So annoyed with DHs attitude to names.

[KeepSmiling89]

Nearly 10weeks pregnant so still early days but DH and I naturally discuss possible names for our little one. He is SO fussy though...here are his requirements:

1. Can't be anything Disney related so with more and more Disney movies coming out our list will be VERY short. Gutted as I love the name Aurora (with Rory as a nickname)

1. Can't be a name that's already in the family...even distant family. I suggested Alexander and he said it was his ex GFs dad's name and an uncle on his dad's side I'd never even heard of! It was also my dad's best friends name but I don't care! I like the bloody name!

1. Can't be anything our friends have called their children, even if those children are in teen years etc.

1. Can't be linked to anything negative in his past. I totally get this one. I always loved the name Andrew but his school bully had this name...our friend also recently named her 2nd son this so it was out the window anyway. However, why not use the name and make some new happy memories so it's not tainted?

1. Can't be anything he might struggle to spell...like Eilidh or Niamh. Here's an idea...give our child the name and you'll get used to spelling it! I love Eilidh and am NOT giving it up so easily if we have a girl.

Every name I suggest, he says "oh, I know 3 Hannahs" for example. I'm like, "and your point is...?"

This is just a rant but wondered if anyone else's partners are fussy with names. I love him but he's just so bloody stubborn! As long as it goes with our surname, I'm happy!

1. Can't be anything Disney related so with more and more Disney movies coming out our list will be VERY short. Gutted as I love the name Aurora (with Rory as a nickname)

YABU - I don't like Disney names either

1. Can't be a name that's already in the family...even distant family. I suggested Alexander and he said it was his ex GFs dad's name and an uncle on his dad's side I'd never even heard of! It was also my dad's best friends name but I don't care! I like the bloody name!

Depends how distant. And how common the name is

1. Can't be anything our friends have called their children, even if those children are in teen years etc.

Younger kids I get his point. Again depends on the name and how usual it is for older kids. If it's a common name yanbu if it's more unusual yabu

1. Can't be linked to anything negative in his past. I totally get this one. I always loved the name Andrew but his school bully had this name...our friend also recently named her 2nd son this so it was out the window anyway. However, why not use the name and make some new happy memories so it's not tainted?

Yabu I'm with your dh on this. I work in a school and some names are on the black list. Same with school bully names

1. Can't be anything he might struggle to spell...like Eilidh or Niamh. Here's an idea...give our child the name and you'll get used to spelling it! I love Eilidh and am NOT giving it up so easily if we have a girl.

Yabu again work in a school and spend more time than I should having to spell tricky names or having to pronounce them with not much notice.!

Tbh, I had the same criteria as your DH, although didn't feel the need to clarify no Disney! Also, can't start with the same initial as our last name or the first name of anyone else in the household. It's not been that hard to find two names so far that we both like that don't have strong associations for either of us. We're butting heads on the third child a bit because neither of us like the others favourites, but still not finding it that hard to come up with a dozen names that meet those criteria to bat about. Maybe we're lucky that were fairly early in our friend group to have children, so we're nicking all the good ones!

My DH is fussy.

He just says no to every name I suggest.

Every so often he decides likes a name, and only that name, but then decides he's not keen any more...

Totally agree with 4 and 5.
I know a lovely Eilidh but everyone struggles to pronounce it if they’ve not come across it and spelling it’s a nightmare.I’m sure she got less birthday cards because of it.

Some of the Disney names aren’t made up by Disney so I don’t think they really count. Jane as in Tarzan isn’t Disney just because they did a version.

While some of the points on the list are not unreasonable, his criteria and feelings don't get to trump your criteria and feelings. And you talk of being hormonal and emotional in your response to his negativity and unhelpfulness. No, your feelings are quite reasonable and you should own them. Anyone would be upset if long-loved names are immediately crossed off in early pregnancy because, apparently, his criteria trump yours!

Your only criteria may be that you've loved the name for years and long to use it. If so, keep it on the list. He doesn't get to dismiss your loves and make no contribution. Stop dismissing your valid feelings and keep a list of names you love. You can tell him that you hope he falls in love with one of them and that it's too early to be crossing them off from your point of view. Take some power back! And be ready to let him know you're not keen on his ideas if you don't love them - there's nothing wrong with your criteria too!

Sorry, a bit of a rant, but I've seen mothers' bonding affected and name regret after giving all the name power to the partner.