names (maybe 2 for each letter) and he will see it’s easy to dismiss names and not so easy to think of ones you would actually use.

My DH was similar. It stressed me out so much, especially with my 2nd. Although we have a rule that we don't discuss names until after 20 weeks, otherwise we'd spend the whole 9 months at loggerheads

we had LOADS of restrictions on names, due to 3 cultures and the names had to work in all 3, and lots of sounds don't work in the other languages
so, no th, no g, no j etc etc

also Dh decided no flower names (Poppy, Daisy, Lily) no characteristics (Grace, Hope)

He also wanted one for dd from his culture, as we live in mine and he wanted her to have a link.

All through through pregnancy we couldn't find anything. Then I was told on Friday at 37 weeks that I would need to be incuded on the Monday.

We sat down with the baby book and went through. Suddenly found an unusual name we both loved, which has a simple English nickname.
Sorted.

Nothing Disney, so none of the below then? 🤨

What’s on his list of possible names?

Jasmine (Aladdin)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
Elsa (Frozen)
Anna (Frozen)
Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
Flora (Sleeping Beauty)
Fauna (Sleeping Beauty)
Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)
Eudora (The Princess and the Frog)
Charlotte (The Princess and the Frog)
Mulan (Mulan)
Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Jane (Tarzan)
Judy (Zootopia)
Perdita (101 Dalmatians)
Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
Bianca (The Rescuers)
Willow (Pocahontas)
Roxanne (A Goofy Movie)
Penny (Bolt)
Peg (Lady and the Tramp)
Wendy (Peter Pan)
Minnie
Daisy
Huey (DuckTales)
Louie (DuckTales)
Dewey (DuckTales)
Flynn (Tangled)
Eugene (Tangled)
Kristoff (Frozen)
Jack (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Gus (Cinderella)
Phillip (Sleeping Beauty)
Eric (The Little Mermaid)
Nick (Zootopia)
Peter (Peter Pan)
Felix (Wreck-It Ralph)
Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)
Maurice (Beauty and the Beast)
Roger (101 Dalmatians)
Wilbur (The Rescuers Down Under)
Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)
Lilo (Lilo & Stitch)
Nala (The Lion King)
Tala (Moana)
Moana (Moana)

There's an app you can get for your phones and you both go through and choose which ones you like then it tells you which you've matched on. It's a good way to avoid having to say no because xyz to each one. Sorry I forget what it's called.

I just gave DH a baby name book and told him to circle those he liked. I then picked ones I liked from that list. It worked fine.

Well, he can say no as much as he wants - it's not up to you to find the names he will accept.

Just tell him that you will both sit down at 30 weeks and by that point he needs to have come up with his own lists. 10 of each sex.

In the meantime, come up with your own shortlist. Dont even mention them to him for him to say no.

It is his baby too.... You have to agree on names.

Good he has been clear on what he doesn't want. Most wouldnt bother then just vetoe names suggested.

@starrynight21

I just gave DH a baby name book and told him to circle those he liked. I then picked ones I liked from that list. It worked fine.

I tried that approach but I think DH lost interest. It's not a coincidence that DC's names all begin with the first three letters of the alphabet.

@frazzledasarock

Nothing Disney, so none of the below then? 🤨

What’s on his list of possible names?

Jasmine (Aladdin)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
Elsa (Frozen)
Anna (Frozen)
Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
Flora (Sleeping Beauty)
Fauna (Sleeping Beauty)
Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)
Eudora (The Princess and the Frog)
Charlotte (The Princess and the Frog)
Mulan (Mulan)
Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Jane (Tarzan)
Judy (Zootopia)
Perdita (101 Dalmatians)
Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)
Bianca (The Rescuers)
Willow (Pocahontas)
Roxanne (A Goofy Movie)
Penny (Bolt)
Peg (Lady and the Tramp)
Wendy (Peter Pan)
Minnie
Daisy
Huey (DuckTales)
Louie (DuckTales)
Dewey (DuckTales)
Flynn (Tangled)
Eugene (Tangled)
Kristoff (Frozen)
Jack (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Gus (Cinderella)
Phillip (Sleeping Beauty)
Eric (The Little Mermaid)
Nick (Zootopia)
Peter (Peter Pan)
Felix (Wreck-It Ralph)
Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)
Maurice (Beauty and the Beast)
Roger (101 Dalmatians)
Wilbur (The Rescuers Down Under)
Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)
Lilo (Lilo & Stitch)
Nala (The Lion King)
Tala (Moana)
Moana (Moana)

Why have you listed Disney names?! :S

We have always joked that we stopped at one child because after I vetoed half the possible baby names and my DH vetoed the other half of the baby names there was only one name left (our DS), so we wouldn't be able to name a second child.....lighthearted, but the struggle is real!